quitforme79

I feel down today, not crying or anything but just blah. I have many thoughts about my ex (still going thru the grieving process), I feel lonely yet I don't want to see anyone and I've had a few offers to go out and do something. I really just want to be left alone. I had a craving earlier and thought, "I could just drink one last time and start over again tomorrow" but that wouldn't help anything. At least I am clear headed and not feeling physically like crap. Was productive around the house so that's good. My finances are a freaking mess. I am able to pay my bills but feel like I can never get ahead. It's frustrating. I also feel extremely pissed off when other people complain about trivial sh#! such as getting a speeding ticket..like really?! Do I care?? In the scheme of life, is that incident enough to make your day come completely undone? I think it's good I turned down social obligations today because I just may have ripped someones head off lol hopefully tomorrow is better...wish i could fast forward at least 3 months & be done w grieving & adjusting to my new lifestyle. I'm feeling strong and not going to drink so that's what i'm grateful for today. Thanks for the vent SR community

ttbp

Sorry you're feeling down. Well done on your three days. Keep at it, it does get easier xxxx

808state

quitforme, we can feel 'blah' together as that sums up exactly how I'm feeling too!

Day 8 for me, thoughts about drinking have entered my head that's for sure but I know that picking up just isn't an option for me...it will only lead to pain, chaos, heartache for me & my loved one's & all in all it'll bring nothing good to the table. I am starting back at school tomorrow, doing SFI - Swedish for Immigrants, it's a language course. I've been waiting so eagerly for 5 mnths to start this & now can I build up even the slightest bit of enthusiasm for it? Can I heck, oh well we may be feeling blah & meh but we are sober & this can only be a very good thing

06yz125

"I could just drink one last time and start over again tomorrow"

That is ME.

I could convince myself that today will be the last time...
then tomorrow came and..this is it...the last time...
then tomorrow came...and..well..you get the picture.

I really don't know what changed. Maybe AA, maybe too many
negative thoughts, maybe too many close calls, maybe avrt,
maybe..

Well, I don't really care why or how anymore. I just can't/won't drink.

quitforme79

Thanks for your responses guys...I know it will get easier and I know I can't keep starting over the next day because it may just never end. And you are right 808state blah and meh are much more easier to deal with than sober...those feelings are SO much worse when you feed them with alcohol

Dee74

This may sound like dad advice lol but I learned a *lot* in my first three months - I'm glad I couldn't fast forward them

I do remember feeling and experiencing much the same things tho quitforme - it really does get better...

some of us have dig some pretty deep holes for ourselves - it takes a little time effort - and patience - to climb out back to the top

Just keep moving forward - and lean on the support here

and congratulations on 3 days!
D

808state

How you doing quitforme? Have you had a good day? I started back at college today! I'm doing a language course, learning Swedish, seemed practical as that's where I now live

Hope you're ok, best wishes Hayley

skinnywater

Hang tough, you can stay strong. Im on day two and know how hard it is to give in. Dont, your too strong.