kidden

Hi
Its my first time here, and I am looking for some support. I have been living with an alcoholic husband for 7 years, we have a 5yo girl together, and I have a 10 yo girl from a previous relationship.

My husbands drinking has been out of control for a few years now, and I have been stuck in the rollercoaster of covering up, making excuses, taking all responsibilities for finances, kids etc - well my husband has been working away for the last 6 months, hes been home for 1 week in all that time, and his drinking has been getting worse and worse. We fight on the phone all the time, I call him names tell him hes irresponsible, that I feel let down, betrayed blah blah.

Anyway he texts me 5 days ago to tell me that I am right he is selfish and a liar and he needs to sort himself out and regain some "normality", then he phones me the next morning to inform me that he has met someone else, it was "spontaneous", and its over.

No contact since then, he has disconnected his mobile, closed bank accounts and not contacted the kids, I have been left with a big mortgage, no money in the bank and feeling like crap, as well as sitting next to the phone waiting for him to call.

In desperation I found this place, maybe it will bring me some relief, my head hurts from trying to sort out this financial mess I've been left with, as well as fielding the questions from the kids as to why daddy hasnt phoned.

Thanks for listening

LifeRecovery

Kidden-

I am sorry for the reason that got you here, but glad you find this sight.

There will be others soon.

I was in a similar situation to you, and I just want to say that Al-anon really helped me. It is a program for friends and family of alcoholics and it not only helped me deal with my ex's drinking problem but the affair he had that ended our relationship.

Keep posting!

Sending kind thoughts your way.

CagedBird

So sorry to hear what you and your kids are going through.

dollydo

Welcome, sorry that you are having to deal with your husband.

Since he has been gone for 6 months, I would not believe him when he is says he has just met his new main squeeze. Alcoholics lie, then they lie some more.

If you are not working I'd suggest that you secure one. I would also move any money in your joint accounts out and open a new account in your name only. Then, I would consult an attorney, most offer free consultation, learn where you stand in this marriage.

Finally, get to some Alanon meetings, they will help. Be proactive, don't sit around waiting for a miracle, get moving forward, for you and your children.

catlovermi

Yep, my first thought was see an attorney about your custody rights if he has abandoned the family. Strike while the iron is hot on the custody and filing for child support.

I'm so sorry to hear of these circumstances; your 10 year old daughter has had a lot of upheaval in her short life.

Welcome!

CLMI

laurie6781

Yep contact an attorney, get a 'temporary' child support order, and have it forwarded to his employer to be taken out of his paycheck for a start.

And as said above any monies still in joint accounts, move to a new account you open.

I am sorry you are going through this, but glad that you found us.

Feel free to rant, rave, scream, cry and even laugh. We are here for you.

Love and hugs,

marie1960

Welcome kidden,

So very sorry to hear what you are living at this time.

Getting to an attorney ASAP, filing for temporary support for you and the kids will help relieve the financial stress, allowing you to concentrate on your emotional status.

I just cringe when I read stories like yours. I feel your pain. Please know this other woman is going to be living the same hell you did. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

All you can do is put one foot in front of the other and go forward and live the life that awaits you. We will be here for you.

Hugs to you and your kids. Take care of you.

Tessaz

Wow, truely sorry to hear that. I thought my situation was bad. I have been told by lots of people "you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved". His loss I say. Hang in there, I hope you can find some happiness soon! Be strong :-)