Addictive personality
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: South Wales, UK
Posts: 27
Addictive personality
I was thinking about this term 'addictive personality' on the way to work this morning, as I passed the spot I used to stash my cigarettes so my parents wouldn't find them when I was 15.
I'm 39 now and have been addicted to something, whether it was nicotine, drugs or alcohol since I was 15, so that's the majority of my life.
So, i guess if there is such a thing, I have an addictive personality.
My parents weren't addicts, except to cleaning and discipline! My Dad smoked but he gave that up in the last few years, so where does this personality trait come from I wonder?
Do you think that the addict is born in us or is it a sign of a weak will, because i can be so strong willed when I want to.
I'm not sure if there is such a thing as an addictive personality, is that just an excuse to brush off the things we do, sort of like saying 'Well I just can't help it, it's the way I am' or do you think there are more deep rooted reasons in all of us why we rely on substance to make us feel better, e.g. emotion, rebellion, even boredom???
Sorry if the moderators think this is in the wrong forum, but i feel safe in here ;-)
I'm 39 now and have been addicted to something, whether it was nicotine, drugs or alcohol since I was 15, so that's the majority of my life.
So, i guess if there is such a thing, I have an addictive personality.
My parents weren't addicts, except to cleaning and discipline! My Dad smoked but he gave that up in the last few years, so where does this personality trait come from I wonder?
Do you think that the addict is born in us or is it a sign of a weak will, because i can be so strong willed when I want to.
I'm not sure if there is such a thing as an addictive personality, is that just an excuse to brush off the things we do, sort of like saying 'Well I just can't help it, it's the way I am' or do you think there are more deep rooted reasons in all of us why we rely on substance to make us feel better, e.g. emotion, rebellion, even boredom???
Sorry if the moderators think this is in the wrong forum, but i feel safe in here ;-)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I definitely don't think addiction is a the sign of a weak will 
I don't think my addictions came from anywhere else - as long as I can remember I wanted to escape from reality...you don't need to be Sigmund Freud to join the dots from there
D
I don't think my addictions came from anywhere else - as long as I can remember I wanted to escape from reality...you don't need to be Sigmund Freud to join the dots from there
D
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
I'm an addict. That's what I call exactly what you've described...
I'm not a weak person by any means -- in fact, addicts/alcoholics (I qualify as both) have some of the strongest characters I've ever known -- but a life-threatening problem with lack of power over drugs/alcohol.
My own experience is that will power is absolutely not sufficient to get me to stop or moderate once I've put alcohol/other drugs into my system, and will power is absolutely not sufficient to get me to stay stopped.
I have failed far, far too many times in those arenas to believe that I will ever be able to use/drink like other people ever again (and I'm good with that today -- in fact, I love it).
My current belief is that addiction comes from a combination of genes and conditions.
Either way, what matters more than anything is that I understand I've got it -- a physical, mental, spiritual condition that I truly believe will take me to the bitter ends, jails, institutions or death, if I don't treat it appropriately.
What matters is what I do about it today.
I'm not a weak person by any means -- in fact, addicts/alcoholics (I qualify as both) have some of the strongest characters I've ever known -- but a life-threatening problem with lack of power over drugs/alcohol.
My own experience is that will power is absolutely not sufficient to get me to stop or moderate once I've put alcohol/other drugs into my system, and will power is absolutely not sufficient to get me to stay stopped.
I have failed far, far too many times in those arenas to believe that I will ever be able to use/drink like other people ever again (and I'm good with that today -- in fact, I love it).
My current belief is that addiction comes from a combination of genes and conditions.
Either way, what matters more than anything is that I understand I've got it -- a physical, mental, spiritual condition that I truly believe will take me to the bitter ends, jails, institutions or death, if I don't treat it appropriately.
What matters is what I do about it today.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
If by "addictive personality" you mean prone to addiction, you've described me. I think it can start differently in each of us. With me, addiction is an escapist-type behaviour. Before I was addicted to alcohol, drugs and tobacco, I was addicted to video games, sexual gratification, and even cleaning my room, in a very obsessive-compulsive way. If I found a feeling of elation or satisfaction, I did all I could do to keep the feeling going. Whatever it took to keep that pleasurable feeling in my life. I don't think I can call it escaping my reality as much as trying to define my reality in obsessive ways.
When my behavior turned to substance abuse, the substances trumped the other satisfying feelings and became my new obsession. High was the new reality. But, that can only be sustained in our fragile human bodies for so long before we start to fall apart. We can ignore our demise with more escape until one day, we are at our bottom, and have no recourse but to face the mirror, and change, or eventually die. It's fight or flight at that point.
Your question is a good one. It has helped me today. Thanks.
When my behavior turned to substance abuse, the substances trumped the other satisfying feelings and became my new obsession. High was the new reality. But, that can only be sustained in our fragile human bodies for so long before we start to fall apart. We can ignore our demise with more escape until one day, we are at our bottom, and have no recourse but to face the mirror, and change, or eventually die. It's fight or flight at that point.
Your question is a good one. It has helped me today. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
I agree with SteppingItUp, I think that its both a combination of genes and environment,
My father is a functioning alcoholic, his father was (though i do not remember him) but i dont think that this is the only reason for my addictions, merely perhaps a contributing factor.
Like LoftyIdeals I have had and continue to have various addictive behaviors, from drugs and self harm in my teens to alcohol and prescription drugs in my twentys.
There are times when the addictive behavior has not been what people would consider a problem. For instance video games and books, I have at times felt so satisfied/good with/about a particular game or series of fantasy novels, that I binge on them often for days on end, often missing sleep, eating and most definitely work in the process.
All I can do is try to spot it (which doesn't always happen) when I'm doing it and correct it (which is very hard to do) when I can.
good topic
AoS
My father is a functioning alcoholic, his father was (though i do not remember him) but i dont think that this is the only reason for my addictions, merely perhaps a contributing factor.
Like LoftyIdeals I have had and continue to have various addictive behaviors, from drugs and self harm in my teens to alcohol and prescription drugs in my twentys.
There are times when the addictive behavior has not been what people would consider a problem. For instance video games and books, I have at times felt so satisfied/good with/about a particular game or series of fantasy novels, that I binge on them often for days on end, often missing sleep, eating and most definitely work in the process.
All I can do is try to spot it (which doesn't always happen) when I'm doing it and correct it (which is very hard to do) when I can.
good topic
AoS
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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I think a lot of addiction can be habit and the more you feed it the less you develop 'real life' coping skills. I know for me getting sober (a year ago when I was 35) has meant being happy with 'real life' for the first time. I didn't grow up with great models of enjoying life (depression, alcoholism in the home) and have been drinking alcoholically since my late teens.
I somehow managed to get a good job and then get married and have my 3 children. But never did I really enjoy (sober) life. So always.. always that quest for escape was just below the surface.
Now finally I enjoy real life and I see why most people are not alcoholics.
I somehow managed to get a good job and then get married and have my 3 children. But never did I really enjoy (sober) life. So always.. always that quest for escape was just below the surface.
Now finally I enjoy real life and I see why most people are not alcoholics.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: South Wales, UK
Posts: 27
I hope nobody thinks I am trying to trivialise their own addictions, goodness knows I am in no position to do that.
Personally I think my own habits were borne out of a bit of rebellion and just enjoying the feeling I got.
My Dad was very strict (a prison guard) and I think I enjoyed doing something that wasn't approved of. Plus I was always being told what to do, so I think I enjoyed doing something I shouldn't.
From there it became a case of always looking to get high on something, just because I liked that feeling. I stopped doing drugs when I met my wife, and that's when I started drinking instead.
Although I can remember being about 10 years old and saying to my Mother, 'I can't wait until I'm old enough to drink, I love the smell of it.'
I spent a lot of time in a pub as a kid as my Mother worked there and the smell was everywhere, maybe that played a part in planting a seed in my mind.
I guess I'm just trying to understand why I am the way I am.
Personally I think my own habits were borne out of a bit of rebellion and just enjoying the feeling I got.
My Dad was very strict (a prison guard) and I think I enjoyed doing something that wasn't approved of. Plus I was always being told what to do, so I think I enjoyed doing something I shouldn't.
From there it became a case of always looking to get high on something, just because I liked that feeling. I stopped doing drugs when I met my wife, and that's when I started drinking instead.
Although I can remember being about 10 years old and saying to my Mother, 'I can't wait until I'm old enough to drink, I love the smell of it.'
I spent a lot of time in a pub as a kid as my Mother worked there and the smell was everywhere, maybe that played a part in planting a seed in my mind.
I guess I'm just trying to understand why I am the way I am.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Paolo, this is a legitimate question to post; I don't see any trivialization. The answer is probably different for each of us, but there is a common thread that led us to the same point in our lives that we had had enough. I don't believe I'll completely know the answer to this while I'm alive, but it won't stop me from thinking about it, for my own good and for that of my children.
I do know that stopping my drinking 80 days ago has already had a remarkable impact on my life and the lives of my family. That is reason enough to safely ponder this question, knowing that by doing so, my sobriety isn't going to be threatened by me thinking I've got it all figured out now. The intellectual question is important, but the reality of everyday sober living is even more so.
Again, glad you started this thread!
I do know that stopping my drinking 80 days ago has already had a remarkable impact on my life and the lives of my family. That is reason enough to safely ponder this question, knowing that by doing so, my sobriety isn't going to be threatened by me thinking I've got it all figured out now. The intellectual question is important, but the reality of everyday sober living is even more so.
Again, glad you started this thread!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
Originally Posted by LoftyIdeals 
Paolo, this is a legitimate question to post; I don't see any trivialization. The answer is probably different for each of us, but there is a common thread that led us to the same point in our lives that we had had enough. ......
.....
Again, glad you started this thread!
.....
Again, glad you started this thread!
Originally Posted by paulo
I guess I'm just trying to understand why I am the way I am.
Or in fact if a particular 'point in time' i believe effected me, hadnt happened would i be any different,
its good to ponder
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
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P.S. Alcohol is a drug.
P.P.S. When I came to that place when I couldn't live with or without alcohol/other drugs, or substitution, or substitutive behaviors, without hurting, I thought I wanted sobriety. It turns out, I needed recovery. Very different in my experience...
P.P.S. When I came to that place when I couldn't live with or without alcohol/other drugs, or substitution, or substitutive behaviors, without hurting, I thought I wanted sobriety. It turns out, I needed recovery. Very different in my experience...
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I don't give any credence to the pop psychological term 'addicted personality'. I do believe there are many ways to live life in a low-functional or dysfunctional manner tho. Addiction is one of them.
I think its more helpful at first, to understand what can be done to arrest an addiction that to try to figure it all and then do something about it.
I think its more helpful at first, to understand what can be done to arrest an addiction that to try to figure it all and then do something about it.
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Originally Posted by Zencat
I don't give any credence to the pop psychological term 'addicted personality'. I do believe there are many ways to live life in a low-functional or dysfunctional manner tho. Addiction is one of them.
I think its more helpful at first, to understand what can be done to arrest an addiction that to try to figure it all and then do something about it.
I think its more helpful at first, to understand what can be done to arrest an addiction that to try to figure it all and then do something about it.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Hmm well from what I have read , and there is a lot of research to do in the area of addictions , it appears to be a mix of nature and nurture. Part of this seems to be genetics and part from the environment but there is no definitive answers but a lot of clues. Many twins studies were identical twins are separated at birth and raised in different homes found that both twins ended up in a substance use issue so that kind of vies for genetics. This included cases were none of the adoptive parents had a substance use issue so moving the nurture angel aside a bit ....but peers and other factors influence how we think and what we do as teens.
I would not say this is a personality thing but more a situation that you may be more susceptible to becoming addicted for a number of genetic and then environment reasons. I know alcoholism runs in my family. Alcohol and other drugs can do all sorts of rearranging of brain chemistry and seems for some of us , that creates an addiction and for others it does not.
Do your subtance use affect your personality , it sure does. So I would say the personality gets driven by the substance and not the other way around.
For myself , I had issues before I had a drink and a drink seemed to create a solution to the problem. That started things. I was not addicted to alcohol until I actually used alcohol for a period of time. I never really smoked tobacco till 18 and now I have tried to quit a pile of times.
My $0.02
I would not say this is a personality thing but more a situation that you may be more susceptible to becoming addicted for a number of genetic and then environment reasons. I know alcoholism runs in my family. Alcohol and other drugs can do all sorts of rearranging of brain chemistry and seems for some of us , that creates an addiction and for others it does not.
Do your subtance use affect your personality , it sure does. So I would say the personality gets driven by the substance and not the other way around.
For myself , I had issues before I had a drink and a drink seemed to create a solution to the problem. That started things. I was not addicted to alcohol until I actually used alcohol for a period of time. I never really smoked tobacco till 18 and now I have tried to quit a pile of times.
My $0.02
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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I feel like I have an addictive personality - if I have something I like I can obsess over it - from food, to music, to alcohol, to a class... Im an all or nothing type of person. What I feel like I am starting to realize are my tendencies and recognizing this and being aware is really helping.
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