Having an angry day today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 386
Having an angry day today
Today I'm just feeling angry. I'm angry my BF has problems with alcohol. I'm angry at myself for putting up with unacceptable behavior. I'm angry at him for trying to make text apologies and small talk when he blew me off all weekend (I'm not responding. Told him when he calls me I will listen but I would not text.) I'm just angry today. And needed to vent. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Sometimes we have to listen to our anger because it is trying to tell us something. I think you already know what your anger is trying to tell you:
"I'm angry at myself for putting up with unacceptable behavior."
"I'm angry at myself for putting up with unacceptable behavior."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Tuffgirl is correct. Sounds to me as if you are reaching your limit. (That is a good thing)
We all reach our threshhold. We no longer choose to be consumed by the alcoholic's ridiculous, selfish, out of control, selfish actions.
Going no contact was for me. It allowed me to end the madness. I was sick and tired of listening to his manipulative, useless rants. He cannot walk all over you like a doormat if you are standing up. Please stand up, empower yourself. Take your life back. This is his problem not yours. You can't save him, so please save yourself.
C'mon girl, we are all cheering for you here, STAND UP!!!!, take care..........
We all reach our threshhold. We no longer choose to be consumed by the alcoholic's ridiculous, selfish, out of control, selfish actions.
Going no contact was for me. It allowed me to end the madness. I was sick and tired of listening to his manipulative, useless rants. He cannot walk all over you like a doormat if you are standing up. Please stand up, empower yourself. Take your life back. This is his problem not yours. You can't save him, so please save yourself.
C'mon girl, we are all cheering for you here, STAND UP!!!!, take care..........
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
jessie, there is no doubt this is a painful and really sucky situation. But when I had that moment...that epiphany of realizing I didn't like ME anymore, because I was tolerating unacceptable behavior, is when I knew the change needed to come from me, not from anyone else.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (anyone else), the courage to change the things I can (me) and the wisdom to know the difference (your anger at yourself is your wisdom talking).
Stay strong - as painful as this all feels right now - it won't always feel this way.
Prayers,
~T
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (anyone else), the courage to change the things I can (me) and the wisdom to know the difference (your anger at yourself is your wisdom talking).
Stay strong - as painful as this all feels right now - it won't always feel this way.
Prayers,
~T
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 110
Each of us has different settings... the spouses in the same house, the ex spouses who have kids to force connect, the abf/agf who is living with someone...and those of us who were never married and not living together. Like you, I am in the last category.
In the midst of my own roller coaster of feelings... I KNOW I AM FORTUNATE. I don't need a lawyer to dig me out of this. I DO need my own strength to recognize my anger at the reality that the common denominator here, is we all thought that we had/have a decent relationship and possible future.
I went back last night and re read my own posts here, as something of a journal. And, realize, that EVEN IF HE HAS STOPPED DRINKING (for who knows how long)...the selfish persons still exists, who has no empathy or responsibility for the drama he created.
There was no drama before he came into my life. And it is obvious, there will no longer be any drama/triangle/etc, when I fully remove myself from the entire thing.
My anger can be summed up in disbelief that I let myself into believing what I was told, and still trying to figure a way to "resolve" the damage. I can't go back and change my own choices. I can choose to forgive myself.
And I can choose today, that it is all in the past, and what he does, from today on, is HIS PROBLEM, not mine.
And once I truly believe and accept that...the anger will evaporate.
In the midst of my own roller coaster of feelings... I KNOW I AM FORTUNATE. I don't need a lawyer to dig me out of this. I DO need my own strength to recognize my anger at the reality that the common denominator here, is we all thought that we had/have a decent relationship and possible future.
I went back last night and re read my own posts here, as something of a journal. And, realize, that EVEN IF HE HAS STOPPED DRINKING (for who knows how long)...the selfish persons still exists, who has no empathy or responsibility for the drama he created.
There was no drama before he came into my life. And it is obvious, there will no longer be any drama/triangle/etc, when I fully remove myself from the entire thing.
My anger can be summed up in disbelief that I let myself into believing what I was told, and still trying to figure a way to "resolve" the damage. I can't go back and change my own choices. I can choose to forgive myself.
And I can choose today, that it is all in the past, and what he does, from today on, is HIS PROBLEM, not mine.
And once I truly believe and accept that...the anger will evaporate.
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