lor

for such along time i have been hiding all my shame bc when i get drunk i get sooooo drunk that i have literally got no idea what im doing. so i decided not to drink in public anymore and bc of this my husband who is not an alcoholic has been been drinking more cause im always buying him beer at the store, all cause i dont want to drink on my own. theres been days were i couldnt get out of bed bc i was just not hungover but actually withdrawing from alcohol so bad i was seeing things that werent there. and now even after just a few days the guilt is kicking in so bad i cant even look at my kids without wanting to cry bc i feel like a total disgrace to them and to us as a family!!! what do i do to make this stop????

Dee74

Hi lor

I think early recovery is an emotional rollercoaster for all of us.

Personally I think it's better to try and focus on what we're doing now than what we did then, y'know?

You're not alone - there's a lot of support here

D

Deserto

lor, don't be so hard on yourself. Recognize that these feelings of guilt and shame are also very much a symptom of withdrawal from alcohol. The thing you can do to make them stop is exactly what you are doing -- stopping drinking. The feelings will pass, and surely lessen in intensity. You're a good person for doing what you are doing. Hang in there. It does get better!

least

If you're still drinking - stop. If you've already stopped drinking - work on forgiving yourself and being the best person you can be. Actions speak louder than words. I too was ashamed of myself and the things I'd done while drinking but my addiction counselor was, and still is, very helpful in working thru my issues of shame and guilt.

Welcome to the family.

steelmagnolia

first and foremost...seek medical help and start detoxing. this is not something you should do without medical supervision. detox from alcohol can be fatal. forget about the shame/guilt etc. focus on what you must do! if your husband is supportive, he may wish to join you. that would be ideal. at any rate, you are in urgent need of medical detox. good luck.....mags

lor

i already detoxed actually it only lasted about 2 really bad days but today im much better but mentally im scared and worried i know this is only the beginning... but one day at a time!!

IndaMiricale

Hi good job , I am right with you over the past six months though i keep fallin. Lost yet another job that i really actually was enjoying.

Its is the beginning for something great , and lets rock it

Hey Steelie good to see you hug

WritingFool

((Lor)) Hang in there. It does get better.

ReadyAndAble

You've already solved the problem, you just don't know it yet. If you stay the course, then in a few months you will look back at this and realize something: the day you quit drinking was the day you started doing right by yourself and your children. You will be proud of what you did. And grateful. It's just hard to see in early sobriety. It takes a while for our self-perception to catch up with our new reality.

Early recovery is a leap of faith. Trust everyone here when they say you're doing great—and that it gets better.

instant

Emotions being all over the place is part of the stopping alcohol scenario in my experience

pikkle69

1st week, anxiety through the roof. Had to force myself to do anything at all but once I did, it really helped in taking my mind off of itself. Now I'm a house cleaning fool, probably getting a bit OC about it but right now, it's beats the alternative. Can't wait for my brain to re-wire because when it does, with the energy I have now, I'll really be kicking some ass! You will too, just hang in there, stay on this forum and keep up the communication.

camedown

Especially in the first couple months, just focus on the moment you are in. That really is the only thing you can control. Whether you can forgive yourself is something you should put on the back burner, that is why amends are step 9, not 1. For the moment, the past is the past, and beating yourself up over it will accomplish nothing positive. Give yourself time to heal, and eventually you will find the courage to step into that fear and shame. I wish you the best of luck.


camedown

SamanthaIam

What is helping me right now is to remember:

You can't do anything about the past, but you can change everything about today and the rest of your life.

Sometimes I get "flashbacks" to the terrible things I've done to my family (scaring them, upsetting them, neglecting them, embarrassing them) because of drinking. I wish I could erase all of that, but I can't. All I can do is be better NOW. And you know what? Even this early in my sobriety, without even discussing it with my family, they are appreciative and happier with me.