Leaping

So I got a series of texts from my STBXAH last weekend and the story is comical, especially given the outrageous lies he has told over the last two years (some of which I believed)

He starts with texting about how he almost died (this is not the funny part, bear with me) and how the front side of his car is full of blood and he is all cut up.

So I call him (sucked back in...I know I know) and he tells me this story of how he was driving down interstate 65 in Virginia and someone threw a rock that hit his side driver window, shattering it and spraying him with glass. Turns out he knows the guy who threw the rock so he pulled over and had some words with him, his name is Hernando. They exchanged some words and my STBXAH drives off, bleeding but with the promise from Hernando that he (Hernando) will pay for the damages.

I must admit I got off the phone (quickly once I realized the level of BS I was dealing with) and had a good laugh at the thought of some mexican throwing rocks at speeding Tahoes on I65 near Richmond. And managing to hit the window but not total the car. Its a ridiculous story!

Why cant he just admit he was drunk and hit something on his way home? Or broke the window because he locked the keys inside? Or whatever the truth was? The lengths he goes to to cover up his drinking is amazing.

Just had to share, I had a good laugh and I know there is nothing funny about this story or the underlying disease so I hope no one gets offended but MY GOSH! The lies...the lies....

suki44883

That Hernando.

fedup3

when I think back on all the times coming home from work and seeing my xah car in the driveway with yet another large dent in it and praying it was an object and not a person that made it, ugh, glad those days are over.

bellakeller

Guess he told Hernando a thing or two! Maybe now Hernando can go back to doing more important things than throwing rocks at cars. My 5 and 7 year old children threw rocks at cars (ONCE) before I let them know what consequences would occur as a result.

Cunning...baffling...

painterman

Don't be too harsh! Hernando was just trying to attract his attention!

bellakeller

I can't help but laugh...I am sorry, Leaping.

vujade

Hey!! I think my XAH is friends with Hernando, too!! Small world...

nodaybut2day

My ex blames Hernando for the fall of the human race and bringing on the Apocalypse he told me about. Damn that Hernando and his Machiavellian plans...

ACOAHappyNow

Hey, Hernando must be the reason why my brother got fired from that janitorial job for stealing booze from the bar! Yeah, that's the ticket, wasn't my brother who stole that booze, it was Hernando! That Hernando sure does get around!!!!

Leaping

"oh come on, you ain't buying that??? "

totally not buying it. Not with a credit card, not with cash. I laughed at it, even now - days later I find it amusing.

Thanks for everyone for blaming Hernando for their troubles too....soo funny....this may keeping me smiling all day!

I think Hernando gave me this head cold too, he has been busy this week!

simian66

I think we have a new term for this condition: Hernando's Syndrome

cdbf7891

Hernando strikes again! It's always his fault.

ACOAHappyNow

Yup, I give my vote for the phrase "Hernando's syndrome" for any tall tale spun to deflect attention/blame from whatever the Addict/Alcoholic is running from!

ACOAHappyNow

And, incidentally, Hernando is the reason there's some dust in my home. Just sayin'.

dollydo

Really? Maybe Hernando is the guy that broke the back window in my SUV!

PurpleWilder

Whaddya wanna bet the poster's alcoholic was listening to ABBA (Fernando) or Lady Gaga (Alejandro) when the alleged Rockpocolypse occurred?

Pelican

I'm just amazed that your STBXAH is able to drive such an antique Tahoe down the interstate.

Laminated shatterproof glass has been installed in vehicles for a looooong time! Ford began using it in vehicles in 1939.

I guess Hernando used a rocket launcher with the rock and stuff......

Cantonian

I'd believe it... Hernando Cuervo Tequilla used to throw rocks at me too...lol.

lillamy

I am SO glad I opened this post!!! See, for a long time, I have been led to believe, by my AXH, that I am the cause of all the evils in the world. Nevermind Satan, he's bushleague compared to Lillamy, if you believe Lillamy's AXH.

I will now be able to tell him that honestly, I didn't cause his drinking OR the financial crisis OR global warming -- It was ALL Hernando!!!

lillamy

I am SO glad I opened this post!!! See, for a long time, I have been led to believe, by my AXH, that I am the cause of all the evils in the world. Nevermind Satan, he's bushleague compared to Lillamy, if you believe Lillamy's AXH.

I will now be able to tell him that honestly, I didn't cause his drinking OR the financial crisis OR global warming -- It was ALL Hernando!!!