Dean5699

Hi new here. I really need help before I kill myself or someone else. I'm 39 and have been drinking so bad and I'm driving. This past Halloween weekend I hope was the end of the poisoning of my mind and body. I had a DUI in 2008 did not hurt myself or anyone thank god. Still drinking and driving and I get so messed up that I think I'm blacking out because I will not even remember driving home and the next day I feel like I'm gonna die. I do it all beer whiskey jeager and I cannot just drink 1 or 2 drinks I have to drink until I am comatoast. I am unemployed layed off 1 year ago. I have no health insurance to go to professional help so I'm gonna try this place to try and get some support. I have not drank since Sunday and well that's it. Still on probation for 1st DUI. Hope I can do it so I dont kill myself or some other innocent person.

ANGELINA243

Welcome to SR. Glad you are here. You will find much support here. Keep posting. We do recover.

BASEjumper

Have you tried any recovery methods?

Dean5699

Thanks, One of my biggest problems is that my entire family and friends all drink it's all around all the time do I just lock myself up and stay away from them messed up.

Dean5699

This is it I'm here I've seen this site before just did not join. went to some AA because I had to for my DUI program did not like it.

Dee74

Hi Dean

I'm sure you'll hear from people here who wish they could turn the clock back on various horror stories and DUIs. Drinking and driving can end in some pretty horrific tragedies, man.

Whats your plan for recovery? The Salvation Army offers free rehab services in a lot of cities...

The Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center: Rehabilitation Program


things like AA or SMART don't cost anything either...
Alcoholics Anonymous :
Alcoholics Anonymous : Local Resources that provide A.A. Meeting Information

SMART Recovery® | Self Help for Addiction & Alcohol Abuse
SMART Recovery® - Meetings Index Page

I see you didn't like AA but I was typing as you were posting.

I'll leave the info up tho because I really hope you'll look at all your options before you get in your car drunk again.

You'll find a lot of support here too - I hope you can make this time your time to quit

Welcome aboard

eJoshua

Welcome to SR, Dean!

There are a lot of ways to find support, AA is not the only option. In my experience, whatever you find you can best latch onto and agree with gives you the best chance of being able to beat this, but no recovery program in the world will work unless you work at it and are committed to your recovery.

Best wishes in your efforts to stay sober!

ANGELINA243

Some people just come here to SR while others use this website in addition to some other program like AA etc. You have to find a program that works for you--something that will help you in your recovery.

goodman

My uncle was killed by a drunk driver. He was hit and thrown by a female driving a car when she forgot to turn on her headlights.

My uncle's face was completely ripped off and he was brain dead in the hospital and my parents had to turn off life support. They donated his organs. He pushed his fiance who was pregnant out of the way at the time. She lost the baby a week later.

Not everyone who is hurt by a drunk driver dies.



Turn yourself in and save your life and your soul. Go down to the ER and turn yourself in for rehab. If you go to a hospital they will send you for rehab. They have to legally. Get a case manager. Call the cops and get that car away from you.

Lend it to a friend or coworker or take the air out of the tires or throw the keys in the mailbox in an envelope addressed to a friend or even yourself to buy yourself a few days.


Although my uncle died, I feel most sorry for the woman who killed him. I have a drinking problem too. I am lucky that I don't have a car. I'd probably try to convince myself that it would be ok to drive as well.

Don't hate yourself. Get help. You were honest, you came out to be heard and you have been heard. Don't down yourself. You will save a life today by helping yourself get sober. Even if it is only yours.

Dean5699

Man Goodman that has me very choked up thanks for your input I'm scared of this whole thing I'm freaking out. I told myself after my first DUI I would not drink and drive again man I messed up.

StPeteGrad

Welcome, Dean.

You are not the only one that has a life built around people that drink- this is the cause or effect of our affliction.

I had to take a total time out for 30 days. I stayed away from ALL of my friends. I was 40 year old dad of two young children comitting suicide by alcoholism. This is MY program and it was none of my business what others thought of me. I'm not going to hear their pity when I'm dead.

I have rewritten who I am. I socialize only with sober people. I don't go to bars for any reason. I wrote on my bathroom mirror "what will you do to stay sober today."

I rely on the support of AA. It is a very social organization of very good people. It fills that void of losing all my bar "friends" but gives me a sense of purpose outside the house.

Define your goal, make a plan, follow the plan.

As we say in AA, "the plan is very simple, but not easy."

Peace
-SPG

goodman

Alcohol is designed to mess you up. Your friends and family that all drink around you are not your friends and family. I used to think the people I hung out with in bars and pubs were my friends. The other night I had a huge incident in a pub, which was not my fault and all the bar tenders did was tell me, it's not your fault man. Then they pointed out that drunks come in all the time and cause scenes. I said well thank God I've never had a scene. They just looked at me weird.

Find YOU. Find yourself. And hold on.

Dean5699

Thanks for every ones input it is greatly appreciated. StPeteGrad I am also a father of 2 daughters I understand I will have to stay away for awhile I'm sober now since Sunday I had a really bad weekend and I'm just done burned out cant sleep very good right now. I will check into some program's tomorrow and see if I can get myself into something. I am one of those people especially in this situation where I need to be taken by the hand to go. I have some really bad demons that are driving me to drink that I need to overcome I use the alcohol to mask them and I'm tired I can't do this anymore.

cuyootoo

I am going to look into an outpatient program tomorrow too. Hey, I have an idea for you about the drinking and driving thing though, you could sell your vehicle Put the money into Krugerands or American Eagles or something, that way the money will still be there for you when you get sober... just a thought.

Thanks for your post because it's really solidifying my hatred for alcohol. Just to echo Goodman, "Alcohol is not your friend."

NewBeginning010

Glad to have you here with us Dean, three days is a great start

If you can do this one day you can do this every day, one day at a time. That is the only way I have been able to be successful in not drinking is finally giving in & knowing that I cannot have one drink... ever.

If you dont drink... just for today you will be sober for the rest of your life. I hope that you can find the help & support that you need right now. Please dont get in that car after drinking...

Take care & stick with us, we understand.

least

Welcome to the family. I also hope you do something to make sure you don't drink and drive anymore. Too many bad things can happen, to you or someone else.

TheTinMan

This!

Welcome to SR, Dean.

Joshua brings up a good point. Do whatever it takes to stay sober. If AA is not your thing then try SMART. Try coming here and hanging out and posting and reading all day. There is a lot of stuff out there that can help, find that something and like Joshua said, latch on to it, cling to it.

Stay off the road too brother. Don't want to see you get hurt or someone else hurt.

LoftyIdeals

Welcome to SR, Dean, and thanks for your post. I too was a chronic drunk driver, and, by the grace of God, simply got lucky that I didn't have a mishap. Alcohol can make a fool of the best of us; it truly is not our friend. As Goodman said, it's designed to mess us up, and mess me up it has.

Keep posting, and good luck on your rehab search today. I really hope you find a solution today. Your life may depend on it.

Dean5699

Still sober damn its hard thanks people. Having trouble sleeping gonna try some melatonin.

pikkle69

I started taking valerian a little over a week ago and having been a chronic insomniac my entire life, I'm completely amazed that it seems to be very effective, able to knock off in about 15 minutes instead of the 3-4 hours (or not at all) like it had been during my time on this planet. The drunken sleep I had become accustomed to for the last 29 years wasn't really sleep, it was just passing out. I never thought I'd be excited about being able to actually sleep!