All in the family
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 164
All in the family
My son has a gf who is borderline alcoholic. His gf mother is a drug addict. That is why I let him borrow my Co-Dependant No More book. He is already busy doing for his gf what she should be doing for herself like making sure she gets up for work etc. I just HATE to see my son be like me. He says he is about 1/2 way through the book. I don't know if I should say to much about the situation. This is another situation I cannot control but I do want to give him some good advice without sounding to motherly if that makes sense.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Justlizzyd,
I found I had to separate the "mother and child" relationship from the Codependent behaviors.
My kids, unfortunately, are addicts and ACOA's, I can share my experience with them as an alcoholic and a codependent.
I am always checking my motives though. I can easily slip into "mommy" and want to fix it for them.
Sigh.........
Beth
I found I had to separate the "mother and child" relationship from the Codependent behaviors.
My kids, unfortunately, are addicts and ACOA's, I can share my experience with them as an alcoholic and a codependent.
I am always checking my motives though. I can easily slip into "mommy" and want to fix it for them.
Sigh.........
Beth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 164
True, wait for the question. We are going to lunch next week. Maybe it will be a good time for that. They are about to move in together after the first of the year. I'll just have to put that one in the God Box too.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
If he has any questions he will ask you. I read a book, I analyze what I read, I absorb what I choose to. My mother does not have to help me understand and interpert what I read.
If I need her input, I will ask her for it.
He is an adult, allow him to be one.
Just my 2 cents, do whatever makes you feel......in control.
If I need her input, I will ask her for it.
He is an adult, allow him to be one.
Just my 2 cents, do whatever makes you feel......in control.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 47
Here's my (adult) child's perspective as a codependent and ACA living with an addict, my brother.... as much as those who cared about me tried to advise me about what to do in my situation, until I was ready to see the reality of it, no advice mattered. Only hearing stories, doing steps and learning about addiction/codependancy helped clear the fog, and only when I chose it myself. Share your story with him, adult to adult, like Wicked said. "Attraction not promotion" is the key - let him want the serenity you've come to.
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