Panther

I'm starting this thread to give some alternative reading to those who are new, or who have run up against a wall and need something extra. These books have helped me in coping with my loved one being sick, but more importantly they have helped me to understand more about myself and my life.

Man and His Symbols - by CG Jung. This book is about discovering the Self and about reaching a place where you feel complete and whole. I'm a work in progress - not there yet. But this book has definitely helped me. CG Jung is one of the founders of the field of psychology.

I Ching - This is a book that has been around for centuries. It's basically meant to be a spiritual guide. You don't need to be Buddhist to use this book. I'm Christian and I find this book to be very helpful. Right now I am on #43 in the book. Breakthrough.

And here is some standard reading that I think EVERYONE with a loved one with alcoholism should read. I know I've mentioned them before, but I'll mention them again for people who are new.

Under the Influence by Dr. Millam. This book answers every question you ever had about alcoholism. It thoroughly explains the illness and the different stages. It also gives advice on how to help your loved one. This book was written by a doctor who devoted his life to educating people on alcoholism and treating it.

Love First by Jeff Jay. This book was written by an ex-addict who recovered and became a professional interventionist. This book is meant for those who are trying to get their loved one into rehab but are overwhelmed at how impossible it seems.

Panther

SoaringSpirits

I recently read a memoir, "Lit" my Mary Karr. Helped me understand more what it's like to be an alcoholic.

Thlayli

AH and I are currently reading "The Places that Scare You: a guide to fearlessness in difficult times" by Pema Chodron.

It's a small book but has sparked some very interesting conversations between AH and me. I can actually see lots of parallels between the concepts in this book and Al-anon principles. It's been helpful to me because AH is a bit resistant to what he "understands" about 12-step programs. Somehow he's more open to it when I can relate it to Buddhist ideas.

A friend gave the book to me when she found out that AH had started drinking again. Before I had a chance to read it he left to move in with his parents for a few weeks and took it with him. He says the book "saved him." Not sure about that but it did get us talking in a productive way and both of us feel it's been helpful in helping us be more peaceful.

LifeRecovery

I just finished "Under the Influence" and was really curious what everyone else thought about it. There were some ideas in there that I had not considered before and I am struggling to extend my thought process into it completely. A lot resonated with me, but I am struggling with some parts.

I had a similar experience with "The Big Book."

I LOVE "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie.

I also have gotten a lot out of anything by Claudia Black. I did not grow up with active alcoholism in my home, but I think both my parents did (without recovery). Her work helped me to realize how this stuff can get passed down.

"How Can I Forgive You, and the Freedom Not To." by Janet Abrahms Springs. Her work is really about affairs, but this book was written about forgiveness in general and it really let me let go of some old "stuff" I had about forgiving.

Thanks for this post....reading has been a lifesaver for me on more than one occasion. Off to bed to read a little lighter, fluffy stuff for a bit.

Panther

I've read the book 3 times in the past 2 years. The first time I read it I was shocked in a way. It was hard for me to fully come to terms with what I had believed about alcoholism and the facts the doctor was presenting. I had always considered myself a well read and intelligent person, and to be confronted with my won ignorance in such a startling way was difficult.

But once I accepted what Dr. Millam put forward, it all started to make sense. It explained so many questions that I felt were never adequately explained under the psychological model of addiction. I had never fully understood why someone would drink themselves into such a degree of illness. I had never seen someone so sick as when I saw my ex go through withdrawals. Why was he seemingly doing this to himself? If it was self-destruction, surely there was a less painful way to self-destruct! Dr. Millam explained all that, and his answers made sense.

The first thing I did after reading the book the first time was to call my ex and apologize. I had often lectured him and made him feel bad about his addiction, never fully understanding his struggle. I also started telling him about what I was learning, and gave him a copy.

Panther