My First AL-Anon Meeting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 4
My First AL-Anon Meeting
Hey all,
So last night I attended my first Al-Anon meeting b/c there aren't any Nar-Anon meetings around where I live. It was pretty cool, except a bit discouraging... here is why... Not one person had a wedding ring on, and they all talked about exs. So my wife is in recovery for Sub./Ambien, she started with pain pills, and now I'm a bit discouraged as to if it's even worth staying by her side or leaving her all together.
A lot of really interesting people in the group, but I'm a bit concerned if these stories of Alcoholism and Narcotic addictions end with anyone being married. My wife, I think for the most part is afraid that I'll meet someone during one of my Nar-Anon or AL-Anon meetings and develop a relationship so she tries to block me from going.
What is your take on this? Anyone still married or made it past the 'detachment' NA recovery part? I do think NA is very flawed, especially by telling people that are already selfish and self-centered, that their recovery needs to be selfish as well. That's like giving a kid a basket of candy and telling them to only eat one piece while you're away.
So last night I attended my first Al-Anon meeting b/c there aren't any Nar-Anon meetings around where I live. It was pretty cool, except a bit discouraging... here is why... Not one person had a wedding ring on, and they all talked about exs. So my wife is in recovery for Sub./Ambien, she started with pain pills, and now I'm a bit discouraged as to if it's even worth staying by her side or leaving her all together.
A lot of really interesting people in the group, but I'm a bit concerned if these stories of Alcoholism and Narcotic addictions end with anyone being married. My wife, I think for the most part is afraid that I'll meet someone during one of my Nar-Anon or AL-Anon meetings and develop a relationship so she tries to block me from going.
What is your take on this? Anyone still married or made it past the 'detachment' NA recovery part? I do think NA is very flawed, especially by telling people that are already selfish and self-centered, that their recovery needs to be selfish as well. That's like giving a kid a basket of candy and telling them to only eat one piece while you're away.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 265
I am glad you went to a F2F meeting. Sorry it wasn't real good for you. But you need to go to at least 6. They change different people and different subjects talked about. You might try a different group next time. I am married, I go to nar-anon. We have several couples that are regulars in the group. We also have a NA meeting that happens down stairs at the same time. I always leave the meeting with a new little bit of knowledge and feel real good.
Oh please go to a NA meeting. I know a lot and I mean a lot of them that are in recovery and doing very well. They will welcome you with open arms. You have a misconception of NA. I am going to attend a NA marathon in St louis this month.
It's not selfish, it is to do for there selves. For only they can do it, and you can't do it for them. it like leaving the candy in the house and the kid finding on her own.
keep going to meetings, take you AW to a NA meeting and go out with some of them after to get some coffee.
Be well,
Oh please go to a NA meeting. I know a lot and I mean a lot of them that are in recovery and doing very well. They will welcome you with open arms. You have a misconception of NA. I am going to attend a NA marathon in St louis this month.
It's not selfish, it is to do for there selves. For only they can do it, and you can't do it for them. it like leaving the candy in the house and the kid finding on her own.
keep going to meetings, take you AW to a NA meeting and go out with some of them after to get some coffee.
Be well,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: at the beach
Posts: 339
sozeone,
welcome to SR. i have been away for a while from SR due to not having a computer handy, but wanted to reply to your post. like you at times i feel discouraged by most people not staying in the relationships. i only went to one alanon meeting back in aug of 2010 and i wasn't quite impressed either. i know that they help many and i might have just been in the wrong group, but still i haven't been to any since.
my husband has been using cocaine for several years now and in march of this year i have finally had enough and left w/ our kids. for all these months i have been holding on to some hope of us coming back together and working things out, but lately it seems harder to hang onto hope. after almost 8 months, nothing has changed from what i can see and some of the things have actually gotten worse.
i am not sure about your situation, but i am now beginning to understand why there aren't many people still married or committed to their spouses. deep down, i still hope that it is not too late, but like you also not sure if hoping is worth it.
not sure if i answered any of your questions, but wanted to reply anyway. thank you for letting me vent.
good luck to you and your family.
welcome to SR. i have been away for a while from SR due to not having a computer handy, but wanted to reply to your post. like you at times i feel discouraged by most people not staying in the relationships. i only went to one alanon meeting back in aug of 2010 and i wasn't quite impressed either. i know that they help many and i might have just been in the wrong group, but still i haven't been to any since.
my husband has been using cocaine for several years now and in march of this year i have finally had enough and left w/ our kids. for all these months i have been holding on to some hope of us coming back together and working things out, but lately it seems harder to hang onto hope. after almost 8 months, nothing has changed from what i can see and some of the things have actually gotten worse.
i am not sure about your situation, but i am now beginning to understand why there aren't many people still married or committed to their spouses. deep down, i still hope that it is not too late, but like you also not sure if hoping is worth it.
not sure if i answered any of your questions, but wanted to reply anyway. thank you for letting me vent.
good luck to you and your family.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: murrieta, ca
Posts: 18
I attended an al anon meeting last night. It was a speaker meeting, it was a couple that spoke. I gained so much hope as each one of them told us how they have their program, and they have both been going to meetings (aa & al anon) for nearly 40 years. I gained a lot of understanding & hope listening to each of them speak. It works... I saw proof last night... I understand my "part" in the craziness, I understand I need to take care of me, & my husband is taking care of himself.
I learned that these programs, the steps, all of it, it's a way of life. So I'm learning a new way... I don't want to continue the way things were. Now, both of us are in recovery. It might take a while, but I think it will be worth it.
I actually had a good experience at my first al anon meeting, & I was also told to go to at least 6. I've found a few that I really like, at least one a week, more if I can... If you can, try again, it helps.
I learned that these programs, the steps, all of it, it's a way of life. So I'm learning a new way... I don't want to continue the way things were. Now, both of us are in recovery. It might take a while, but I think it will be worth it.
I actually had a good experience at my first al anon meeting, & I was also told to go to at least 6. I've found a few that I really like, at least one a week, more if I can... If you can, try again, it helps.
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