Call from ABF's mom today
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 386
Call from ABF's mom today
I love my ABF's mom. She's a wonderful woman ... who happens to be quite the enabler to both her alcoholic husband and 34-year-old son.
I haven't heard from ABF since an argument yesterday -- I felt like he was pushing me away so he could be alone to drink. He didn't respond to messages from me this morning (when we had plans today). I continued on with my plans.
ABF's mom called to ask me if something had happened. He lives close and was at her house -- he had obviously been drinking (alcohol is always in ample supply there and there are never consequences for drunken actions; everyone turns blind, bloodshot eyes). He had told his Mom he was quitting and has since been trying to hide it from her too. Not today I guess.
Strangely enough, the phone call made me feel better. I don't like hearing he's drinking, but it confirmed to me I'm not crazy. I've allowed myself to get confused and caught up in lies to the point I didn't know what to believe. Today's call was affirmation that my instincts are working just fine!
I haven't heard from ABF since an argument yesterday -- I felt like he was pushing me away so he could be alone to drink. He didn't respond to messages from me this morning (when we had plans today). I continued on with my plans.
ABF's mom called to ask me if something had happened. He lives close and was at her house -- he had obviously been drinking (alcohol is always in ample supply there and there are never consequences for drunken actions; everyone turns blind, bloodshot eyes). He had told his Mom he was quitting and has since been trying to hide it from her too. Not today I guess.
Strangely enough, the phone call made me feel better. I don't like hearing he's drinking, but it confirmed to me I'm not crazy. I've allowed myself to get confused and caught up in lies to the point I didn't know what to believe. Today's call was affirmation that my instincts are working just fine!
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((jessie))) - I've found that my gut is almost always right. When it's not totally right, it was right enough that I didn't get dragged into a situation I didn't want to be.
Sorry his folks enable him, but at some point, you may want less details from his mom. I'm glad it reassured you that you aren't crazy, but in time, hearing about his drinking episodes can drag you down.
I think that's where the saying "let go or be dragged" came along.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Sorry his folks enable him, but at some point, you may want less details from his mom. I'm glad it reassured you that you aren't crazy, but in time, hearing about his drinking episodes can drag you down.
I think that's where the saying "let go or be dragged" came along.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Leonard, Michigan
Posts: 49
I had to break off from my AH's Mom. Alcoholism runs rampant in their family & when i went to her for help in steering her son towards recovery, initially she seemed like she understood what i was saying & wanted to help, but 2 times after that she enabled him (meeting him for dinner & drinking with him) & even let him get on the road & drive while obviously drunk.
My AH & I don't have human kids (only furry ones : ). But i can't come to grips with the thought of him being her child, no matter how old he is, & her being ok with putting himself & innocent people in a situation like that on the road...
My AH & I don't have human kids (only furry ones : ). But i can't come to grips with the thought of him being her child, no matter how old he is, & her being ok with putting himself & innocent people in a situation like that on the road...
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