Vanilla28

was feeling really good about being on my day 8, but all day the craving was like a tight ball in my chest. the first 7 days i was quite happy, and feeling strong and proud. but all day...i dont know, it was just in me. dont know how to describe it, but im sure you all know what im talking about.

anyways..... i gave in stupidly, thinking i could handle just a glass or two, cuz i was doing so good and didnt actually want to drink. i was wrong. had a bottle of wine tonight, feeling pretty bad, but trying not to beat myself up about it, whats done is done. all i can do is wake up tomorrow and start again.

still feeling pretty let down right now though. sigh. i knew better, but did it anyways. argh.

eJoshua

I'm sorry that you relapsed. As you said, there's nothing to do but to get up tomorrow and try again. I think we have to mentally prepare ourselves for the fact that cravings will come and not every day will be easy. That was hard for me to understand when I first started trying to get sober.

Best wishes to you!

Vanilla28

thanks josh! ive been through this process a couple times now. i dont get why i cant get it through my head sometimes. an addiction councelor told me once, if you think a woman remembered how much pain it was to have their first child they would do it again? kinda like how we seem to forget how sucky the withdrawl process is. i dunno, some ppl might not agree. all i can do is wake up tomorrow and remember why i quit in the first place and how good ive been feeling....the upset i feel tonight will pass. sigh.

Dee74

Hi Vanilla

maybe next time you feel that tight ball in your chest - come here and post about it first?

I relapsed over and over for 15 years. Eventually I had to face the choice of either doing something different or doing the same old thing over and over again.

I'm glad I came here and gained support. SR saved my butt more than once, y'know?

D

Shygirl

I also had a hard time yesterday....and I mean hard, hard time. It was as if I was tasting the wine, vodka, beer,..ect. And I should of posted yesterday....but my cravings were so intense that I couldn't write about it...So I read! Kept my self on this site SR, oh, and I also read scripture.....If you believe in God he's there and he is real....He helps and forgives us......Read his word it will help you alot.

God Bless Us! Oh and I am on day 6......with many relapses behind me.....I'm praying and I'm not giving up....I know in my heart that someday I will stay sober.