Another newbie
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: S/w england
Posts: 26
Another newbie
Not sure ive im doing this in the right place,but here goes..currently I am in therapy for my very loooooong and if im honest distructive relationship with alcohol..im finding that one hour a week(although free)isnt enough.and thought I could try and reach out in a few other ways.ive had an abusive complicated life from day 1 really,i am nearly 40 now,and alcohol,on a binge basis has been a symptom of alot of turmoil and emotional pain.,.as we know though,drinking to "self medicate"often the sy.mptom and starts to become the catalys
Catalyist(sorry phone typo) ive actualy had another far more disabling addiction to benzodiazepines,which has been totaly life altering and in a different realm entirely from booze,but it is fair to say I may well have never have aquired an addiction to benzos if I had not used them to medicate the anxiety caused by drinking...sooooooo I can trace the root back to that.i do not know what my life would be like without alcohol for mire than say,4 months at a time,since I was around 13 or 14 years old. The last few months however ive been doing great with*
A more controled aproach.i havnt been on a bender(that is to say continuos drinking for two days or more)for several months.and feel I have a good grip on that aspect of things.but I still get drunk once a month or so,and it is still I feel not enough.deep down I would love to not drink for atleast a year while I clear my head and work through issuea of abuse.but it is very hard.i have used drink as a kind of counceller for a very long time.i believe it has caused a kind of low grade continual depression,and now when I drink,after a certain amount I will automaticaly slip into a tearful and depressed state.i know this is my mind and bodies way of saying enough is enough,time to find a new way.i am blessed to be in this world,to still be here after all the crazy things ive done to myself,i love life but because of some of the things ivw been through,i struggle..anyway enough of that! Lol ,i would love to speak to anyone here who has similar issues..maybe who has decided on controled drinking or abstinence.how do you cope?what kind of things help you?
Catalyist(sorry phone typo) ive actualy had another far more disabling addiction to benzodiazepines,which has been totaly life altering and in a different realm entirely from booze,but it is fair to say I may well have never have aquired an addiction to benzos if I had not used them to medicate the anxiety caused by drinking...sooooooo I can trace the root back to that.i do not know what my life would be like without alcohol for mire than say,4 months at a time,since I was around 13 or 14 years old. The last few months however ive been doing great with*
A more controled aproach.i havnt been on a bender(that is to say continuos drinking for two days or more)for several months.and feel I have a good grip on that aspect of things.but I still get drunk once a month or so,and it is still I feel not enough.deep down I would love to not drink for atleast a year while I clear my head and work through issuea of abuse.but it is very hard.i have used drink as a kind of counceller for a very long time.i believe it has caused a kind of low grade continual depression,and now when I drink,after a certain amount I will automaticaly slip into a tearful and depressed state.i know this is my mind and bodies way of saying enough is enough,time to find a new way.i am blessed to be in this world,to still be here after all the crazy things ive done to myself,i love life but because of some of the things ivw been through,i struggle..anyway enough of that! Lol ,i would love to speak to anyone here who has similar issues..maybe who has decided on controled drinking or abstinence.how do you cope?what kind of things help you?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,466
Hi and Welcome,
Many of us use alcohol as self-medication for various physical and emotional problems. I think it's fair to say that it always ends up making things worse. And, yes, alcohol is a depressant and it does affect us. I think your plan of stopping drinking for a year at least is a good one.
Many of us use alcohol as self-medication for various physical and emotional problems. I think it's fair to say that it always ends up making things worse. And, yes, alcohol is a depressant and it does affect us. I think your plan of stopping drinking for a year at least is a good one.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,366
Hi and welcome missqp 
Having been there, I absolutely agree that self medication with alcohol is not the best way to go....I too had anxiety and depression issues that were actually exacerbated by drinking, not solved by it.
I think a year off, completely, is a great aim - I'd forget notions of controlled drinking - I think for most of us that's a stop we've gone past a ways back.
You'll find a lot of support here - are you thinking of real life support as well?
D
Having been there, I absolutely agree that self medication with alcohol is not the best way to go....I too had anxiety and depression issues that were actually exacerbated by drinking, not solved by it.
I think a year off, completely, is a great aim - I'd forget notions of controlled drinking - I think for most of us that's a stop we've gone past a ways back.
You'll find a lot of support here - are you thinking of real life support as well?
D
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: S/w england
Posts: 26
Hi girls,isnt it so incredably bloody annoying when youve written out a huge reply,only to be kicked out and lose it all!arrgghh...
Basicaly what you are all saying is correct,its just I have a rebellious teen living in my head..and issues with commitment lol..i have a lot of awareness around my "relationship"with alcohol..christ knows ive analised it enough ,im sure you can all relate ;-) I have delt with another very very debilitating addiction,and I know absaloutley(i really do) that I will never go back..but theres just something about alcohol im so scared to let go of..ive been in so many different zones mentaly from various substances,and would love to be brave enough to try a new one out..sobriety!i can do it for weeks,i can also manage cravings..but then I will just decide I want to get pissed,for various reasons and boom!
Its boring....
cravings..much of the time I dont feel like drinking then out of the blue..that desire to get pi
Basicaly what you are all saying is correct,its just I have a rebellious teen living in my head..and issues with commitment lol..i have a lot of awareness around my "relationship"with alcohol..christ knows ive analised it enough ,im sure you can all relate ;-) I have delt with another very very debilitating addiction,and I know absaloutley(i really do) that I will never go back..but theres just something about alcohol im so scared to let go of..ive been in so many different zones mentaly from various substances,and would love to be brave enough to try a new one out..sobriety!i can do it for weeks,i can also manage cravings..but then I will just decide I want to get pissed,for various reasons and boom!
Its boring....
cravings..much of the time I dont feel like drinking then out of the blue..that desire to get pi
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: S/w england
Posts: 26
Ps,please excuse the typos,my phone isnt behaving..also to dee,yes im having psychotherapy to deal with underlying emotional issues..its helping a bit but a struggle to open up..give me a bottle and I can cry for england,again im sure you are familiar with that one!oh and thankyou very much for the lovely welcome..x
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
