Detoxing Monday
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Detoxing Monday
Yeah, detox starts Monday. It's going to be at home and there will be a nurse on call...but I guess you know what I'm thinking?
I'm terrified.
It's the usual things, what's life going to be like without booze. What do instead of picking up a drink?
I know this is the right thing, not just for my waistline and bank balance, but I am a bright chick and have wasted too many years not using my brain.
I can ask my nurse a million question, and believe me I have, but nobody really understands what this means to me.
I'm crying everyday over my dead cat, I'm having nightmares whenever I try to sleep.
It's not like it's the first time I have made a newcomer post on this forum. I want this to be the last. Well I have no choice now, it's quit or quit life.
But I am so scared. I could run up and down the street screaming with fear. I do have a massive anxiety issue so actually going out there and doing it would be impossible :p
Tell me it's going to be okay. Or tell me it's going to be hard and I'll be smashing every plate in the house. Tell me my friends will hate me whilst I am recovering. Tell me that I can get through this and be able to avoid to buy a hamster, and a cage to keep it in.
Then let me run away for a few hours and get stuck in my own head.
I will be back, my rambling is evidence of that. I Just need someone/someplace to let it out. And a cigarette :P
I'm terrified.
It's the usual things, what's life going to be like without booze. What do instead of picking up a drink?
I know this is the right thing, not just for my waistline and bank balance, but I am a bright chick and have wasted too many years not using my brain.
I can ask my nurse a million question, and believe me I have, but nobody really understands what this means to me.
I'm crying everyday over my dead cat, I'm having nightmares whenever I try to sleep.
It's not like it's the first time I have made a newcomer post on this forum. I want this to be the last. Well I have no choice now, it's quit or quit life.
But I am so scared. I could run up and down the street screaming with fear. I do have a massive anxiety issue so actually going out there and doing it would be impossible :p
Tell me it's going to be okay. Or tell me it's going to be hard and I'll be smashing every plate in the house. Tell me my friends will hate me whilst I am recovering. Tell me that I can get through this and be able to avoid to buy a hamster, and a cage to keep it in.
Then let me run away for a few hours and get stuck in my own head.
I will be back, my rambling is evidence of that. I Just need someone/someplace to let it out. And a cigarette :P
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi Frisky
I remember the fear very well.
For 20 years I defined myself by my drinking, my life revolved around getting drunk...it's a monumental change to consider....especially if you've not stopped drinking yet.
But I knew I had to do it - I didn't want to die, and I didn't want to be the drunk I was anymore. I wanted a better life.
It wasn't always easy - but it was the bnst thing I ever did for myself
and we're not alone - there's hundreds of people here who'll understand you, support you, and help you.
If Mondays the day when a nurse will be on call so be it.
My only advice would be - resist the urge for any of those last hurrahs this weekend.
Be ready
Welcome back Frisky
D
I remember the fear very well.
For 20 years I defined myself by my drinking, my life revolved around getting drunk...it's a monumental change to consider....especially if you've not stopped drinking yet.
But I knew I had to do it - I didn't want to die, and I didn't want to be the drunk I was anymore. I wanted a better life.
It wasn't always easy - but it was the bnst thing I ever did for myself
and we're not alone - there's hundreds of people here who'll understand you, support you, and help you.
If Mondays the day when a nurse will be on call so be it.
My only advice would be - resist the urge for any of those last hurrahs this weekend.
Be ready
Welcome back Frisky
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Thanks Dee. I have spent many a day reading this site and know how much it can help.
The fab people are the key.
I have movie plans for Saturday so that will help quell the urge, Sunday I don't know, but I will try not to do the last blowout bit.
I think I'll keep this lil ole newcomer thread going until Friday, at least (if that's not against forum rules of course!) and see how my treatment goes.
It might help me see the changes, and hopefully others too.
Edit: And thanks again Dee. The insight into how I, and others feel when we are starting out helps immensely x MORE than immensely in fact!
The fab people are the key.
I have movie plans for Saturday so that will help quell the urge, Sunday I don't know, but I will try not to do the last blowout bit.
I think I'll keep this lil ole newcomer thread going until Friday, at least (if that's not against forum rules of course!) and see how my treatment goes.
It might help me see the changes, and hopefully others too.
Edit: And thanks again Dee. The insight into how I, and others feel when we are starting out helps immensely x MORE than immensely in fact!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Frisky, I'm proud of you for facing this and taking action. Some never see what they're doing to themselves.
I drank my whole life, and thanks to SR I'm now approaching 4 yrs. sober. I never dreamed just having a place to vent could mean so much. I never knew there were so many of "me" out there. I thought I was unique and all alone in the hell I had created for myself. Once I knew I wasn't alone anymore, I got the courage and strength I needed to lay the stuff down for good.
It felt very strange at first, because I was drinking round the clock in the end. I was terrified to let go, but not ready to leave this earth - which was a very real possibility. I was so thankful when it was finally out of my system - I was free. I know you're going to make it out of this frisky - and a beautiful new world is waiting for you.
I drank my whole life, and thanks to SR I'm now approaching 4 yrs. sober. I never dreamed just having a place to vent could mean so much. I never knew there were so many of "me" out there. I thought I was unique and all alone in the hell I had created for myself. Once I knew I wasn't alone anymore, I got the courage and strength I needed to lay the stuff down for good.
It felt very strange at first, because I was drinking round the clock in the end. I was terrified to let go, but not ready to leave this earth - which was a very real possibility. I was so thankful when it was finally out of my system - I was free. I know you're going to make it out of this frisky - and a beautiful new world is waiting for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: on the lake
Posts: 12
frisky, at 56 detox was the best thing i ever did. the nurse may give you meds for anxiety
i detoxed for 4 days in a hosp. hooked up to more machines than a heart transplant patient. and a nurse every 2 hours day and night checking blood pressure and other vitals.
god the nurses get to be a loving pain! i hope you get a good nurse and keep away you fears and anxiety. you will feel great.
i detoxed for 4 days in a hosp. hooked up to more machines than a heart transplant patient. and a nurse every 2 hours day and night checking blood pressure and other vitals.
god the nurses get to be a loving pain! i hope you get a good nurse and keep away you fears and anxiety. you will feel great.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Oh Hevyn, it's like you're telling my story. That same stupid cycle, wake up, cup of tea? Oh no, there's vodka left over, might as well finish it off.
I spent so much time thinking that was normal, it's time to start life again
Wowsers Boater! I bless everyone of those annoying nurses. My sister's one of them and believe me I curse her a lot!
But the fact you got through it makes me smile, no grin actually. Those people who help us are wonders. Sometimes I think what they must think of us, but you got through it and I know from my sister's experience they grin too when they saved someone.
I'm going to be one of those people that make people smile too. And pay it back a million times over.
And now really bed time. I feel...well I could talk for hours, but I feel better now than I have in weeks.
Edit: Lots of blubbing going on on my end. But it is good blubbing. It's the biggest release since I knew I was going to do this. I feel calm and exhilarated all at once.
I spent so much time thinking that was normal, it's time to start life again
Wowsers Boater! I bless everyone of those annoying nurses. My sister's one of them and believe me I curse her a lot!
But the fact you got through it makes me smile, no grin actually. Those people who help us are wonders. Sometimes I think what they must think of us, but you got through it and I know from my sister's experience they grin too when they saved someone.
I'm going to be one of those people that make people smile too. And pay it back a million times over.
And now really bed time. I feel...well I could talk for hours, but I feel better now than I have in weeks.
Edit: Lots of blubbing going on on my end. But it is good blubbing. It's the biggest release since I knew I was going to do this. I feel calm and exhilarated all at once.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 3
This is my first day of trying to communicate with others who have had similar problems. I first started drinking as a way to sleep and reduce anxiety. Now if I don't have a drink, I get shaky and it scares me. How do I get started?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome PopNoodle
I think if you're feeling shaky and scared a doctor is a good first step. Detox can be problematic for some of us - it's best to be safe
Read and post as much as you like here - you'll find a lot of ideas. Some people use recovery groups like AA or SMART, some go to counselling, others inpatient or outpatient rehab...some, like me, just use SR
D
I think if you're feeling shaky and scared a doctor is a good first step. Detox can be problematic for some of us - it's best to be safe
Read and post as much as you like here - you'll find a lot of ideas. Some people use recovery groups like AA or SMART, some go to counselling, others inpatient or outpatient rehab...some, like me, just use SR
D
11/11/07
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 73
Best of luck, may Monday be the first day of your new and much, much better life without alcohol!
I celebrate 4 years next Friday, but remember the fear and anxiety very well...It WILL get better every day you commit to sobriety...
One AA saying that really, really helped me in the worst of moments was:
"This too shall pass"
and it does, no matter what's going on physically, emotionally, etc.. it will pass.
I celebrate 4 years next Friday, but remember the fear and anxiety very well...It WILL get better every day you commit to sobriety...
One AA saying that really, really helped me in the worst of moments was:
"This too shall pass"
and it does, no matter what's going on physically, emotionally, etc.. it will pass.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Thank you everyone for the support and encouragement. I am scared today, but it really is a path to a new life.
I have to keep telling myself that. I know it's true.
PopNoodle, you have to be honest with yourself. It's so much less scary when you admit you have a problem. I can only say what I have been through, but I hid everything for so long that it was a relief to finally be able to say I have a problem with alcohol. It's a step on the road to recovery. I'm just on the first step, but a step is a step.
PM if you'd like to talk about things. I have open ears and will be happy to just listen.
I have to keep telling myself that. I know it's true.
PopNoodle, you have to be honest with yourself. It's so much less scary when you admit you have a problem. I can only say what I have been through, but I hid everything for so long that it was a relief to finally be able to say I have a problem with alcohol. It's a step on the road to recovery. I'm just on the first step, but a step is a step.
PM if you'd like to talk about things. I have open ears and will be happy to just listen.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Eek, can't be doing with having 13 posts on this thread. I am superstitious about 13.
Going to get some sleep and hopefully make tomorrow positive. I am honestly so mentally exhausted! I would love to thank everyone individually because each post means a lot to me, but for tonight I'm just going to have to leave massive hugs to all of you.
Really, every post does mean a lot xxxx
Going to get some sleep and hopefully make tomorrow positive. I am honestly so mentally exhausted! I would love to thank everyone individually because each post means a lot to me, but for tonight I'm just going to have to leave massive hugs to all of you.
Really, every post does mean a lot xxxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Well it is near enough 2am. I've been dry six hours. Wow, what an accomplishment *eyeroll* Yeah, I know every hour counts.
I have some grog and I am going to drink it. Again, I know. It's stupid. Most will end up down the sink. But I have one day of this stupid old life left, my heart tells me to leave it and my brain says I need it.
I'm very low (not that low, I promise). I hate that I have hurt people and I am going to make it up to them. I going to become sober for me, but I'm going to be a better person for them. And life is going to be amazing again!
I have some grog and I am going to drink it. Again, I know. It's stupid. Most will end up down the sink. But I have one day of this stupid old life left, my heart tells me to leave it and my brain says I need it.
I'm very low (not that low, I promise). I hate that I have hurt people and I am going to make it up to them. I going to become sober for me, but I'm going to be a better person for them. And life is going to be amazing again!
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