lbern

Hey guys...so I was asked to speak at a meeting last week and said yes even though I REALLY don't want to. My sponsor said if you were asked to speak and to be of service...you should do it. It is a big meeting and my first time speaking. I have trouble even just sharing for like a min or two during a meeting but I force myself to. I'm not speaking at this meeting for another couple weeks and I'm trying not to obsess over it but I am scared.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice. How did you deal with your fear of speaking the first time you did. Any input will help. Thanks!

eJoshua

I haven't spoken at a meeting, but I'm sure that when you do you will find it very rewarding.

I've done Toastmasters for a while now, and just from a public speaking side of things I would recommend trying to prepare as best you can and practice if possible. Try to use your nervous energy to connect with the audience. I know that speaking at a meeting is a little different than giving a speech, but I think some of the principles may apply.

Best of luck, I'm sure it will go great!

sugarbear1

You'll be awesome!

Pray that your higher power gives you the worrds someone there needs to hear. We are all there to save ourselves from practicing alcoholism. Keep head up, focus above peoples' heads, be honest, speak loud enough! Keep your hands away from mouth or chin.

Have fun!

instant

I don' go to AA, I am a naturally reserved person who avoids the limelight. In the course of my work I had to learn to speak to groups, and now I give regular talks to large groups.

My tips are

• work out what you are going to say
• have props or notes of your main points- rehearse
• accept that you will be nervous and that it is OK to be so, it's natural
• the anxiety is worse in the lead up and when you first start, then diminishes as you get into it
• make eye contact with some audience members where possible (you can then screen out the rest of the group)
• In my experience I have always done better than I predicted, and I always enjoy it even though it is threatening
• I now understand that other people will have a more accepting evaluation of my performance than I do myself - that is the way it rolls-- not everything I think is true

good luck

Rusty Zipper

if you use a prop, be it a Big Book, and not a Booze Bottle!

sugarb said it best,

inhale, exhale, dont forget to breath,

and let it flow

Kablume

I spoke 1 month before my 2 years. I was told before never turn down an AA request if at all possible. So I don't! I stumble when I speak at meetings. I feel awkward afterwards but it may help someone.

I agree with sugarb. I said a prayer asking my higher power for the courage I needed and the words that needed to be said. I got up there and you would have thought I had been a speaker before. (I failed a public speaking class in high school because there were football players in it!)

I thought about what I wanted to say beforehand but I didn't take any notes in with me. I didn't hit on everything in my life. I said what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now. I wish I had touched on what it is like now more. But I feel that I said what was needed to be said.

My sponsor suggested I tell a joke beforehand but I just went into my story. I ended with a joke called Shirley Goodnest and Marcy. Google it if you want to see it. I read it from a paper.

Good luck and I know you will do just fine!

sugarbear1

This is aa, not a class. If you seriously feel the need, take notes, but aa is From your heart & soul. You don't need notes on your experience, strength & hope. Remember your steps!

wow04

The first time I spoke I was so nervous. I did what has been suggested. I asked my HP to give me the words to help someone.

Once I started talking I was on a role.

With the help of your HP you will do wonderful!!

Fenris

I always freak out a little bit when we're just going around the room and sharing on a topic and it comes to me, so I can sympathize with you on a smaller scale (being the speaker at a meeting would probably ratchet my anxiety level up to a ten), but there've been a couple of times that someone came up to me after the meeting and told me that I said something they needed to hear. That makes it worthwhile to me -- it would be selfish of me to give in to that fear. I always pray first, like others have said on this thread, for words that will help someone else.

--Fenris.

PaperDolls

I always get nervous too .... it's normal.

I'm actually speaking at my home group next Sunday. I'm more nervous this time than the previous 2 times. I'm not sure why. Either way, what I plan to do this time and what I've done in the past is try not to think about it much. Before I head to the meeting I pray that I say what others need to hear and that I make sense and that I speak from my heart. Right before the meeting, I pray that I don't freak out and that I make sense. Simple at that. I speak to my HP as I would a good friend. Don't complicate it.

You'll do fine and it will not only benefit you but others as well.

Break a leg!!

TimFoot

Brief notes help. Don't say "you know" after each sentence. That drives me nuts.

Cephas

I was having anxiety about speaking and what to say one time and I told my sponsor about it. He told me I was having anxiety because I was still trying to be in control. He said to trust God, be honest and just speak truth. My anxiety was me focusing on me, my will not God's will, worrying about me and how I would come across.

People in AA relate to the truth because we have made so many of the same mistakes and we are all so imperfect.

So I just told my story and didn't worry about anything else.

omegasupreme

See, I don't know what other people need, I do the work in steps 1-9 and become a hollow bone, yanno, let God demonstrate through me what He can do.

lbern

Thanks everyone. I'm going to that meeting tonight and I'm not the speaker tonight but I'm gonna try and get my hand up to share. I need to get more comfortable doing that. I'll post again later. Thanks for all the advice. I'll definitely let you all know how it goes when I actually do it...2 weeks from today.

Sugah

Almost everyone thinks they'll puke the first time, and hardly anyone does.

Remember: what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now. The format is already laid out for you.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

mattparadise

Speak loudly, clearly, slowly and with confidence. That is the best advice I can give. Notes can help keep you on track. Maybe you could practce a few times also.

omegasupreme

Ask Chris R. with all his trips to the podium about puking, lol.

StPeteGrad

Congratulations on the invite. That means there are those who feel you are working a great program.

From my experience the speakers have a common theme: experience, strenghth, and hope.

It is a time where sharing your life story (experience) is very helpful. You lived your life so it should flow fairly easily. Some people use index cards with bullet points to help keep them on track and help them go from point to point. This is where the drunkalogue is very appropriate. People in AA see the strong person that you are today but this is your chance to talk about the person you were, things you did, how you thought.

The stories in the Big Book follow this basic theme. Most people were nervous their first time but they all settle in and do a great job.

You wouldn't be asked if they didn't think you were ready or felt your story could help others.

Congratulations!