4me1

On payday Fridays at work we usually go out to eat. Today we went to tilted kilt for lunch. I have never drank at lunch. But being sober 5 days now. I kept staring towards the bar. Anxiety of giving it up hit me so hard. I had to pull out my phone look at this site, remember a few horrible memories of stupidity. It is every where tv, radio, sports commercials. Supposed to go to a wedding tonight. My wife supports me but not sure she knows how hard it can be. For her me not going is not an option. I guess it might be cause for to many questions. I have fears of the future and vacations. This is so scary. Need a force field around me.

bellakeller

Your wife probably is not capable of coming close to understanding what you're facing. I don't think people who don't have problems with alcohol can totally comprehend. Don't expect her to.

Can you go to the wedding and skip the reception?

Dee74

I had to avoid places like bars and weddings etc when I was getting sober 4me1.

I was so so beaten down then that even the sight of people drinking could have broken my resolve.

I took myself out of the social things for a while - until I was sure my commitment to my sobriety could withstand anything.

It was rough to do but I needed to change my life, and that meant making some tough choices.

D

4me1

Thanks. This is going to be tough. Great idea about skipping the reception. Think she might go for that. So irritating to one day say I want to beat this. Then fight myself to stay on the course. I also fear explaining to people why I am not drinking guess I don't have to? Right

Sparkydog

Early on in my mission I had to keep reminding myself Im a non drinker, now I have developed habitual sobriety, so its a non issue at this point. So just keep reminding yourself youve chosen a better way of life.

Mark75

When I go out to eat, I don't want a table where I can see the bar. Not such a big deal now, but it was at first... My wife was a little cross at first with certain things I would and would not do... But early on, do whatever it takes... It gets better, much better. Hang in there!!

Tres

Just day 4 here for me and its Friday pm...dreading the weekend, but know I have to do this. I usually start drinking right after I walk in the door. Hubby too. Plan on spending the eve with my daughter on the couch watching movies...did that before but always drunk...I made myself some hot tea now and had to get on this site. I have a busy day tomorrow and just keep thinking of that. Bday party for a friend tomorrow..big drinkers...we have to drive there and daughter will be with us...I will not drink, but this will be hard..I am going to use the "I'm the DD." My friends will probably look at me strange...I probably need new friends..

This is my third time trying to quit..seeing a counselor even though shes not much help. Getting on here and reading helps..thank you for listening..

Tres

funny..looked at my sign on year was 2009...tried to quit then..didn't last long, and probably once in 2010. I made it 44 days that time..ugh! Why is it so hard?

Eliasson

4me1- I agree with the idea of skipping the reception, and I remember feeling like everywhere I went alcohol was right in my face. It was sort of like when I was pregnant everyone around me seemed to be pregnant too! I'm only at 85 days but have realized that part has already gotten just a little bit better for me already. I don't notice it quite as much. So it will get better eventually, hang in there. And Tres, the important thing is that you keep getting back up and trying again. It's taken me many tries at this sobriety thing. Don't give up!

quitforme79

I think it's so great 4me1 that you got thru the lunch...great idea to pull up this site! I am going to a restaurant tonight for my friends's bday..don't really want to but my plan is to get a seltzer and just stay for an hour or so until dinner is done. (After that, they are heading to a bar). If anyone gives me flak for not drinking, they're not my real friends anyway. Stay strong!!!

goalofsobriety

You don't have to explain your reason for not drinking if you don't want to! It's perfectly fine just to say you don't drink. You could also say your on antibiotics or some other medication that you can't mix alcohol with. I wouldn't worry though, I doubt anyone will even notice or ask...to make yourself more comfortable I'd suggest holding a glass of something nondescript like tonic water and lime.

You'll get through this, don't worry! Keep in mind how good you will feel coming home sober and clear headed after the wedding.

Littletori

I have been sober for 6wks & too sruggle with certain situations that are comin up Christmas,holidays etc instead of taking one day at a time!
I am scared of myself and frightened so much of letting myself down!!

NYCDoglvr

People, places and things (AA saying) can lead us right back to a drink. I stayed far away from bars and restaurants, people who drank, for the first six months when my sobriety was more solid.

withdrawing

Non-alc beer works great for me in restaurant situations. My friend who used to drink real beer with me has now switched to non-alc beer too. I am now over 90 days into my sobriety and occasionally I will have a non-alc beer in a restaurant with absolutely zero desire for a real one. Works for me.

despairingsair

4me1.. I can totally relate to your post, in my past I allowed myself to get into social situations which I 'knew' might test my sobriety.. and they did and I now see that I was pushing myself too hard too soon.. I have a gig to attend in 5 weeks, i'm already slightly worried..but I won't be going near a pub or bar anytime soon and i'm not a week in yet.. This time round I have told everyone close to me that I am T-total and my plan.. It re-enforces my determination.. My partner was not particularly enthusiastic about my sobriety and would drink in front of me, have it in the house etc That on retrospect was a good test and how life would be down the road if i'd made more than a month.. but it actually contributed to the temptation.. out of sight out of mind for me personally.. I wish you well 4me1 and let us know how you are doing! All the Best!