Nikoneer

Hi All,
Just wanted to update and share my experiences because I benefited SO much by reading the post's and stories of those that came before me.

Seen my doctor yesterday and came completely clean with him about EVERYTHING. It was embarrassing and humiliating but he was SOOO kind, understanding, caring and so completely supportive that he really made me feel like it was all going to be okay. He didn't think I needed to be in an Outpatient or even Inpatient program but thinks it is okay for me to detox at home but warned me I'm going to have some rough few nights ahead of me. Also gave me the name of a good shrink I need to call and follow up with. Thank GOD I have an understanding boss who's working with me through this but I know this is only going to be a one-time-shot because he just can't go through this again with me nor would I let him.

So this is my TRUE, "Day 1". Dumped about $150 worth of booze down the drain last night. There's gonna be some pretty buzzed rats in the city's sewer system.. lol Feeling really scared not having my safety blanket of booze with me anymore and even MORE scared of finding out who I am as a sober person but hopefully the shrink can help with that.. Self medicating with alcohol has been all I've known for over 40 years. Not having the classic w/d symptoms most people get like shakes, twitching, sweats or fever but I think that's probably more because of the Xanax than anything. Emotionally I'm just kind of numb and drained.

Need to thank EVERYONE here at SR for having helped me get this far. Without all of your support I would not have even tried.

Saliena

Good job Nikoneer!!! I am proud of you... what you have done is no small feat! So, while you may be emotionally drained you can be super PROUD of yourself and what you have done!

Fenris

That's awesome Nikoneer. Welcome to Day 1.

dive2deep

Welcome Nikoneer,

I'm only on day 15 today, so I can't quite be of too much help in the advise area, except to tell you not to worry. You will love the sober you. I am just discovering the sober me, and it's been a blessing every day. The first week is hard, but the second is much better, at least it was for me. Glad you went for medical help, that's what I did. My Dr detoxed me with Librium (a long acting benzo), and he has me on Camprel, which is supposed to help with the cravings.

Stay strong and hang in there, I can't wait to read your 30 day post!

Dive2deep

Marine28

Good job, Nikoneer. I am on day Three. It can only get better.

tanja

God Bless you Nikoneer! Be proud of yourself and pat yourself on the back. What you are doing is inspiring. With great risk comes great gain. Hold sophie close and know you are changing for the better

tanja

I would also like to add that you FAR stronger than you think. I simply cannot imagine posting when detoxing. That takes great strength, commitment and inspiration for others!

Cephas

So good to hear you are trying. It's normal to worry about who you really are but it's also very liberating to finally accept who you really are and be free of all the baggage that is who you think you should be. That's when the peace come.

Thanks for sharing day one with us.

overthis

Congrats on taking all these steps to better your life, I am realizing sobriety really does take a lot of courage and strength so we should all be proud!

Dee74

way to go Nikoneer - awesome start

D

least

I am proud of you, my friend.:ghug3 It takes a lot of inner strength to pour out your "liquid courage" and start learning to live without it. The meds should ease your w/d symptoms and keep you safe during your detox.

As to being afraid to find out who you are sober... just take each day as it comes and trust in yourself as much as you are able. I have faith in you and I've never 'met' you. Besides, if I can do this, anyone can.

If you get cravings or feeling down, take Sophie for a nice long walk. The exercise and fresh air will be good for both of you and she'll thank you for giving her some 'sniffing' time. When I was first getting sober I'd walk my dogs any time I had cravings or felt antsy or irritable... yes, they loved getting all those walks!

It will probably feel quite strange at first, being sober, but it will get better, more 'normal', and soon you'll find that you like being sober. Having a good shrink to talk to (or a good counselor) can be a great help. It certainly was for me. All the best to you and your best buddy as you begin this journey.

:ghug3

least

Hey! You could join the class of November if you like. It's a nice way of getting and giving encouragement from/to those on the journey with you.

Tigger41

Teat job Nikoneer. Great first step. Even though it was hard it showed a lot of commitment to dump the booze. You'll be happy it not around to temp you.

The November class is pretty cool

sissy07

Nikoneer,

I have been following your posts, and I am really happy that you are taking action to quit drinking. You will love it. (Not to say you won't have some rough spots - that's when you rely on SR and your IRL support.)

You are being very brave, and it sounds like you are sobering up the smart way. Take care and keep updating us!

Bruman

Hey Nikoneer.

Congrats. I was a 25 year drunk. Not everyday for the 25 years but daily at the beginning. I've gone through periods of sobriety followed by binges lasting weeks. I've been through withdrawals several times before and can honestly say the first few days are the worst.

Keep yourself grounded and do what works for you.

DarrenW

I am very happy you have made that decision. Today is my first day. When I wake up I will be at 24 hours. I am 100% committed this time. I would drink a case at a time- about one night per week.