TimFoot

So I went to my first AA meeting Sunday night. I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a snob but I was very creeped out by some of the people there. Now don’t get me wrong because I don’t think I am above anyone. It was in a church basement and the format was they handed out playing cards and depending on your card you went into a smaller group of about 9 and the discussion topic that night was service. Since I didn’t know what was going on I really couldn’t contribute, but I did find the people to be very friendly although some of the regulars made occasional inside jokes about each other that baffled those of us who were new. They talked about how their service includes making the coffee and cleaning up afterward, along with how presenting their stories to others is a form of service. (On a lighter note, I kind of chuckled to myself about the coffee..on every tv show where you see a character go to a meeting, there’s always coffee being drank from Styrofoam cups – is this some kind of bylaw with AA or something? I mean the meeting lasted 40 minutes. You can’t go without coffee for that long?) Has anybody had an experience where it takes a few different meetings to find a group you feel “right” with? Some of the participants there were so twitchy and had such a haunted look in their eyes that I felt very uncomfortable. Please feel free to tell me I am an a*shole for saying this. I can take it!

PaperDolls

You're not an a-hole - most alcoholics that are miserable and dying have a haunted look in their eye. If you stick around you'll get to see people get better. That look in their eye will go away.

Absolutely, go to many different group to find one that you like and feel comfortable in. Each group is different and the meeting formats are just a little different everywhere. If you haven't had a first step meeting, you should ask about at your next meeting. Good stuff.

Congrats on getting your your first meeting! I know how scary it can be.

omegasupreme

Not all meetings are created equal.

tellme1

Tim, I've been going to aa meetings daily for a little over a week. I live in Indianapolis and there are tons of meetings all over the area. Each day I look in the directory for meetings and find a different meeting to go to. I have already found a couple of places I won't go back to - and like you - not to sound snobby - I didn't fit in at one meeting where it was all people of the 'redneck persuasion' if you will. The other one I didn't care for was where there was alot of inside joke stuff going on and I didn't feel very welcomed. BUT! Most of the meetings I've went to so far were filled with warm, welcoming people that have been truly inspiring to me and what I'm trying to accomplish with sobriety. I highly recommend you try out different meetings to see what's out there. Best of luck!

Saliena

Yeah not all meetings are created equal. My first meeting was at a detox center (I wasn't in the center it just happened to be close to my house and the first meeting I found). I can also I thought of some of the people as creepy.. those inside the center as well as outside the center. But, the more I keep coming back... the more I really started to get to know these people and honestly developed a soft spot in my heart for them.

Now I go to several different meetings.. a all womens meeting in a richer part of town... different type of drinker then the people at skid row at the detox center.All with the same problem... it is cunning and baffling.

Go to several types of meetings.... and find what fits you!

BadCompany

21 years in AA and I still don't like coffee. Yep, It took a few tries to find meetings where I felt comfortable. I probably would have felt at home in the meeting you were at.

camedown

No coffee here either. After getting comfortable in meetings, Iactually seek out meetings that make me feel uncomfortable. It helps me truly appreciate and respect what an indescriminate killer alcohol is. Whether it is a meeting of rich people or one filled with half homeless, there is one common thread, were screwed, and meetings is the best way out. Find a home group you truly feel comfortable in, and then branch out to broaden you education and respect for the disease.

camedown

Spiderkitty

There a mounds and heaps of meetings in Phila. So keep shopping because there is something for everyone. I worked there in the late eighties and made a brief stint in AA in '89. I was an "affluent" looking, well educated southern chick going in Center City. I loved it as they were the same types and varieties i met walking down the street. however, I wasn't through drinking. And there were the usual freaks, leches, know-it-alls and lots of folks from the recently closed state psychiatric hospital. And it was in a church basement with giant coffee urns and styrofoam cups and the also ubiquitous self-styled, personalized coffee mug sages. The great thing was my speech made me stick out like a soar thumb!
I was pickier about who I drank with than those with me at meetings, but I can swat a fly with the best of them and still can! The difference in Personalities hasn't stumbled or confused me out of getting what I needed. I would imagine if we of this website met in person it would be interesting! Moreover, I have made dear friends in AA and never had a drink during a single meeting. If you don't count tea & coffee!

Spiderkitty

Oh yes, if you haven't wanted to throttle a few people at a meeting, you need to get around to more!

littlefish

What I like about AA is that you can find so many different kinds of meetings despite the format being essentially the same. I can go to a rich part of town where people are dressed well and look healthy, and the crowd is sprinkled with celebs, or I can go to one close to the detox center and the park bench crowd and find well, a whole different kind of meeting.
I will echo the comments that others have made: try out more than just one or two meetings. I have a meeting I go to 10 minutes from my house and a couple I go to in the city and I go to a new one further out in the burbs. They are all quite different.
Remember too that there are speaker meetings, step meetings, open and closed meetings, men's meetings, women's meetings, youth meetings, and some cities have gays meetings. Most cities have AA meetings posted on the internet describing what the meeting is about.

Tippingpoint

I went to one meeting early on and had that same "I don't belong here experience".

However, when I thought about it afterwards it sort of made sense. The meeting that I went to was on a Friday afternoon at about noon. The people at the meeting reflected that - quite a few old timers, quite a few young adults that may have been unemployed and for which the church on the subway line was a very convenient meeting.

I didn't really fit with either group.

I had originally said that I would try to do an evening meeting at another time but just never went back.

flamingredhair

I'm an agnostic so I'm a bit unsure of AA. I went to a couple of meetings in 2006 and felt very out of place. And the whole "God" thing - I just couldn't connect with it. On Friday however, I am starting a 20 day treatment program built upon the 12 steps. I was advised to, "Take what you need and leave the rest." Since it's my intention to remain sober this time I am going to go in with an open mind.

TimFoot

When I went it didn't help that the guy next to me was wearing such a strong cologne that it was burned into my nostrils for two days later!

eJoshua

Hey TimFoot

Meetings vary quite a bit. I feel the same way you describe about some of the meetings I've visited. Do some searching and you'll find a group that works for you.