quitforme79

I had a medical procedure done Friday and still feeling the uncomfortable effects. My family and friends live 200+ miles away and I just feel so uncomfortable physically and mentally. I feel like I'm destined to be alone forever and it bothers me a lot today. Still getting over the break up with my ex who I moved to a new state for I talked with my therapist at our last session and she thinks I'm a little depressed. I didn't really believe that but I am starting to think she's right. It's been 15 days clean for me and today I really did want to drink. A lot. I know it's not an option. But it used to keep me occupied (numb) and passed the time (by making me pass out). I know alcohol wasn't a friend but it did anesthesize the loss and homesick feeling I have a bit. I am so glad for this forum because it makes me feel less alone. Sorry I'm not more positive today. I am staying on the sober journey, just needed to connect at SR...thanks for reading.

Dee74

I'm sorry you're feeling low today quitforme - I find that the difference between a good day and a good one is usually no more than 2 or 3.

I hope you feel less uncomfortable soon too

if you can't move back 'home' I hope you can start rebuilding some social connections soon

D

OwlFeathers

Way to go on 15 days! Sorry your feeling lonely. Can your therapist suggest any good places to meet people? Is there any way you can take a class in something that interest you and you could meet people with similar interest? Hang in there, the 16th day is right around the corner!

quitforme79

Thanks Dee. I am trying to get out there socially, not so sure I'm ready quite yet but at least I've been going to the gym, taking yoga...I'm bound to meet some good people eventually. Holidays don't help either. I'm trying to keep in that in mind too. Always a little more emo this time of year hehe

Cardinalfan

15 days is great! I suffer from depression and lonliness too. My family is spread out over Canada. I don't burden them with problems with alcohol, but I guess they suspect when I drunk dial them...It is very uncomfortable being sober and really facing your feelings, rather than anestisize them. My hope is that sticking with this sober gig is going to give me a little boost with my self esteem, since I have been beating myself down for so many years. And I know that it IS possible. I was sober for 8 years after I left my husband. I was a different person, in a very different place. Yes, it was lonely and I felt like an outsider for a very long time. I'm basically a shy person, and don't let people in very easily. I lost my fiance in a motorcycle accident 2004. Then my next love betrayed me, and that hurt worse than my divorce. I said what the hell, how much can I take.....that started a 3 year binge that I wish I never had started. Talk about misery and attracting drama???? I am the queen. This is day 7 for me. I don't want to fail again. I can't. I love my sobriety at what ever day it is. Embrace yours too. Sending good thoughts.

Anna

For sure some of the feelings we have are uncomfortable.

But, try to remember that they are just feelings. They don't control us. We have the ability to let them go.

Quitforme, your plan to get out and exercise sounds good.

quitforme79

Thanks Owlsong, and yes I have been on some social networking sites but I am not ready to participate quite yet...in time I'm sure I'll get back to being the social butterfly I was. @Cardinalfan, WOW you have been thru so much, I really admire your strength. My failed relationships with men always seem to get the best of me. I am just starting to realize that I choose people who need to be taken care of, often losing myself or rather neglecting myself in the process. I hope that by figuring that out, I can change the outcome of my next relationship by choosing someone who at least meets me halfway. Congrats on 7 days and I agree, ever day sober is wonderful, even on my loneliest of days. I never regret not drinking! ((hugs))