TimFoot

47 yr-old married male here, with an 8 yr-old son and a wife. Like most of the people on this group I am sure, my drinking started out reasonably and then deteriorated to the point where on weekends I was waking up, craving alcohol right out of bed. That is when I knew I had to start thinking about quitting. The other time I have tried to quit it wouldn't last more than a few hours, then I'd be taking occasional nips from my hidden bottles of vodka and actually had myself convinced I was able to function, and in many ways I did, including food shopping, going to my son's baseball games buzzed, etc. I need someone to tell me that as painful as the physical cravings are that it will get better over time. I can't stand the nervous, anxious feelings, the burning in my belly and legs that liquor would numb. I did take a Benadryl which seems to have taken the edge off, but is that wise? I would very much appreciate the help of this group to tell me that it will get better, that I can enjoy life without booze. I want to be able to go to a social occasion or to a family dinner and not be numb and be able to be fully "present". I think it's the inability to feel relaxed without booze that got me on this path, and now even when I am heavily buzzed I just get bummed and depressed that I had to do that to myself to get through the day. I want to be able to sit on a couch and watch a dumb tv show without feeling restless.

Anna

Hi and Welcome, Tim,

Yes, it does get better.

Many of us start drinking to self-medicate our way through life's ups and downs. It's an empty and sad way to live and I'm glad that you have decided to stop drinking.

It's always a good idea to talk to your dr before you stop drinking because detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous. But, the physical symptoms do go away before too long and you will start to feel better.

I am not always comfortable in social situations now, but it's a small price to pay for the joy of living a sober life.

Dee74

Welcome Tim

I think if your life revolved around alcohol as much as mine did it's going to take a little time to readjust. I drank for 20 years - thankfully it didn't take that long for me to adjust....but it did take longer than days....

You'll find a lot of support here.

Anna's advice about the Dr is spot on, and I'd also add I think seeing a Dr about your anxiety and restlessness would be better than Benadryl - it's probably time to move away from self medication

D

omenapt

welcome to SR!
you might want to consider medical attention from the little bit you have described your drinking habits. Detoxing cant be quite dangerous. Craving alcohol in the a.m. is a pretty good sign for the need to stop. (there is a running thread right now on A.M. drinking you should read). As you approach 50 yrs old, this kind of drinking can be quite dangerous and we dont recover from hangovers, in fact as mentioned before they really arent hangovers anymore, just various stages of withdrawal..please be careful and consider going to an AA meeting. In Philly there must be hundreds in the area! Good Luck!! tcor>muigndsous.quitrti

Eliasson

I'm not very far into my sobriety, but I can already tell you that it definitely gets better. And it will take time, but you will eventually feel pretty comfortable in social situations without alcohol. And, you will be fully present and remember everything that happened! This is a wonderful site with so many warm, supportive people. Welcome!

painterman44

hi tim
im new to forum as well,i've been sober since jan 09
i remember well what you are describing.
Alcohol totally humiliated me in all aspects of life.
what your feeling is all part of the disease,please seek help
from your doctor,people die because they don't want to admit
they have a problem,contact your local aa group and you can turn
things around ,all the best.

cuyootoo

Excellent decision to quit drinking. YES, it does get a lot better with time. After a month you should be feeling good if you are able to recover psychologically through social interaction with other alcoholics. You can burn off a lot of that anxiety through physical exertion. I refuse to let myself be my own enemy, I take those negative anxious, self hating thoughts captive. I don't give them any place. Having lost everything, I don't have anything else to loose. It's all gravy now. I get to decide how to live my life because I am sober.

TimFoot

Thank you all. I will call my doctor Monday morning for an appointment. This is bringing me back to how I felt when I quit smoking. There is such a routine and habit to it (dinner's over, so light up) that it took a while to forget I once was a smoker. I keep catching myself thinking to myself, "Oh, it's Saturday night. Once the chores are done it's time to sit down to a cocktail". Tonight I think a hot bath is in order (just wish it was a jacuzzi!)

bigguyslimm

Hey welcome and best of luck to you.

least

Welcome to the family. We're a very supportive lot, we are.

Dee74

Welcome to you too painterman
feel free to start your own thread if you like too

D

Hooped

After many attempts trying to extract myself from the horrorshow of alcoholism I currently have 96 days sober and I can tell you, yes it does get better!

The cravings were very hard at first but now I find myself going through an entire day sometimes without even thinking about booze at all.

It was very important to me to have a 'plan'.

I watch my diet.. eating smaller healthier meals and take vitamins daily as religiously as brushing my teeth.

Seeing a addiction counselor and attending AA meetings helps me stay sober.

No matter what happens in life...drinking can no longer be an option for me...it was killing me.

Good luck!

instant

Tim. I used to feel anguish, dread, restlessness and the waves of cravings held in in their thrall. The ideas I used to have when this was happening was insanity even though to all intents and purposes I was a normal middle aged suburban guy.

I am here to tell you it all goes away and you can find peace and contentment.

How could I ever live without alcohol?

Quite easily as it turns out. Try it and see!!

DarkDays

Iam about the same age as you and your post is much like myself, I have just relapsed after another 20 days, but I can tell you this place and the people that post here are a godsend.

TimFoot

Hang in there DarkDays. And don't beat yourself up over it. I am sure there are many long-sober people here who have had slipups

soberlicious

yes, yes, and yes again. It gets better. You can absolutely enjoy life without booze. I can't even begin to tell you the "buzz" I get off living life without it.

Hang in and hang on.

TimFoot

Thanks! Can you tell me why and how it feels better? Were you also someone who looked forward to unwinding at night with alcohol? Who didn't feel "relaxed" without it? Can you feel relaxed now?

omenapt

you will have redefine your meaning of "relax". Whats relaxing for me now is NOT waking up on the weekends craving alcohol, not sitting on my butt all day Saturday numbed ("relaxed") to absolutely everything around me. So its more about peace of mind rather than relaxation that i am striving for. I wont kid you though, after work on the weekdays is tough.Physcial excertion will normally take care of that. For social gatherings, i am now becoming the listener and nodder, not the attention grabber. i suppose thats relaxing as i dont have to make up small talk which is stressful.

Tommy2

Welcome Tim, good to see you here!!!

I'm a firm believer that things WILL get better with time. I'm also a firm believer that things will get WORSE with time if we don't stop!!!

I'm a newbee too, so were in this boat togther!!!

Lots off success around here we need to feed off of...we can do it!!!

See ya around!!!

Tom

Terminally Unique

TimFoot,

Thinking about quitting isn't going to cut it. It is essentially a leap of faith, a hope for the future, but you need to decide whether or not drinking is an option for you anymore. If you vacillate back and forth, you will probably obsess about it non-stop, which will drive you insane. Once you remove the option of drinking entirely, however, you can move forward. When you are ready, make a plan to never drink again, set your confidence level arbitrarily at 100%, and recognize any self-doubt as your addiction talking. It will be a rough ride for a bit, but at around 90 days of abstinence, you will probably feel like a new man.