GettingBy

I'm in a funk today... nothing really of significance, other than that big black cloud of divorce that looms. I do have lots of good things going on so I figured I'd come here and post a gratitude list to pull myself up out of the "ick" I'm stewing in!!

So here it is...

1. I'm grateful for my beautiful little girl, and her pretty little smile, and her unconditional love for me (even when I feel I'm struggle as her mom). I'm so proud of her and can't tell her enough.

2. I'm grateful for my handsome, funny and charming little son. He tells me (almost daily and usually out of the blue!), "You're so pretty Mommy!!" I don't know why he does it - he sure hasn't heard my STBXAH say it... but I'm grateful he does say it. I feel so loved and adored

3. I'm grateful for my career. I had one of my job interviews yesterday. It was far better than I expected!! I was worried about the job requiring lots of travel - it requires NONE! What they are looking for is exactly what I want in a job! We are going to work through the details (salary, benefits, vacation) over the next few weeks. Hopefully have an offer solidified by mid-November! I have another job interview tomorrow... and am excited about what kind of job offer may come from that.

4. I'm grateful that no matter which job I end up with - I will be able to support myself!

5. I'm grateful for my recovery which has allowed me to stay detached from STBXAH anger. He's been in full on blame mode lately. Nit-picking every thing I say and do - and jumping all over me every chance he gets. It sucks - but I no longer take it personally. I know I'm fine just the way I am. His anger - is all his.

6. I'm grateful that I can rise above the crap being flung at me. I'm so glad that I am not participating by flinging crap back. I'm treating my STBXAH with dignity and respect - no matter how he treats me. I'm proud of myself.

7. I'm grateful that my life is changing. It's scary - and there are times that I just want to be done with the divorce, have the house sold, and onto my new life... but because of my recovery, I know now to have patience. Sit with this discomfort - trust the process - do the footwork - and LET GO. I know that I am going to be okay.

I have a lot to be grateful for today. I'm still sad, and a bit down and out... but this too shall pass. Thanks for listening!
Shannon

Tuffgirl

GB,
I had an afternoon like yours yesterday, and writing out my gratitude really helped. I also wrote out all the good things I can remember people saying to me, as a way to counter the bad things my husband has said. I walked away from that exercise feeling much better and far more focused.

You sound very healthy and centered. That's awesome! And the job interviews, wow, good for you! Sounds as if you are on the right path as doors are already opening up.

Hang in there - you have a lot to look forward to!
~T

jessiec

Wonderful attitude! You have a lot to be thankful for. As do all those people whose lives you bless!

bonami

What a great list! You do have a lot to be thankful for. I also try to find the "silver lining" when things get cloudy in my life; if I can find at least one good thing about a situation, sometimes that is all I need.

matilda17

Thanks for the list! I have been hunting for the answer to this on the boards and can't seem to find it, so sorry if it's off-topic, but what does STBXAH stand for?

GettingBy

STBXAH... soon to be ex alcoholic husband

stepsforward

Good for you. I am sure it feels good to have a positive additude. Keep it up

Alone22

GB you sound SO healthy! I know you are going through a lot right now and your ability to keep your chin up is amazing. I enjoy reading your posts because there always seems to be something that helps me learn and grow myself. I got a sharp reminder this past week that I have a long way to go in healing myself. It didn't take much to rock my boat and get me all spinning again. I have been trying hard this week to regain my focus even with the drama in my life. I started to taste what serenity feels like and I want more.

lillamy

Shannon,

THANK YOU for sharing that list! I saw it yesterday on my phone and it wouldn't let me respond. But I really needed that nudge to change my perspective as I had had yet another run-in with my AXH that had me probably smoking out of my ears, that's how mad I was.

But your post helped me refocus and remember that I have all the power over my own attitudes and moods and that his antics can only affect me as much as I let them.

So I made my own list, in my head, and I have a lot to be grateful for.

GettingBy

Tonight, I am yet again grateful... Grateful for my recovery and strength. My AH is finally sitting down to start (yes, just now start!!) his net worth statement (mine was done 4 MONTHS ago!). Heck, I even gave him a copy of MINE... And he still couldn't get it done.

And so tonight, he sat at the kitchen table... Angry... Bitching... Pissing and moaning. Angrily asking me questions. I would try to answer and he would cut me off... Telling me that I'm doing it all wrong. After the second time he did it... I sat back down on the couch and finished watching Jeopardy.

He says he wants to work amicably.... But action speak louder than words. For my sake and sanity... I will continue to communicate through my attorney... Cuz my AH is ******* crazy.

Thanks for listening... I'm grateful to be moving on.