CrazyGirl

I'm sorry for being stupid I'm sorry for talking about him when it's about me. I freaked out on my boyfriend last night because he picked me up high and I knew he was taking the pills to wean off but he was clearly high. I left when we got to his moms instead of staying the night. I stopped by before work I dont know why. At work he said he cut his hand yesterday. It was a small cut but there was a small dot next to it and it was raised around it. My guess is the beginning of yet another absess. Little marks like small bug bite marks all over his arms surrounding the old ugly track marks. He said they were bug bites. Please try not to laugh at me. On my way out the door was the cigeratte with no filter. I was so angry and hurt. He has no money left from work but I have a cute pair of superwoman fuzzy dice hanging in my rear view mirror that he bought I'm sure to cover the guilt. I know it's worse than I know and I said a lot of hateful things to him which no matter what I shouldn't of said but now this is all my fault in his words. He's letting me go I don't care because I already know it has to end it's just so hard saying goodbye to memories and dreams.

Ann

Crazygirl, when I was fighting a good case of the stupids, I found that a good meeting could help me find my balance quicker than anything. I found support there, and a she-devil sponsor with a heart bigger than Texas who called me on my BS any time I tried to slip one past her, and most of all I found peace because I was reminded that I wasn't crazy, or stupid...I was codependent and there was hope for a better way.

Find yourself a meeting girl, I promise you will be glad you did.

Hugs

Kindeyes

I'm going to ditto what Ann said. I know I'd be in the nuthouse if I didn't have my meetings, literature, meditation, yoga, etc. All of those things are for me. To keep me calm. To help me maintain my serenity as the insanity goes on around me.

You're in my prayers today.

gentle hugs
ke

hopeful0323

Crazygirl,

Oh boy have i been in your shoes, not too long ago either. I agree with Ann. Please find a meeting, you will find peace and serenity there. It was the only way I could escape from the chaos and get my head clear.

lesliej

dreams and memories are yours, you can carry them with you wherever you go. with some honesty and willingness to work on your own self you will become whole hearted and happier...whole hearts are good places for dreams to grow. whole hearts attract and are attracted to other whole hearts and together then dreams can become reality.

addict hearts use dreams to try to keep love around...but they very rarely become reality...just broken promises and illusion.

commit to living your dream. make a promise to your own heart to love it til its whole! don't keep giving it piece by piece to an addict to use.
you'll find you won't trust yourself because you've given your heart to someone you cant trust. Peace.