AndreTT

A high school buddy of mine invited me by text to a barbecue in his house this weekend. It's been months since the last time I've seen this guy. It would be nice to chat again.
But then he mentioned drinking. I told him upfront I wanst drinking anymore and he got quite shocked (I was the one who "introduced" him to alcohol years ago and we were drinking buddies for over three years). He then spent the next ten minutes frantically trying to convince me to drink.
I'm not afraid of going there and drinking I again, I wont. But I'm here thinking: should I be hanging around someone who just cant imagine me sober? Should I be hanging around an old drinking buddie?

probably no but I'd like to hear more opinions

suki44883

I vote no; especially since he spent 10 minutes frantically trying to convince you to drink. No one needs "friends" like that.

Tigger41

I vote no as well.

Dee74

Like others have said, I wouldn't spend anytime with this guy right now, Andre.

Have you other friends who'd be happy to go out for a movie or coffee or anything not centered around alcohol?

D

england

I would avoid this invite as you will putting yourself in a difficult position.

If I was in a room with cocaine and people were encouraging me to take a line that I doubt I could resist.

Why test yourself when you know the outcome could be very harmful to your recovery.

Scolova

I say 'no' as well, it'd only take one swig (one second to slip) and I'd end up drunk into next year.

Itchy

Andre I say we let him make that decision. I say you invite him over to your house instead for a non alcoholic barbecue for real. And then have one if he accepts, and tell him no booze for just in case either.

I doubt that he will accept but if he does you save an actual friendship not a mutual drunk support group.

If he doesn't then just let him know that you won't impose your life style decisions on him, and can't let anyone impose their's on you. That said nicely not in anger.

pikkle69

Saw a good friend of mine last night for the first time in 4 months, we've been drinking buddies for the last 12 years. I told him I wasn't drinking anymore and he was okay with it, no pressure at all. If he's a true friend, he'll understand. If not, he was just someone to drink with.

steelmagnolia

you know...the true answer is no. if you felt safe in your sober mind....there would be no question to pose. if you thought you felt uncomfortable with his 10 minute persuasion on the phone....imagine an in-person confrontation! we are all doing the best we can to stay on the sober path of life. why take a fork in the road that just might lead you back to an abyss? stay straight my friend...you know down deep...its the right thing to do. good luck and good love....mags

AOF

I would say NO..!!

I am nearly 7 years sober and still avoid people and gatherings that I think would make me uncomfortable..!

My pet hate is being on a night out with people who either ask WHY I dont drink (I still dont have an answer for that one for when I dont really want to tell people the real reason..!!) or being with people who try and push drink onto you.

Don't get me wrong, I dont't think I will drink but not going saves me the effort of going thenleaving early because I am not comfortable..!!

pikkle69

I hate to say it but I make up very dreadful lies about what a horrible person I become when I drink, just to scare them into not asking me questions like that.

Question: "Why'd you quit drinking?"
Answer: "Because I can never remember where I buried all the bodies."

least

I vote 'no' as well. Guy is too insistent on having it his way and trying to force you to drink.

steelmagnolia

lol at pikkle....i hate to say it but, i just tell the truth about what i become when drunk! i get left alone then!!

pikkle69

I just keep em guessing, gives me something to do besides drink!

Gabriel

I vote 'no' and here is why. I made it about 33 days w/o drinking. I was invited via a facebook IM to a party to discuss some artwork. I got there, and bam...had a beer in my hand and 33 days down the drain. I also had not seen this person in a long time but for me, my 33 days outweighed the rest. I'm just not strong enough yet and although we may keep saying, "I'm ready for this"...that crutch is always there.

Wishing you the best~Gabriel

AndreTT

I already decided not to go. Not only that, decided to not talk to him anymore.
Not just due to fear of slipping but also because the guy is acting strange...

soberlicious

Good on you Andre. If the guy is acting like a weirdo, it wouldn't be much fun anyway.

LOL pikkle I am so gonna steal that!!

TheTinMan

Sometimes after the original post there is a "Well I went, and I drank, but I only had two and I'm okay with that."

I'm glad you didn't go. Glad you stayed strong. You will find new buddies and new interest that don't involve drinking.