Coming here for some support- have an addicted mother.

Old 11-15-2011, 09:18 PM
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Coming here for some support- have an addicted mother.

I don't even know where to start because this history goes back my entire life, i'm a 24 year old male who has had an addicted mother for all of those years minus 10 years of her being sober. Which I take that back, she was on Methadone. But, let me get to the point. I'm tired of being the one and the only one in this entire family who holds onto everything that she throws. I'm her oldest son, she also has 2 daughters (16), they are my sisters, but they are in a good home now with their step mother, which i thank god for everyday that they were able to get out of that situation. Granted, no it wasn't up to them, she LEFT them for a drug dealer/user boyfriend. She basically has abandoned all three of us our entire life. I didn't have the privilege of growing up with a mother, my grandparents raised me since the age of five. You would think a near 50 year old woman would have her life together wouldn't you? Her mother has completely wiped her hands of her after all the years of support/abuse/loss/stolen items and yada yada that goes on with addicts. But it's not easy for me to just cut off my mother. She is the only mother I will ever have. I have not seen her going on 2 years now since she up and left us all again. She took that choice to re destroy her life after doing SO GOOD for about 10-12 years. Granted, like i said she was on methadone, but she was functioning had a job, a house, a car, and we had our mother.

I understand this likely isn't as detailed as it should be,plus very scattered, a million thoughts are running through my head at the moment, I just needed to google somewhere to talk and get some support to people who know what I am going through. I'm not one to burden my friends with my problems, I'm always the constant support system for everyone.. After receiving yet another negative call tonight about how she's walking down the road of a awful place in the inner city,because her and that boyfriend of her's are currently not '' getting along '', and that she'd rather walk in front of a car,or get mugged, to just get her life over with. She always states she wants to leave, she cannot stay, but we all know that is a lie, or else she would leave that man. What holds it all up,? Addiction.

I just needed to vent, i'm mentally tired. I can have great days with my friends and surrounding family, but this is the nightmare that returns weekly. That sounds really negative, almost as if i'm calling my mother a nightmare, lord knows i'm not. I would never forgive my self if anything happen to her, but she does not understand how much it's effecting me. When it's said and done, if she wanted to change, she would, she doesn't. She won't.
Thank you for reading
tjdk is offline  
Old 11-16-2011, 07:41 AM
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Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Sorry you're having to endure this. Have you been to Al Anon? If not, find a meeting and go. You will find a community that will understand what you're experiencing and help you find ways to cope and become healthy yourself. You can share your burden.

Take care of yourself.
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Old 11-16-2011, 08:36 AM
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Welcome tjdk, so glad you found us, this is a great place to vent, so many here have gone through what you are dealing with now.

I am going to give you some advice that I have a hard time doing myself, step back, release yourself from any guilt.

I am 49 and my mom has been an alcoholic for over 40 years, while I have not gone "no contact" with her I have quit feeling guilty about her self-destruction.

Best of luck to you,

Bill
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