fourmaggie

I appreciate my life fully now....i have learned so much in my recovery....most important thing...#1 is me....if i dont take care of me, who will?...

the present is always here in my home....

Impurrfect

(((fourmaggie))) - good point. Taking care of me was a foreign concept. Another thing I just had no clue of was when people would tell me to just "work through my feelings"...I totally felt like an idiot because I didn't know how.

Today, feelings don't scare me any more, and taking care of me is almost second nature, though I do slip back into codie-land occasionally. I just try to make it a really short visit

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

vujade

Thanks for posting this today. I still find myself occasionally falling into the "fast-forwarding the movie" trap when things get particularly stressful. It only serves to get me worked up about things that haven't even happened yet and sends me into a tailspin of control freakishness.

Impurrfect - I just read your JM quote and am reminded of something she quoted from another source. "We can't control the tide, but we can choose which waves we ride."

Again - thanks for posting this fourmaggie. I needed the reminder today.

m1k3

What has been working for me is when I catch myself starting to run in the hamster wheel is to meditate. I use the 'namu amida butsu'. That always brings me back to the here and now. I find myself becoming more and more attracted to pure land buddhism.

Your friend,

lillamy

Someone posted on another thread four words that make a great foundation for making poor decisions: Fear, Guilt, Pity, and Shame. All four of those, it strikes me, take you out of the moment and into either the future or the past.

Faith in every day. Faith in things being OK whether I know it or not. Enjoying the cup of coffee right in front of me. Enjoying the daily chores. All of those are good things. Good ways of enjoying the moment in the present instead of waiting for everything to be OK.

Everything is never going to be OK -- if you want to see it that way. It sounds negative, but there will always be something going on in my life. Waiting for perfection would mean I miss my entire life. Because life is filled with sloppy November Thursdays with a slight cough and wet socks. And that is the way it should be. And the way it is. And if I can't enjoy the moment, I won't enjoy.

Thank you for the reminder.

fourmaggie

nice feedback....

its funny, my best friend and i where talking and she is having "issues"..she keeped asking Y me? y that? why now?...and i asked her...youre in your present...stop focusing on that on the past( and forgive yourself)....you should be looking at the now...how would you change it for the future....

it may seems "simple" but she has that CODIE thing too....

Cyranoak

There's a now? ;-)

steelmagnolia

hey formaggie...high 5 girl. yes, i am...for the first time...taking care of ME. i am the most important person in my life. living in and for the NOW is one of the greatest tools i have acquired. it is just such an easy concept if you think about it...but, i could not manage it before sobriety. i do believe that freedom of the mind...from lies, guilt, shame...have allowed this to happen in my life. today, there is no need to look back or ahead...just breathe! good luck and good love....mags

fourmaggie

well i always say to my best friend......"well, we all have skeletons in our closet, its what you do with them. I for one, dance with mine.."

m1k3

Soup. A nice hearty soup.

Your friend,

fourmaggie

^^^ lmao

StarCat

I ran across this quote yesterday, and really started to think about it.

I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'What if life were fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
~Marcus Cole, Babylon 5


(Marcus Cole is a character on an old television series I used to enjoy. One of the things that sets him apart is that he is an endless optimist, but in a humorous way, rather than the kind that grates on one's nerves constantly. (Although I'm sure it does grate on the nerves of the characters around him upon occasion!) Listening to his character talk has always left me with a smile and a giant thought to ponder.)

nodaybut2day

Thank you for this lillamy...I needed it today, as the dark cloud was descending over my head. You've made me laugh

SoloMio

Oprah has this 6-word memoir challenge going on. You write your autobiography in six words. Sounded like a fun challenge so I started thinking about my life and how it's gone in wide swaths of what I consider kind of dark times followed by WONDERFUL light times (as in high school when I "woke up" from a miserable childhood).

Then I was thinking about my occupation, which I wanted to work into the six words--qualitative market research. I spend a lot of time in my job asking people Why? and Why not?

So here is my 6 word memoir, which seems to fit here--kind of goes with StarCat's quote:

fourmaggie

thanks for the feed back.....i was sick for a long time...now the fog has risen, and i am see this world a whole life...and i for one, am ready..

BecomingMe

Oooh, I am trying so hard to live in the now! Every time I catch myself having one of those imaginary arguments with imaginary or real foes (hope I am not the only one doing this!) in which you make up things to be upset about, well, I catch myself! And I look around for something calming, or a pleasant thought, and let a smile come to my face. Because I have a beautiful son, a job I love, a warm and (mostly) clean home. And I really feel betwixt and between the past few days: I just started maybe getting close to someone again (MAYBE, haha) while at the same time, ExAH missed his skype call with our son this weekend and seems to be off the radar. So in the middle of all this I have to try really hard to keep myself grounded and not go all codie on a new or an old relationship. WHEW!

Glad I dropped in here to see what was up -- always helps me straighten out my head!