Hello and Thank You
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
Hello and Thank You
Good evening. I just wanted to say hello and thank you, to all of you. I'm not married to my XABF, thank god. But I've experienced the same heartache, lies, fear, anxiety, uneasiness, walking on eggshells, all of it. After 4 years of breaking up, making up, breaking up again, broken promises, lies, more lies, yada yada, I am done FOR GOOD. I was only able to finally make the decision to stick with it after I recently googled "alcoholic boyfriend" or maybe I googled "alcholics who lie" or "lying alcoholic *******" or something to that effect, and stumbled upon SR. I have been glued to the forums and have been reading non stop.
I won't bore you with my story because it's really not that interesting. Same old same old. You're heard it before. I've always been aware that he had a drinking problem but have never bothered to learn about alcoholism and didn't realize how badly it affected me. Until about two months ago when I read Codependency No More. Since reading the book and discovering SR I am smarter and stronger. I have a long way to go and so much to learn. But I know one thing for sure. I will not be fooled again by him or any alcoholic man. EVER. I'm taking care of ME from now on. I'm ready to truly live life and be happy again.
Even though I'm not with him anymore, I'd like to stick around here if you all don't mind. If I hadn't discovered SR, I would have been back with XABF by now. Thanks to you guys that's not gonna happen anymore. Yay me!
Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and thank you all. I hate that you're all hurting but it feels good to know I'm not alone. I've been looking at alanon schedules in my town and I even printed the calendar but I haven't decided which ones to go to yet. Like I said I'm not with him anymore but I think I still need SR and alanon. I need to make some major changes in my life, to heal, to improve myself, so I don't make the same mistakes again. Thanks again for having me.
I won't bore you with my story because it's really not that interesting. Same old same old. You're heard it before. I've always been aware that he had a drinking problem but have never bothered to learn about alcoholism and didn't realize how badly it affected me. Until about two months ago when I read Codependency No More. Since reading the book and discovering SR I am smarter and stronger. I have a long way to go and so much to learn. But I know one thing for sure. I will not be fooled again by him or any alcoholic man. EVER. I'm taking care of ME from now on. I'm ready to truly live life and be happy again.
Even though I'm not with him anymore, I'd like to stick around here if you all don't mind. If I hadn't discovered SR, I would have been back with XABF by now. Thanks to you guys that's not gonna happen anymore. Yay me!
Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and thank you all. I hate that you're all hurting but it feels good to know I'm not alone. I've been looking at alanon schedules in my town and I even printed the calendar but I haven't decided which ones to go to yet. Like I said I'm not with him anymore but I think I still need SR and alanon. I need to make some major changes in my life, to heal, to improve myself, so I don't make the same mistakes again. Thanks again for having me.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Hi..Sounds like you have made a good decision...for you.
My exabf has been gone for 4 years, I still post as I feel that I may be able to share my experiences with others and possibly save them some of the pain and stress I went through.
In addition to that mess, my mother and cousin are both alcoholics, sooo....the drama continues.
Read around the forums, share and support others, we are all in same boat trying to row in the same direction...to the safety of the shore!
My exabf has been gone for 4 years, I still post as I feel that I may be able to share my experiences with others and possibly save them some of the pain and stress I went through.
In addition to that mess, my mother and cousin are both alcoholics, sooo....the drama continues.
Read around the forums, share and support others, we are all in same boat trying to row in the same direction...to the safety of the shore!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 674
You are of course, welcome to stay as long as you like. Thank you for your post.
It doesn't matter how long or married or not...you have been affected by a relationship with an alcoholic, and as you already know, SR is a wonderful place. So glad you found us.
I stumbled here myself a couple of years ago...googled "Alcoholic Insanity" when the behavior of my exabf seemed just that.
I am so much happier and healthier thanks to SR and Al-Anon...Keep reading and posting as much as you like. And if you feel like it, share your story...we don't get bored with the same old same old...I know I don't. You never know who will be touched or who will feel it seems familiar. You may help someone as much as you have been just by reading others stories.
It doesn't matter how long or married or not...you have been affected by a relationship with an alcoholic, and as you already know, SR is a wonderful place. So glad you found us.
I stumbled here myself a couple of years ago...googled "Alcoholic Insanity" when the behavior of my exabf seemed just that.
I am so much happier and healthier thanks to SR and Al-Anon...Keep reading and posting as much as you like. And if you feel like it, share your story...we don't get bored with the same old same old...I know I don't. You never know who will be touched or who will feel it seems familiar. You may help someone as much as you have been just by reading others stories.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
Thank you so much for welcoming me. I appreciate that. Even though I've made the decision not to go back to him, I still have my weak moments when I start missing him, but only for a minute. I copied and pasted various excerpts of posts here into a word document so that when I have those weak moments, I just read some of your words to remind me and to keep me strong. I don't think you guys have any idea how much you've helped me. I wish I can just hug all of you. I can't thank you enough.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 51
Welcome, Potroast! Remain strong! I've been separated from my addict for nearly two years and still have moments when I want to reach out to see if he's okay......It's always resulted in my being pulled back in to the madness. Love him from a distance for your own sanity.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
I know ninja! It's so hard to not want to reach out. When I was still mad it seemed easier but once i calmed down and decided to forgive him for my own peace of mind and started feeling better, I started feeling sorry for him. Then I felt sad and want to call just to see if he's ok. But I am staying away! I just keep thinking about all the crap and drama that he put me through and I think to myself, NO. DON'T DO IT. STAY AWAY. Thank you.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi potroast! I also had an XABF, I don't remember how many years we have of No contact, was it 2 or 3 years?? anyway we work together and he and all the drama come to mind sometimes so I still linger here...
I like you am grateful I did not marry XABF, have read so many sad stories here. I know the XABF is still in denial so imagine, sometimes they die in denial, so why wait for a miracle that may never happen? I miss the friend I had but I know he is gone. There are new people to come who will treat us right, as we treat others, we deserve that.
Hugs! SR is a lifeline and all these concepts have helped me deal with toxic people in general not only alcohol.
I like you am grateful I did not marry XABF, have read so many sad stories here. I know the XABF is still in denial so imagine, sometimes they die in denial, so why wait for a miracle that may never happen? I miss the friend I had but I know he is gone. There are new people to come who will treat us right, as we treat others, we deserve that.
Hugs! SR is a lifeline and all these concepts have helped me deal with toxic people in general not only alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
Hello Potroast, welcome, glad to have you with us.
You know it's ok to post your story, if you take the time to write it I promise I will make time to read it and I doubt it will be too boring or too long.
Also the specifics of your realtionship don't really matter, an addicted person has affected your life, that's all it take to make you a member of the club, we welcome you with open arms.
Please come back, post, vent, share, whatever feels right to you.
You will be in my thoughts,
Bill
You know it's ok to post your story, if you take the time to write it I promise I will make time to read it and I doubt it will be too boring or too long.
Also the specifics of your realtionship don't really matter, an addicted person has affected your life, that's all it take to make you a member of the club, we welcome you with open arms.
Please come back, post, vent, share, whatever feels right to you.
You will be in my thoughts,
Bill
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Welcome potroast.
Glad that you are here.
Sit down, make yourself at home, and type all you want.
It's been five months since I ended a relationship with an alkie. I'd be lying if
i said I haven't thought about him, and I am still concerned for his well being, but I so
value my sanity that I can never go back there..........
i can empathize with where you are at, and I am here to say, we are going to be ok.
Life aboard the crazy train is not for me...........
Glad that you are here.
Sit down, make yourself at home, and type all you want.
It's been five months since I ended a relationship with an alkie. I'd be lying if
i said I haven't thought about him, and I am still concerned for his well being, but I so
value my sanity that I can never go back there..........
i can empathize with where you are at, and I am here to say, we are going to be ok.
Life aboard the crazy train is not for me...........
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
You are most awesome, pot roast! Welcome, and congratulations on being so sane!
I found SR after Googling "Is my husband a functioning alcoholic?" and I agree SR is truly a great place to be. Al Anon is a great complement to it. Even though this relationship is over for you, it's good to take advantage of all these tools and education so that your next one is healthy! Way to go, and congrats again!
I found SR after Googling "Is my husband a functioning alcoholic?" and I agree SR is truly a great place to be. Al Anon is a great complement to it. Even though this relationship is over for you, it's good to take advantage of all these tools and education so that your next one is healthy! Way to go, and congrats again!
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