ninja

Argh....and I knew better! I just thought because we'd been friends since we were kids and I still care about him that because we'd been no contact for a long while, we could just have coffee. I've let go of control of his addiction long ago, and thought that he couldn't upset me. I've accepted that he may never recover, but it's his choice.

Coffee went fine, even though he was very sedated, he only stayed for an hour, and went home.

Then he showed up the next day. He was hiding beer cans in his pants, but I pretended not to notice. He went home after a visit with no problem.

Then he showed up the next day, asking if he could sweep up the leaves in the driveway for me because he knew I'm selling the house and it was showing. Nice, but when I went to find him, he was drinking in my car. He asked if he could come and shampoo the carpet for me today. "No thanks" I said. He said, "I'll call you"

Today he phones and asks to shampoo the carpet. " No thanks, I have a lot of appointments today" "I can clean the carpet myself on the weekend"

Here we go. " But I need money!" " I haven't been bugging you for ages and I spent all my money in a casino!" " Sorry", I said, I have no money to give you. He proceeded to scream so I hung up. But I forgot to lock the door. He rode right over on his brother's bicycle (this man is 54 yrs old) and said he needed his bike that he's had sitting in my workshop used for 10 years to pawn! Oh my god.

I'm so mad at myself! I'm right back in the chaos!!! I was peaceful before the first coffee! Will I never get it? No contact!

December2011

I think you learned your lesson!!!

I had to laugh at the fact that he rode his bike over there to get a 10 year old bike to pawn, and you thinking " here we go again!"

I mean no disrespect by cracking up, it is just that I can totally relate to that experience. I have to laugh at the craziness of it all.

It is easy to see how over time you felt better, and so there would be no harm in a having a cup of coffee. Although, I am sure that some where in the back of your mind you expected something weird to happen again.

I think you do get it, and learned another lesson. I would not be hard on yourself about that. It happens to all of us.

Take care

steelmagnolia

sorry sweetie...i know you are distraught. i hate to admit it but, your post made me laugh. i got a visual of this man hiding beer cans in his pants and then another of him riding his brother's bike to your house. it really is sad though, how far down a person will fall and continue to fall. i know your intentions were good and you were just trying to be a good person. but, there are people who we just cannot be honest friends with. they dont want that. he is a user and he is simply looking to use you further. get caller id if you dont already have it and dont answer that phone!!! best of luck....mags

ninja

Unfortunately, it gets even more amusing. Before I realized that he had beer in his pants, I remarked, " Wow, your Mom must be a good cook, you're getting a belly!" Good lord....what was I thinking living with this guy for seven years? You guys are so right..he never worked - he was always working on his recovery and not ready, I totally supported him - In reality, I guess I just took over for his Mommy and now he's back living with her again. At least she got a rest for a few years!

I will be using call display - and I'm moving to a place with a controlled entrance at the end of the month.

dollydo

Most important, you haved learned your lesson.

Enjoy your new home....your new life!

kiki5711

beer in his pants...

outtolunch

54 going on 14.

ninja

Interesting that you say that. 14 is the about the age we were when we first became friends. He was drinking and using drugs then. I guess he stayed that age. What they say about addicts remaining the mental age they were when they started abusing is so true.