Lindauk

This will be me 2 months sober, I stopped drinking on the 1st of September, The wierd thing is I didnt really struggle drastically until about two days ago, Iv been really down over the last couple of weeks, iv been struggling with normal everyday life. I drove back out of my street last night heading to the shop to get a bottle and turned back at the last minute!!!!!! I dont understand why I seem to be getting worse now or why Im so low? Did this seem the way for anyone else and can you give me any advice please x.
Linda

camedown

Sorry to hear it's getting tough. Are you doing any outside support groups? Around one to three months was when I was an emotional wreck, but one thing that helped me a lot was doing a simple daily check in here. I did it in the monthly support threads, and it was a good way of anylizing my emotional status and keeping a pulse of where I was at day to day. Some days are going to be OK, and some are going to suck ass, but that is the fight we must endure to be sober. Just make the goal of each day to hit that pillow at night sober, and thank God when you do. Good luck bud!!!

camedown

neferkamichael

God job lass, I'm 1 year 4 months sober and today 51 days of crack. I guess I'm depressed. not sure what to call it but I'm better of staying straight and I believe you and everybody else is to. I just "suffer" through it and im gonna turn that sufering into something positive
HAve a good day and hand in there

sissy07

Lindauk,

I am sorry you are having a down time. I remember a few times that I would be in my car driving to get some wine and turned around too. I was always so glad the next day that I turned around.

I have 84 days sober, and I am beginning to see that it is going to take more than not drinking to keep me from drinking. (Does that make sense?) In other words, not drinking will help me more than anything I could possibly do, but it is not the magic formula that erases all problems and moods - although my drinking was so out of control that there was actually no chance for happiness (or life, actually) if I continued. So I have begun to finally accept that there will be good days, ok days, bad days. I think that is what they call "normal". (Heck, it has been so long since I have been normal that I forgot what it was like. Wow.) Take care - it will get better. Just keep on doing the next right thing (I love that phrase) and don't drink.

YVRguy

Hi Linda

I actually have this weird pattern of relapse on 30 , 60 , 90 , 120 days clean from what my journals tell me ( or rather the journal entries stop and then come back after the binge is over). I am nearing day 30 ( on day 26) soon so being extra careful.

There are a lot of things that happen after the acute withdrawal is done and are often called PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome). Feeling down and depressed is not uncommon for some people. Myself I get anxiety and unless I do something to work though it , one stressful situation and I could be back on a binge. Lots of other ways I have tripped up or tripped myself up.

Some research says it can take months and even years for some of the symptoms to go away and this often leads to relapse as it can be very uncomfortable to deal with them. Heck knows I have fallen and relapsed so many times now ughhh

I still don't sleep all through the night and I sure am down and grumpy at times but I am also wanting to keep my freedom from the vicious circle of a binge and relapse and withdrawal again.

My emotions have been all over the map from very down , to angry , to peaceful to obsessive about things ( luckily not drinking but the same kind of obsessive circle) and that can be all in the same day or even a few hours.

I am on anti depressants so you may want to talk with your doctor if this persists. Anti depressants seem to be a hit and miss for every individual and most have side effects. I went through a few different medications before I have something I can manage the side effects and it actually works.

Does your doctor know you're changing for the better and sober life? Might be a time to let them know , most will be very supportive.

Today I am feeling mellow but sure have been a number of days I felt very out of sorts in the last 14. I guess I am happy they were sober days even if they weren't enjoyable as the agony of another binge and withdrawal and the whole loss of freedom from that seems to high a cost to me right now.

Hoping today feels a bit better for you

Dee74

Hi Linda

I'm not a doctor but this link made sense to me when I was experiencing many of the same things:

PAWS « Digital Dharma

I think you're still doing ok - it would be a lot better for all of us if recovery was linear - if the longer we stayed sober the 'better' we got - but that's obviously not the case.

I've 20 years experience that shows how me resilient my addiction can be, if I let it be.

There's nothing to be scared of tho - I work on my recovery everyday - just as I try to work on my body and my mind, I exercise my recovery too

I'm coming up to 5 years sober now and I'm not looking for the 'monster' around every corner - stick with it

D

grotty75

I have given up drinking once 7 months ago and smoking 3 times in the last 10 years. The thing I have noticed with me is that I actually feel better after a few days or weeks then the symptoms of psychological withdrawals cycle back more strongly sort of like a week good a week bad that sort of time scale. Eventually the good periods become much longer but occasionally the symptoms come back to me occasionally sometimes quite intense. Only after 4 months did I start coming out of the fog of post addiction recovery. Thing is your hormones like adrenal glands etc need to recover and return to normal function which takes ages so your energy levels will fluctuate as will your blood sugar levels. This is worse with smoking so definately do not give up smoking yet if you smoke. The key is to persist and eat a diet that helps. Things like gingseng, vitamins like thiamine etc also help. A berocca a day with a gingseng used to work quite well for me when things were a bit rough.

CaiHong

Hi Tanja,
You are not alone on this. My emotions have been up and down like a yo-yo. A few weeks ago I really thought is this it? Feeling flat, low now for some reason my emotions are so much more stable. I think time has helped, 5 months sober, working a program, owning my feelings. I am beginning to sort out my irrational feelings from my rational ones. What prompted the irrational ones, hunger, tiredness and boredom. I now have the energy to change things, life is becoming exciting again.

Hang in there.

CaiHong

Lindauk

Thank you all so much for your help and advice it really helps to have all this support in place. Dee the paws reading made real sense and it related to WVRguys 30, 60, 90 , 120 days cycle. It also talked about diet and avoiding sugar. The wierd thing is Iv been craving sugar and answering its call, I never used to have a sweet tooth at all so i guess its my body trying to compensate for it not getting the alcohol. I have stopped smoking grotty i stopped 8 years ago but you made me think back and I remember getting a bit low sometimes then too. So maybe the psycological realisation that life doesnt become perfect just through eliminating a substance takes time to adjust to. Does that make sense. All I can say is you all have given me a boost just knowing you understand and care. Hugs and much love and gratitude to you all x x x x