Sheneedshelp

Does the sight and appearance of alcohol just plain drive you crazy if you're a family member of close friend of an alcoholic? My daughter is an alocholic, my husband used to drink frequently but he's greatly slowed down since Amber started to drink as heavily as she does because he has trouble doing it.

But early tonight my husband decided to have a beer. It was one can of Coors Light, he wasn't gonna get drunk off he just wanted to drink it. I usually have no problem with that, but tonight was different I just kept staring at it and it made me think of picture I saw of Amber on facebook **** faced drunk, top hanging low boobs hanging out, leaned up on her friend kissing her on the cheek with a coors light in her hand. Then another one of her in a hotub giving a guy a lapdance with a coors light in the background then I thought about all the times I've seen her drunk smelling like beer wondering if it was coors light that got her that messed up. It just brought up all the memories that are realistically still probably occuring of my daughter and alcohol.

So I started crying and grabbed the beer out of my husband's hand dumped it and then went dumped the rest in the garage crying. My husband calmed me down and we talked about it and I'm better now. But I just can't the sight of beer anymore. Does this happen to anyone else

SoaringSpirits

Yes.

Just tonight my AH was visiting (we are separated). I walked into the kitchen and saw a full, amber colored bottle with a long neck on the counter and felt suddenly faint and my stomach felt sick. It was so strange. Then I realized my husband had been kind enough to pick up a olive oil for me and had left it on the counter.

It's like I'm having flashbacks. I'll see a bottle of IPA beer or a half-full bottle of wine or a wine glass with a little wine dried in the bottom and I'll feel the blood drain from my head for a second, or will feel sick and get a little sweaty. It's things like this that make me realize just how much the alcoholism has impacted my life at every level.

Fandy

i think it's just a trigger....your brain flashes on something that is so reminiscent of the terrible pain you've gone through....i'm sure your husband feels like this too, maybe if he wants an occasional beer, he could drink something different or just buy them singley so they don't hang around the fridge.

m1k3

Not anymore. Since I've started al-anon I have managed to work past those issues. A beer is just a beer. I accepted it wasn't the beer that was the issue, it was my AW and how I reacted to her drinking those beers. She is an addict and that is what addicts do. I no longer monitor, try to control or even care that much if she drinks or not. Moving out has helped with this a lot also.

Your friend,

Tuffgirl

I am with Mike...it's not a trigger. Now, if I happen to be downtown on a weekend night and see a bunch of drunk people milling around, I wince a little and steer clear.

wellnowwhat

Normally for me it's not a trigger.

Sometimes, though, when my adult kids want to party I get a cold fear that maybe they are following AH's footsteps and just for a minute I panic. I have to remind myself not to awfulize and know that they already know the pitfalls of being a child of an alcoholic and do not need to hear it from me one more time.

dawnie24

It might be, because you saw your daughter do these provoctive things and you don't wanna see her doin it esp when she's **** faced postin these pictures on her facebook page

Sheneedshelp

I guess trigger would be the word for it. I don't look at her facebook anymore. I have little contact with Amber and her partying. I try my best to turn a blind eye to the amount of alcohol shes consumes and. How drunk she gets and that look on her face I've seen too many times on facebook and in person where her eyes are half closed her cheeks are red and that big dumb drunk smile. I pretend I haven't seen pictures of her bare butt or that I've seen her at age 19 in her underwear laying on my kitchen floor. I try to pretend that's not all there but I know the cause of all of it is alcohol. And I guess seeing my husband drink brings that all back. I hate it

lillamy

Yeah, I'm with Mike too, but it took time to get there. I went through a stage of "I'm going to have a glass of wine if I want to dangit because I'm not the one who has a problem with alcohol" and a stage of "I'm not allowing alcohol in my home because it's a debilitating disgusting drug that I will have no association with" and probably several other stages that I didn't identify...

... but I've gotten to a place where alcohol is... sort of just there. I rarely drink, but I don't deliberately NOT drink, if that makes sense. If I want a glass of wine instead of my usual Diet Coke, I'll have one, just like if I feel like ordering the BLT instead of the turkey sandwich, I will.

For me, it all came with recovery and detachment and the realization that Mike talked about -- that it wasn't about the alcohol, it was about the addict.

But somehow, I feel like it might be more than one degree harder when it's your child instead of your spouse.

Cyranoak

Are you going to Alanon yet? I feel like you evade Alanon. Am I wrong? Was I wrong on all of your other strings?

Cyranoak

cranapple

Yes, I had a "crazy" episode tonight myself. My ABF didn't drink for 8 days straight and claimed he was done. (Yeah I knew that wouldn't last) He started drinking more last week and we had a long talk Saturday of me crying and telling him how much it upsets me etc. He actually acted like he cared for once and didn't drink Sunday. Well guess what! I came home from work last night and could tell by his voice and his eyes that the had been drinking. I looked in his hiding spots and found an empty pint of vodka and I stewed to myself but didn't say anything. Tonight I come home from work and I can smell it in his pores just standing next to him so I looked around again, found his pint of almost empty vodka. This time I was completely immature and I poured it out into the sink and filled it back to where it was with water. He figured it out and we've been arguing ever since. I'm just so hurt and fed up! I hate feeling so stuck here.

So yes, Alchohol drives me crazy!