All inclusive dilemma
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 81
All inclusive dilemma
Hey everyone! I am one sleep short of 8 months of sobriety 
I have been talking about going on a trip with my boyfriend to somewhere tropical. The best deal we can get is to go to an all inclusive. This brings me anxiety mainly because the last two times I went to an all inclusive resort, I didn't remember half of my trip. It was solely focused around alcohol.
This future trip would obviously be very different, and I'm looking forward to getting away with him. I just can't help but think about what MAY happen- I know I won't drink, but it doesn't change the fact that being in that environment may spark some emotions. I really want to have that perfect, romantic getaway, and I don't want my alcoholism to ruin something that could be so much fun.
By the time we go, in February, it will be exactly one year of sobriety for me (if any of you have read my first post, you'll know that in February I went to Mexico and drank my face off, which was sort of my 'rock bottom').
I guess I'm just looking for your opinions on how to have fun and not let my alcoholism affect that, and how long you've waited to put yourself in a situation like this. Thanks!
I should also mention that my boyfriend does not drink either.
-Jil
I have been talking about going on a trip with my boyfriend to somewhere tropical. The best deal we can get is to go to an all inclusive. This brings me anxiety mainly because the last two times I went to an all inclusive resort, I didn't remember half of my trip. It was solely focused around alcohol.
This future trip would obviously be very different, and I'm looking forward to getting away with him. I just can't help but think about what MAY happen- I know I won't drink, but it doesn't change the fact that being in that environment may spark some emotions. I really want to have that perfect, romantic getaway, and I don't want my alcoholism to ruin something that could be so much fun.
By the time we go, in February, it will be exactly one year of sobriety for me (if any of you have read my first post, you'll know that in February I went to Mexico and drank my face off, which was sort of my 'rock bottom').
I guess I'm just looking for your opinions on how to have fun and not let my alcoholism affect that, and how long you've waited to put yourself in a situation like this. Thanks!
I should also mention that my boyfriend does not drink either.
-Jil
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Hello!
Congratulations on almost 8 months! That is quite the accomplishment, well done.
I haven't been in that exact situation before, however from my understanding there are all inclusive getaways that do not include the cost of alcohol. Have you checked to see if anything like that might be available? If you could find something like that I'm guessing it might be more enjoyable for you as well -- less drunken mobs wandering around all over the place.
Generally speaking, my personal experience has proven to me that avoiding situations where you feel like you may be tempted to drink is generally the best way to preserve your sobriety. If all else fails would you be able to look int other vacationing options or are you pretty set on a tropical getaway?
Best of luck
Congratulations on almost 8 months! That is quite the accomplishment, well done.
I haven't been in that exact situation before, however from my understanding there are all inclusive getaways that do not include the cost of alcohol. Have you checked to see if anything like that might be available? If you could find something like that I'm guessing it might be more enjoyable for you as well -- less drunken mobs wandering around all over the place.
Generally speaking, my personal experience has proven to me that avoiding situations where you feel like you may be tempted to drink is generally the best way to preserve your sobriety. If all else fails would you be able to look int other vacationing options or are you pretty set on a tropical getaway?
Best of luck
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
February's a long way off Jil - are you sure you want to start worrying about this now?
Just because a holiday is all inclusive doesn't mean we have to drink the bar dry
If you're worried tho I'm sure you could find alternative holiday packages - even if they are a little more expensive.....there are even sober holidays available so I'm told.
I forget - is your bf supportive of your recovery?
D
Just because a holiday is all inclusive doesn't mean we have to drink the bar dry
If you're worried tho I'm sure you could find alternative holiday packages - even if they are a little more expensive.....there are even sober holidays available so I'm told.
I forget - is your bf supportive of your recovery?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: South Wales, UK
Posts: 27
Just try and think in simple terms, do I order a drink or don't I? The answer is, no I don't.
Just keep making the same choice you have been making for the last 8 months. Just because it appears to be 'free' shouldn't make a difference.
Just keep making the same choice you have been making for the last 8 months. Just because it appears to be 'free' shouldn't make a difference.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Coastal VA
Posts: 50
Hmmmm I can see your cause for concern, but in my experience the "Type" of resort your going to makes a HUGE difference. I absolutely LOVE the Caribbean and try to go at least once a year, usually to Jamaica because it's cheap and I'm a total Reggae nutt. I've been all around that Island as well as spending lots of time in Puerto Rico, St Thomas, St Martin, Kits, Nevis, Tortola and Bermuda when I was essentially living out of a back pack and travelling. Each island has a very distinct vibe, and each resort very distinct.
One of the things I've noticed is a very distinct trend in family oriented resorts where the vibe is very tame, and although the booze is there it's hardly the focus. On the flip side there are resorts, and party spots that are totally the opposite where the focus is on PARTY 24/7. Those are the places to avoid, stay out of Rick's Cafe in Jamaica, and the fullmoon parties at Bomba's Shack on Tortola.
There's always a ton of things to do at the nice all inclusive resorts, sailing, diving, tennis, golf, and trips you can take to surf, horseback ride, zipline, ropes course, on and on. You can keep yourself busy enough that persuing drink isn't a priority.
In your daily life drink is never far away either, but you've done a great job of avoiding it. If you pick a Couples or Family resort it shouldn't be any harder than it is at home, just stay out of the Adult only places, and keep yourself actively engaged in enjoying all the caribb has to offer.
Ah and my vote for an unforgetable, romantic getaway is The Sandals "Whitehouse" resort in Jamaica. It's tucked away in the middle of the relatively untouched South coast of Jamaica, and it's gorgeous. The South coast is by far the nicest stretch of Ocean/Beach on the island, and it's devoid of the Construction/Tourism industry sans a very few small spots. It's a couples only resort with a super mellow vibe. They really are there to cater to making sure couples have an unforgetable time.
If you go to the "Whitehouse", and you want to take a really cool excursion into old Jamaica, and try surfing, look up Jamnesia surf camp. The owner is a great guy and the grandfather of Jamaican surfing, Billy Wilmot. They'll pick you up, take you up the coast, show you the Jamaica few folks get to see, take you surfing (spots depend on your ability level), and feed you profusely. Momma Wilmot is a serious cooker mon, and "Uncle Billy" will show you that "One Love" isn't a catch phrase it's a lifestyle. Awesome folks. If it weren't for my oldest son being born I'd likely still have the same backpack, and still be travelling around the islands. The caribbean is a magic place, booze not needed to have an amazing time. But be forwarned it'll etch a little soft spot into your heart, and you'll be planning return trips before you've even left.
One of the things I've noticed is a very distinct trend in family oriented resorts where the vibe is very tame, and although the booze is there it's hardly the focus. On the flip side there are resorts, and party spots that are totally the opposite where the focus is on PARTY 24/7. Those are the places to avoid, stay out of Rick's Cafe in Jamaica, and the fullmoon parties at Bomba's Shack on Tortola.
There's always a ton of things to do at the nice all inclusive resorts, sailing, diving, tennis, golf, and trips you can take to surf, horseback ride, zipline, ropes course, on and on. You can keep yourself busy enough that persuing drink isn't a priority. In your daily life drink is never far away either, but you've done a great job of avoiding it. If you pick a Couples or Family resort it shouldn't be any harder than it is at home, just stay out of the Adult only places, and keep yourself actively engaged in enjoying all the caribb has to offer.
Ah and my vote for an unforgetable, romantic getaway is The Sandals "Whitehouse" resort in Jamaica. It's tucked away in the middle of the relatively untouched South coast of Jamaica, and it's gorgeous. The South coast is by far the nicest stretch of Ocean/Beach on the island, and it's devoid of the Construction/Tourism industry sans a very few small spots. It's a couples only resort with a super mellow vibe. They really are there to cater to making sure couples have an unforgetable time.
If you go to the "Whitehouse", and you want to take a really cool excursion into old Jamaica, and try surfing, look up Jamnesia surf camp. The owner is a great guy and the grandfather of Jamaican surfing, Billy Wilmot. They'll pick you up, take you up the coast, show you the Jamaica few folks get to see, take you surfing (spots depend on your ability level), and feed you profusely. Momma Wilmot is a serious cooker mon, and "Uncle Billy" will show you that "One Love" isn't a catch phrase it's a lifestyle. Awesome folks. If it weren't for my oldest son being born I'd likely still have the same backpack, and still be travelling around the islands. The caribbean is a magic place, booze not needed to have an amazing time. But be forwarned it'll etch a little soft spot into your heart, and you'll be planning return trips before you've even left.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,477
I wouldn't choose an all-inclusive (unless it was family-oriented) for myself, because I think those resorts tend to revolve around drinking by the pool in the day and drinking in the bar in the evening. Is this a place where you can take lots of day trips and leave the resort? That would be helpful.
Enjoy your vacation.
Enjoy your vacation.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 223
When I was planning my vacation I ran into the same thing. It seems cheaper to do the all inclusive thing. I was worried the free liquor would be too much for me to handle in early sobriety and I'd spend the whole time obsessing over it. I decided to opt out of the all inclusive package and book everything separately. That way I can do my own thing and maybe later when I'm feeling more confident with my sobriety, try it different.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 174
When booking, contact the resort directly and make sure that they mark you for no liquor in the room - including the minibar (part of the package usually).
Once, I ordered an Absolute on the rocks from room service and they brought me a litre bottle and a bucket of ice. LOL. They think differently down there.
Once, I ordered an Absolute on the rocks from room service and they brought me a litre bottle and a bucket of ice. LOL. They think differently down there.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 51
Sorry. I wouldn't do it. We don't need the "all-inclusive" thing as financially reasonable as it is. Just not worth it. However, you might be stronger than I am. Have a great trip- whatever you choose!
GoMan
GoMan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 81
My boyfriend is incredibly supportive. He hasn't drank since February either.
I wish I had the funds to just plan whatever type of vacation I wanted, but since both of us are in University we have to watch our spending. I think an all inclusive is the best because it does include flights and stay. And I'm considering it now because it has to be booked! I just don't want the vacation to be ruined by the thought of wishing I could be drinking, and that I'm missing out on something. But on the other hand, I really want to go somewhere!!!!
I wish I had the funds to just plan whatever type of vacation I wanted, but since both of us are in University we have to watch our spending. I think an all inclusive is the best because it does include flights and stay. And I'm considering it now because it has to be booked! I just don't want the vacation to be ruined by the thought of wishing I could be drinking, and that I'm missing out on something. But on the other hand, I really want to go somewhere!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 112
Jil, I actually had my last drink in February as well, and already have a trip booked in the second week of February with my amazing girlfirend to Saint Martin. Ours is not all-inclusive, but I have had the thoughts that you are having. I think checking with the hotel as to if there is any liquor in the room is a great idea, and if so then ask nicely to have it removed on your arrival. From there you should just plan on enjoying yourself. You have made good decisions this far!! I think a lot of times I find myself worrying too much and it is just wasted energy, everything is just the way it is suppsoed to be at this very moment. Just remember that you are going with someone that loves and supports you, so if you ever feel uncomfortable just let him know and at that point the two of you will deal with the situation together. Concentrate on the fact that you are going to get to go on an amazing vacation and that you will be able to experience everything with a clear mind and remember everything that you do!! I keep telling myself that and I am just pure excited to go, and not worried. I hope that you have a great trip!
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