Flowing with the Downward Spiral...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 139
Flowing with the Downward Spiral...
Well, things are going in one direction. Straight down.
As of Saturday, Whiskey (that mother-effer), is back in the picture. *sigh* I was just waiting for it to happen, so at least it was expected. The blinders are off.
AH called in today, and started off the day at 7:30am with a trip to the store for wine. I will be utterly astonished if his employment lasts the week. He was on shaky ground already for lateness. He's been passed out since I got home. Willing to bet he won't be going in tomorrow. If he even has anywhere to go in to.
Our rent check bounced today. As expected. That happens when the money goes to booze instead of rent. I don't get paid again until next week, and I'm not expecting any help from AH this week. So, we may possibly be looking at eviction. I wouldn't be suprised. Our landlord is VERY "to the letter" on our lease.
Thankfully, today was Al-Anon meeting day, so that was very helpful for me. I needed it. Funny how the topics, and the things people choose to share always seem to be just right.
I'm at peace with things, and am letting events unfold as they may. I have a plan.
I'm going to work, and taking my S(2) to daycare, and doing the best I can to keep it all going for he and I.
I am sticking to my boundaries, and will be calling 911 if AH gets in the car drunk when I'm around.
I am also making plans for when our lease is up, he goes to jail for his 3rd dui, or we get evicted. Whatever comes first.
I'm not sure if I'll go home to family 2 hours away, or try to get an apt. here on my own. Rent is high in the big city, and I'm 100% sure I'd be paying daycare on my own too. We'll see.
Thanks for reading.
As of Saturday, Whiskey (that mother-effer), is back in the picture. *sigh* I was just waiting for it to happen, so at least it was expected. The blinders are off.
AH called in today, and started off the day at 7:30am with a trip to the store for wine. I will be utterly astonished if his employment lasts the week. He was on shaky ground already for lateness. He's been passed out since I got home. Willing to bet he won't be going in tomorrow. If he even has anywhere to go in to.
Our rent check bounced today. As expected. That happens when the money goes to booze instead of rent. I don't get paid again until next week, and I'm not expecting any help from AH this week. So, we may possibly be looking at eviction. I wouldn't be suprised. Our landlord is VERY "to the letter" on our lease.
Thankfully, today was Al-Anon meeting day, so that was very helpful for me. I needed it. Funny how the topics, and the things people choose to share always seem to be just right.
I'm at peace with things, and am letting events unfold as they may. I have a plan.
I'm going to work, and taking my S(2) to daycare, and doing the best I can to keep it all going for he and I.
I am sticking to my boundaries, and will be calling 911 if AH gets in the car drunk when I'm around.
I am also making plans for when our lease is up, he goes to jail for his 3rd dui, or we get evicted. Whatever comes first.
I'm not sure if I'll go home to family 2 hours away, or try to get an apt. here on my own. Rent is high in the big city, and I'm 100% sure I'd be paying daycare on my own too. We'll see.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Hi Caged Bird!
Yep, I lived in Austin 10 years ago and the rent was definetly high!!
One thing that I learned early on in Al-anon was that it was not only okay, but it is necessary, for me to take care of myself and my children. I learned to do what I need to do to protect ME. My husband at the time LOVED to go bar hopping. He LOVED to be Mr. Nice Guy and would always open a tab... using our JOINT DEBIT CARD!! Eeekers! He could spend some serious money every night. Week after week, month after month - I diligently put my money in the joint account - and he would go ahead and spend, spend, spend. I would cry, scream, beg, plead for him to stop - "Don't you see what you are doing to us!?!?" I couldn't pay the mortgage, I couldn't buy groceries.. I was going without all sorts of stuff - b/c of his reckless behavior.
My very first boundary was that I would make sure that I had a roof over my head, a light and heat in my house, and food on my table - always. And I would do what I needed to do to make sure that happened. For me - that meant opening up my own account and putting that money aside to make sure I could pay MY bills. As for the joint account - well - AH did as he pleased and when the money ran out - it was HIS bills that didn't get paid. A few months later - when he was about to lose his motorcycle - the reckless spending stopped.
Taking care of me - and putting MY needs first covers a lot of aspects of life. I need to take care of my spiritual being, my emotional being, my HUMAN being (eat, sleep, exercise!), and my financial being. For so long, I had worked overtime taking care of everybody else - I barely took care of my human being, let alone all those other aspects of me. One day at a time - little my little - I get better at it.
thanks for letting me share!
Shannon
Yep, I lived in Austin 10 years ago and the rent was definetly high!!
One thing that I learned early on in Al-anon was that it was not only okay, but it is necessary, for me to take care of myself and my children. I learned to do what I need to do to protect ME. My husband at the time LOVED to go bar hopping. He LOVED to be Mr. Nice Guy and would always open a tab... using our JOINT DEBIT CARD!! Eeekers! He could spend some serious money every night. Week after week, month after month - I diligently put my money in the joint account - and he would go ahead and spend, spend, spend. I would cry, scream, beg, plead for him to stop - "Don't you see what you are doing to us!?!?" I couldn't pay the mortgage, I couldn't buy groceries.. I was going without all sorts of stuff - b/c of his reckless behavior.
My very first boundary was that I would make sure that I had a roof over my head, a light and heat in my house, and food on my table - always. And I would do what I needed to do to make sure that happened. For me - that meant opening up my own account and putting that money aside to make sure I could pay MY bills. As for the joint account - well - AH did as he pleased and when the money ran out - it was HIS bills that didn't get paid. A few months later - when he was about to lose his motorcycle - the reckless spending stopped.
Taking care of me - and putting MY needs first covers a lot of aspects of life. I need to take care of my spiritual being, my emotional being, my HUMAN being (eat, sleep, exercise!), and my financial being. For so long, I had worked overtime taking care of everybody else - I barely took care of my human being, let alone all those other aspects of me. One day at a time - little my little - I get better at it.
thanks for letting me share!
Shannon
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
My dad used to live in Austin.. what a wonderful city, I loved walking next to the river, very relaxing.... I like their love for sports and the Whole Markets food store, very healthy lifestyle...
Perhaps you could move with the family temporarily, save some $ (and get some company/support!) and when possible, move to an apartment you can afford...?
All the best ((hugs))
Perhaps you could move with the family temporarily, save some $ (and get some company/support!) and when possible, move to an apartment you can afford...?
All the best ((hugs))
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