Day 4 ...again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 129
Day 4 ...again
Hi everyone, time to introduce myself, I found this site in July and gave up drinking for three months. I don't even really know why I went back to the drink, I went out for dinner and thought a couple of glasses of wine with dinner would be ok, and it was ...for that night anyway, I quickly progressed to drinking nearly every night. I am just so disappointed in myself for drinking. But I'm ready to get back on the horse (so to speak).
I would have classed myself as a functioning alcoholic, but after the 3 months abstinence and how I was feeling without the drink, I wasn't functioning at all, I was only treading water(just).
No ones knows of my heavy drinking, I would be too ashamed to tell anyone, so here I am.
I'm scared but I'm ready.
I would have classed myself as a functioning alcoholic, but after the 3 months abstinence and how I was feeling without the drink, I wasn't functioning at all, I was only treading water(just).
No ones knows of my heavy drinking, I would be too ashamed to tell anyone, so here I am.
I'm scared but I'm ready.
MINEr
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 505
Welcome, a lot of good comes out of this place.
What you describe here is called a dry drunk, that is sobriety without recovery. At some point, a certain personality change has to take place to steer our neural pathways away from the parts of our brains activated by booze, the ones we light up so much when our disease is active. A recovery program's aim is to help in acheiving this personality change, it is what programs such as AA and Lifering are designed to do. I am in AA myself, and though under six months sober, I feel the change in me all ready. I do not crave the drink as much, and it gets lesser every day. This is because I worked the steps(and am still) honestly and thoroughly. Find a program that suits you well, and good luck.
camedown
Originally Posted by Elly40 
I would have classed myself as a functioning alcoholic, but after the 3 months abstinence and how I was feeling without the drink, I wasn't functioning at all, I was only treading water(just).
camedown
a southern belle
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: tennessee
Posts: 265
hey elly...and welcome. your words of honesty reinforce to me the truth of the aa saying..."alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful". your disease told you that a glass of wine would be fine. and, it was...for one night...cunning. you don't know why you started drinking again....baffling. you told yourself that you were functioning well with your active drinking...powerful. this is a place of haven for all types of broken and wounded souls. find a comfy place and stay with us...we will serve you well...if you let us. good luck and best wishes...mags
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
Hi Elly! Wonderful to have you here with us. SR saved me after I spent most of my life in a numb & foggy state. I did the same thing you did once - got sober & then thought I could manage it. For me, that'll never be an option. I didn't understand it wasn't a matter of willpower. Not sure I'd have come to that conclusion without my friends here.
You have a good outlook, Elly - don't be scared. You have us, and we understand just how you feel.
You have a good outlook, Elly - don't be scared. You have us, and we understand just how you feel.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Congrats Elly
4 days will become 4 weeks, then 4 months, then 4 years .....
Thanks to sober recovery I'm 58 days off crack, so keep posting. Lots of people here who care and help.
neferkamichael
Thanks to sober recovery I'm 58 days off crack, so keep posting. Lots of people here who care and help.
neferkamichael
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
