InParticular

One: Is there a difference between "problem drinker", and "alcoholic"?

Two: I want to go to an AA meeting but am pretty apprehensive about it. Can anyone tell me a little bit about what to expect at my first meeting, so maybe I won't be so nervous and might ACTUALLY, you know, GO?

Thanks and here's to everybody having a great and healthy November 2nd!

tellme1

I am new to getting sober (day 2), but last night I found an AA meeting and went to it and I am so glad I went. I had no idea what to expect. I was really surpised at the mix of people in the room - grandmothers, grandfathers, guys my age (i'm in my mid thirties), people in their 20's, all races, it seemed like all socioeconomic levels, it really opened my eyes as to how many people alcohol effects. I walked in the room and must have been visibly nervous because an older guy in a cowboy hat came up and introduced himself to me, welcomed me to the meeting, and said "I don't know you're past, but you must not be on a winning streak if you've ended up here." He instantly put me at ease. I sat back and listened to the meeting. They gave me a token for being 24 hours sober (which is in my pocket today), alot of them wrote down their phone numbers on a booklet that supplies weekly meeting times and places. They gave me the booklet at the end of the night and encouraged me to call ANY of them if I needed help, they encouraged me to come to another meeting tonight (I'm going), and they also bought me a copy of the big book (the standard AA book). I was never pressured about anything. I didn't have to talk about myself. I just listened - and was still welcomed in more of a way than I could have imagined. I'm extremely happy that I went to the meeting and hope you give it a shot. Good luck!

Anna

Hi,

I don't see any difference between the two terms and I try to not focus on the label of alcoholic. I, personally, don't like to use labels in any part of my life.

The main thing to me is this - Is alcohol causing problems in your life? If so, your life would improve by stopping drinking. It's necessary to accept that alcohol is causing you problems before you can let it go.

I don't use AA, but others will be along who can offer advice on that.

Dominica2

In my honest opinion, No there is no difference, either way, if you find that you are a problem drinker, it is pretty probable you drink too much.

AA is a great program, the one that I go to is very welcoming , and you don't have to talk if you dont want. I usually sit there and listen, that pretty much makes me feel great about being sober, because you realize "Hey, im not the only one who has gone through hell and back with this disease". Even if you dont go to a meeting, you can always read the "Big Book" online for free.

Best wishes, InParticular.

InParticular

Good for you tellme for going to a meeting, I wish I had your courage!

tellme1

You can do it! Just walk in and sit down and open your ears!

InParticular

I'll try! Thanks!

keithj

The AA Big Book draws a distinction between the two. That may or may not be useful for you, but I found it critical to my recovery in AA.

The BB describes the 'hard drinker' as one that can quit drinking based on sufficient consequences, such as health problems, falling in love, change of environment. I would add to this legal problems, occupational problems, financial problems, etc. If those things get bad enough, the 'hard drinker' will wake up and smell the coffee, and do something about their drinking.

The AA experience, played out in the lives of a couple million members, is that we kept drinking in spite of those consequences. We were absolutely unable to stop drinking when we really honestly and sincerely wanted to. Our most sincere desire to stop drinking was of no use.

So the practical application of this distinction for a newcomer is to look at your own experience. Have you been able to stop drinking on your own power? Have you been able to stay stopped?

Every day on this site you will see posts about someone relapsing who is absolutely convinced that they have the power to not relapse, despite their own experience to the contrary. To be successful in AA, I had to gather up enough personal experience at repeatedly failing to stay sober, before I was willing to concede that I was a 'real alcoholic'. It took what it took.

Nirvana1

I wanted to go to my first meeting for like 2 months before I finally walked in. I had to get confirmation from many people and many stories that it would be ok before I had the courage to walk in. I found a beginners meeting close to my home and just went for it. Best decision I have ever made. Everyone was really nice and was eager to help and give phone numbers. From that one meeting I met multiple people who I still talk to this day and my meetings and friends branched out from just the one meeting. I'm thankful that I gave AA a shot and would encourage you to check out a few meetings before you make any decisions if you think it's helpful or not.

LaFemme

I agree 100% with what Anna said.

Was I a problem drinker or an alcoholic? By keiths description I was both, can't figure it out, nor do I care. For me, alcohol was a problem and my life is immeasurably better without it. It took me about 5 years to quit on my own, if you think AA will help please give it a try...what have you got to lose?

doggonecarl

Problem drinking and alcoholism can be viewed separately because they have distinct characteristics that set them apart. But for me, Problem Drinking and Alcoholism were just stops on the train to ruin I was riding.

Glad I got off.

InParticular

Thanks. I've realized many times over the years that my drinking is screwing up my life, QUIT FOR SURE, and was always drinking again a few days later. Lost many jobs and good people along the way.
I guess I shouldn't dwell too much on labels.

I'm going to try a meeting tonight, I think. My boyfriend's going to come with me. Does anybody recommend that it's better to go by myself? Just wondering....

Zebra1275

Welcome, glad you are going to try AA, it made a difference for me.

Terminally Unique

As keithj noted, this distinction is important in AA, and the relevant passage is on Page 24 of the Big Book, but having seen people defer any action at all on account of this distinction, I feel compelled to ask a different question.
If that question makes your stomach churn, and both answers make you uneasy about the future, you may have some reflecting to do on where you are headed.

MarylandRick

Great to hear you went to a meeting tellme1. You likely don't even realize how many people yoou may have helped with this simple paragraph.

PaperDolls

It's true the the Big Book draws a distinction between the two and I think there is .... the danger for me is that my disease tells me I'm not an alcoholic .... I believed that for a long time. I was only a problem drinker and as TU mentioned, it caused me to "defer any action at all". I was miserable and drowning myself in it.

There's a thread somewhere (I can't find it!) about what to expect at your first meeting. It's got some great stuff in it.

Basically, you'll be welcomed with open arms. The only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking. You don't have to introduce yourself as an alcoholic if you aren't able. Most likely, they'll ask if this is anyone's first AA meeting.....I know it's scary, but be honest. At my home group, and most I've attended, they'll do what we call a 1st Step meeting. Basically, a smaller group will take you into a back room and talk with you. They'll share their stories with you and ask if you would like to share. You don't have to, not at all.

The first one is scary for most of us .... it gets better. Today, I LIKE to go. I never thought I'd get to that point!

I believed I was different than those in AA. In truth, I was no different even though my story wasn't exactly the same. Alcohol was making me miserable and sick(er).

artsoul

I think we've all wrestled with this question in one form or another. I've never seen any definition that makes a clear distinction. The healthy limit for alcohol is one drink for women and two for men per day, so technically, anything above that is a "problem."

For me, it came down to the relationship I had with alcohol, something no one else could really know.

Hope you enjoy your meeting!

bellakeller

Here is a good place to get some info about AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-about-aa.html

Dee74

I think a more useful question for newcomers is simply 'is my drinking causing me problems'?

If it is then, clearly something needs to be done.

Definitions and labels can come later, if you like

D

Zencat

I'm a problem drinking real alcoholic.

Like Anna wrote:
I use an addiction treatment program that works no matter what label one uses to describe themselves or not with regards to problem causing drinking. If drinking is a problem, then its time to stop and having a recovery plan can really help.