flamingredhair

As part of the treatment program I'm in we have to come up with 45 ways we interfered in some else's life related to our using.

I always drank alone for the most part. When I did drink in public it was rarely to excess. I have gotten my family's input and have barely managed to come up with 30 interfrences. (My family didn't have any IDEA that I was drinking as much as I was. I was very good at being sneaky.)

Example, and it MUST read like this:

I interfered in the life of _____________ by my lying and playing sick instead of attending a concert we'd already purchased tickets for. Condition: (Drug of choice, craving, or sober.)

Because of the way I handled my addiction I didn't interfere in others lives as much as one might think. I feel like I am being put in a position of having to make up situations that didn't happen because I'm worried that if I don't follow the program to the letter my insurance company will refuse to pay for my treatment and my last list of 15 is due tomorrow.

I don't know what I should do.

BeBold

What Advice did your Sponsor give to you?

flamingredhair

"Dig deep."

We don't all fit in the same box! I'm tapped out. My family is too!

Dee74

For most of my career I drank at home too, I was very quiet, very secretive - but the choices I made to drink undeniably impacted upon other people.

examples from my own life:

Did you ever cry out of commitments or let people down, FRH because you wanted to drink?

Ever not give the care or concern you should have to a pet, or to a task for someone else, because you were drinking?

Ever pick a fight with someone so they'd leave you alone and you could drink?

Ever drive dunk or been in a car where the driver was drunk?

Seems to me the point is to get you thinking on the subject - and although I know it might be hard, I wouldn't make up stuff or use anything you may find here.

I think everybody could find 45 instances - I'm not sure about how strict they would be about the number tho. Maybe someone else will know?

D

flamingredhair

I've already used all of those in one way or another, Dee.

suki44883

I agree with Dee that the exercise is trying to make you think, or "dig deep." However, if you honestly can't come up with 45 instances, then you just can't. Maybe write that at the bottom of your paper. The fact that you did do the exercise shows that you are doing what they ask, so your insurance company shouldn't have any reason to stop coverage.

Bruman

Be Honest! Being sneaky or lying is what helped get you to the point you are now. No one can tell you you need x number of incidents. It's the one's you can recall and be honest about. That's it.

flamingredhair

I hope you're right, Suki.

I've spent a total of about 5 hours on these so far so it's not like I'm not trying.

LovesToTravel

I affected the recycle people's life. And the people at the stores..I was there too often.

eJoshua

How about all that you could have given back to your community if you had been sober. I occasionally think about the hours that I wasted selfishly when I could have been volunteering or helping another alcoholic.

Sounds like a tough exercise, but will probably be rewarding.

Hope this helps.

adore79

hi flamingredhair

when i was in IOP i usually always found my addiction councellor to be pretty understanding when i couldnt do the homework perfectly. maybe you could just go in early and talk to him/her about the issue and get help. at least it would let him/her know that you are trying and not just blowing the assignmnet off. good luck tommorrow

camedown

Who's lives did you ignore or put in second place because of your drinking? Half of my fourth step was based on my isolation.



camedown

WhoDey

I suggest something similar to what eJoshua and camedown shared. I drank most often in private. While there were certainly times when my drinking directly impacted someone in a negative way, I can also see a myriad of missed opportunities to influence someone in a positive manner. Sins of ommission if you will.

flamingredhair

Thanks for the great advice, all.

I finished my list!