losing potential
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: sunbury ohio
Posts: 11
losing potential
ima be real with you. ok im 17 y/o. ive been clean for 52 days. im a junior in hs. susposed to be a senior but im not because of my decisions with drugs. ive been an addict since 5th grade. i started out huffing what ever i knew i could get high of of. i would sit and smell sharpees and glues for hours. the i tried coke for the first time in 6th grade. the drank for the first time in 7th grade and bought pot in 8th grade for the first time and got caught with it. the school expelled me and i got charges on me which were possession. the i came back that year and i beat the living **** out of this kid.to be honest i stabbed him all becuase my drug addiction. i got expeled again for remainder of the year. and more charges assualt. so i came back and repeated 8th grade. i started poppin pills. addys were my favorite. 5 25mg and i was good. then all high school i keep smoking weed and drinking. 53 days ago i smoke spice k2/k3. i came home higher than ive ever been and my mom called the sheriffs on me. i went to jail at night and a morning. i got more charges. unruly and inhaling dangerous intoxicants. none of this scares me. not the jail not the death or be able to overdose. some times i wish i would of along time ago. . im scared that none of this scares me. and im so willing to risk it all again and go back to misery cuz im miserable now. i dont have a god i dont have nothing. i have alot but not wat i need
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
I think for everybody there comes a time when you have to decide what you want your life to be like ZACHk.
You obviously want change or you wouldn't be here posting.
I think supports very important - it can be very lonely when we first change our lives.
There's a lot of support here but there are other avenues too.
If you've tried counselling, and you're not in the idea of a Higher Power, there are alternatives to AA - SMART and AVRT come to mind....both are secular in nature.
There's also rehab - would that be an option?
D
You obviously want change or you wouldn't be here posting.
I think supports very important - it can be very lonely when we first change our lives.
There's a lot of support here but there are other avenues too.
If you've tried counselling, and you're not in the idea of a Higher Power, there are alternatives to AA - SMART and AVRT come to mind....both are secular in nature.
There's also rehab - would that be an option?
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
Oh Zach you don't have to keep going like this. You are so young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. You said you are "losing potential" but you don't have to. It must feel so overwhelming right now but you must want a different life even a little because you did reach out here. You don't have to do this alone there are so many different avenues of help for you, so many people who are willing to help you and who care, including the people on this site. Can you talk to your parents or another trusted adult? Is rehab an option for you? Life is so much better when you are not under the influence of drugs and alcohol, I promise. It is hard to take that first step and ask for help but you CAN do this. At the very least please keep reading and posting here, we want to help.
Ned Wicker
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 8
So sad!
Hi Zackz,
Your story is sad sad and so common. Without God nothing has any value and it's not surprising you don't FEEL anything. The fact that you mentioned not having a God in this post makes me think you are thinking about God. Remember God loves you and WANTS a relationship with. Lean toward him and you may be surprised how much better you'll be.
Your story is sad sad and so common. Without God nothing has any value and it's not surprising you don't FEEL anything. The fact that you mentioned not having a God in this post makes me think you are thinking about God. Remember God loves you and WANTS a relationship with. Lean toward him and you may be surprised how much better you'll be.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Roxboro, NC
Posts: 544
(((Zach)))
Eliassons is right, you do have potential or you wouldn't be here. Your post are heartbreaking to me because you have so much life to live and no one wants to see you be misrable.
I pulling for you Zach. Hang in there, please. Keep coming here for support and like Dee said, find any avenue of support that you can.
Eliassons is right, you do have potential or you wouldn't be here. Your post are heartbreaking to me because you have so much life to live and no one wants to see you be misrable.
I pulling for you Zach. Hang in there, please. Keep coming here for support and like Dee said, find any avenue of support that you can.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Philly PA
Posts: 814
Zach - Was never in the spot you're in but close enough. Started when I was in 7th grade. I did so much stuff though HS it was scary - and yes I remember not being scared. Not being scared to try a pill when I had no idea what it would do to me. Not scared to mix drinking with pot with pills. Not scared when I could drink un-godly amounts when I was doing coke.
Sometime in my Senior year I was like - I'm so done with this **it - if no one is going to help me get out I'm going to because this **uks. So I did - kind of like what you're doing - I just stopped everything but drinking and I have to say it was great.
Went to community college - later got my BS then my Masters. Great job, kids the works... always drank - and a little too much of that on weekends etc. About 5 years ago it got to be every night I drank. But compared to HS I was so straight and life was pretty good. Now I'm just getting rid of the last cling-on from HS - my drinking - everything else is gone and I can tell you it is SOOO worth it.
Forget whatever other people are telling you (especially the people who are telling you your a loser) and get a counselor. I got one through the United Way - they paid because I didn't have money and they didn't know me so I could be honest. Be honest knowing you can leave and you never have to see them again - you'll probably end up going back and working things through - especially if you know you don't HAVE to go back.
By the time I was in my late 20's I would get scared if I thought I was going to get hurt or die and I remember thinking - wow - I so should have felt this way my whole life.
Believe in yourself - you can do this!! and reach out for help.
Take care.
Sometime in my Senior year I was like - I'm so done with this **it - if no one is going to help me get out I'm going to because this **uks. So I did - kind of like what you're doing - I just stopped everything but drinking and I have to say it was great.
Went to community college - later got my BS then my Masters. Great job, kids the works... always drank - and a little too much of that on weekends etc. About 5 years ago it got to be every night I drank. But compared to HS I was so straight and life was pretty good. Now I'm just getting rid of the last cling-on from HS - my drinking - everything else is gone and I can tell you it is SOOO worth it.
Forget whatever other people are telling you (especially the people who are telling you your a loser) and get a counselor. I got one through the United Way - they paid because I didn't have money and they didn't know me so I could be honest. Be honest knowing you can leave and you never have to see them again - you'll probably end up going back and working things through - especially if you know you don't HAVE to go back.
By the time I was in my late 20's I would get scared if I thought I was going to get hurt or die and I remember thinking - wow - I so should have felt this way my whole life.
Believe in yourself - you can do this!! and reach out for help.
Take care.
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