Gabe

I love you dearly, because now you have infected my head with Petula Clark...and that is not a good thing.

'Twas the night before Christmas
'neath a bright, shining star
not a creature was stirring
Not even Dinotar

Codies in fleece pj's
And some in their flannel
Had just got done hanging
their stockings on the mantle

Then the Codies went to sleep
all snug in their beds
while visions of recovery
danced in their heads

When all of a sudden
there was such a clatter
The Codies all woke
to see what was the matter

They ran to the window and drew back the curtain
Something was wrong, of that they were certain
The moon shone right down, on the empties below
And the Codies were sure they were in for some woe

When what to their wincing, co-dependent eyes did appear
But a hollering drunk, with a twelve-pack of beer
He staggered around, and fell in the slush
And they knew in an instant, he must be "The Lush".

***To be continued by the next creative mind...(You didn't think I was going to do this whole thing by myself did you?)

Sandman

I have always HATED "to be continued."

So much talent. A great laugh before bed time. Thanks to all who wrote and shared.

smoke gets in my eyes

Oh Dangit! Oh Hangit! he hollered and bellowed.
The codies then knew that "the Lush" had not mellowed.
He climbed onto the porch and he leaned on the wall
then toppled aside but the swing broke his fall.

And then in a twinkling they heard from below
The chains start to creak as he swung to and fro.
This Christmas might be like some others before,
for the next sound they heard was a big lushy SNORE.

(Next!)

Ann

And while the Lush slept the codies were eating
and one of them said "let's go to a meeting"
And when they returned, their recovery in place
The Lush was not there, just an empty beer case

And a note sat on top, saying "Gone to the store...
I'll be back in 10 minutes, or hours or more.."
Then inside by the chimney a clatter they heard
And down dropped a fat man with soot on his beard

All covered in ashes from ankle to chin
Was was the Lush dressed as Santa and wearing a grin
"I tried but I couldn't get in through the door"
and he fell topsy turvy right down on the floor

(Next...)

smoke gets in my eyes

Then he rolled to his knees and he sobbed out "oh looky"
What dear Codies you are to leave Lushy a cookie!
Ann glowered a little. "You can sleep on the Futon,
have a bath and some soup, but unhand that Fig Newton!"

"For once you'll just have to control your drunk self
For that plate was left for the Jolly Old Elf!"
Ann snatched back the plate and then, smooth as silk
Gabe slid in behind them and snatched up the milk.

JT

This codie just smiled and turned on her heel;
ran to the bath and stepped in with a squeal!
She soaked and she soaked until wrinkles appeared
upon hearing a noise she thought "isn't that wierd"

And what to her wondering ears did she hear?
The Lush in the kitchen, her biggest of fears.
Banging and clanging, hicupping and sneezing,
coughing and f*rting and slamming and...singing!

Stepping out of the tub and onto the tile,
took a long look around and started to smile.
it was Smoke and MG and Ann and Gabe too,
Journey and Jon (!) OH MY!! Shoooo!!!

Grabbing her towel, trying hard not to blush
she began her apologies for the acts of the lush...

I am exhausted...next!!

smoke gets in my eyes

Ooooooh.... this is gooooooood.

Ann

JT in her towel, the rest dressed in style
Sent Lushy to sit in the bathtub a while,
Smoke grabbed the Fig Newtons and Gabe grabbed a plate
They plotted their next move, and sat there and ate

And all the new codies stood watching in awe
While the "old timers" sat picking the dates from their jaw
Then suddenly Smoke jumped out of her chair
"I've got an idea that I'd like to share!"

(hee hee next)

JT

Smoke started to speak and then she thought better
"We really should wait 'till JT grabs a sweater..
then make-up and hair-do and jewels a-glisten!
Now JT is all dressed and ready to listen.

Ann

ROFLMAO!!! (I wondered how long you would stay in that towel LOL)

smoke gets in my eyes

Just then came a thundering knock on the door,
or more like "thud thudding" accompanied by roar.
Sandman advanced to the door, and outside
Stood a great pile of packages, taller than wide.

The pile shouted out "Don't stand there like peasants!
Get off of your duffs! Help me carry these presents!
They're heavy y'know!" Sandman answered "I feel ya."
He grabbed off a bunch. Underneath stood Cecelia.

Gabe

The codies tucked presents snug 'neath the tree
And they squealed and they cooed and said
"There's one for me!"
Then they heard a loud roar
It was rude, it was bold
And The Lush shouted out
"This water is cold!"
"Get me a towel!"
"Get me a drink!"
Then Smoke looked at Ann and she said, with a wink...

Ann

"I hear a duck quacking, can you hear him too?
Too bad we can't take him out to the Zoo"
As Lushy kept quacking, the codies ignore
all the noise and then Gabe appeared at the door,

smoke gets in my eyes

What was it that Gabe had tucked under her arm?
For once, even Smoke was struck dumb with alarm.
"Don't wave that around! That thing isn't a trifle!"
But Gabe merely snickered and brandished... the rifle.

"Don't worry" said Gabe "This is no postal spree.
It's my Christmas air rifle... a gift from MG.
I'm sorry, my friends, for near stopping your hearts,
But this rifle just shoots tranquility darts."

"I think" she continued "that chances are fair
That I can enable your last Christmas prayer.
If you can get Lush to display his behind,
I'll plug him and drug him and then in no time

We'll deliver him up to the Localish Zoo.
Now Kitty, PW, marce, Liz and Boo...
You mission is vital. Leave nothing to chance.
You must trick the Lush into dropping his pants."

Ann

ROFLMAO!!!!

Oh I can't WAIT to see how she managed THAT!!

Gabe

Oh we can do that
Said the cutie codie four
We know just how to make Lush
drop trow to the floor
We'll promise him sex
They all think they're hunks
When they're really just
smelly old staggering drunks
"Let's get to it",
said Gabe
"We've a tough job to do
On Kitty!
On PW!
On Marce, Liz and Boo!
Get into the bathroom and
just do your duty
And me,
I will hope that he has a nice booty".
Gabe locked and loaded
The group crept to the door
Of the bathroom that held
The drunken, old boor
When what to their wondering eyes did appear...

smoke gets in my eyes

...but his mother. " I've finished your laundry, Lush dear!"

The quintet was stifled, the whole house was stunned.
And nobody knew just where Mom had come from.
Then they noticed the suit, it was sooty... but red,
and trimmed with white ball fringe. "She's out of her head!"

... the codies all murmered. It sure gave them pause...
to think Lush's mom thought she was Mrs. Claus.
Mom, she marched forward, "You poor little lush,
I know that you're needing a motherly touch.

I came down the chimney" Old Mommy Claus muttered
"There were cookies and milkglasses left out as clutter.
I put them away. And those stray stockings too.
In these days, drying socks by the fire won't do!"

Gabe

"Forget the Lush," Gabe replied
As she pointed the gun
This tranquility dart
I'll not waste on the son
The mother's in need of some codie attention
It's time for a good old
Anon intervention
The Mom was sedated
Her eyes grew quite wide
And she said,
"Why it's time to get off of this ride.
I've been cleaning his messes
Since he was a tot
And all I have now
Is a son who's a sot.
What of my needs,
not thought of for years?
What of the long nights,
the pain and the tears?
I'll not do one more thing
For his drunken sake
Girls, let's go to the kitchen
I'll make some cheesecake!"

Ann

Owwwwie - I am laughing so hard it hurts :lol

smoke gets in my eyes

So off to the kitchen went Mom, Gabe and Ann,
forgetting to speak of the changes in plans
to the Codie Quintet, who had sighed and resumed,
their pant dropping plot... and they stalked the bathroom.