SunnyinSC

I just got off the phone with a friend and updated her in the happenings of the last 2 weeks. I brought up something that has been especially bothering me this whole week...

I've mentioned before that my ABF and I work together. Well, my boss is very open about talking about the subject with me because she knows I have the "inside information" (well, not so much anymore) and he's worked there for a while so my boss and him are friends so she cares (and is an enabler). Either way, the rules are if my ABF comes to work noticeably intoxicated or smelling of alcohol, then he's to be sent home with a warning, no pay. The next time, he's fired. He's well aware of these consequences and has been for months.

With his recent downfall and subsequently me leaving him, he's turned back to liquor, which he smells like liquor for days after even having a drink of it. It's coming out of his pores...yuck! So the boss has told me after our break off of the relationship to not worry...that she will take care of things with the ABF if anything should need to happen.

Well, 2-3 times this past week she has come to me in the morning about how she smells alcohol on him, but she hasn't done anything! I don't know if she's looking for a reaction from me, advice, comfort, or just needed to let someone know and concur. She constantly tells me that he'd bring the whole company down if he should get into an accident and kill someone. She knows her responsibility, but she sticks her neck out for him (sounds familiar, I know).

I was told by my friend to go to HR about this, but I just don't know what to do. I'm going on with my own life at the moment, and I feel this may be meddling into places I don't need to be anymore.

I will also note that I have made a pact with myself to not speak of him at work any longer unless it's a work related matter and that I am looking for other jobs here and in TN.

I'm tired of being drug down with all the other crazies in my life, and I feel I really need to start over. I feel I'm the only one that has really started dealing with letting my ABF make his own decisions and live his own life. His whole family has now teeter tottered back to enabling him since he's so close (supposedly) to loosing his job. It really makes me wonder if there are any "sane" people out there.

Thanks for listening. I had to get that off my chest.

jessiec

That has to be a difficult situation! You sound incredibly level-headed about everything. I think it is very smart of you to stay out of it as much as possible -- it is his issue. I don't think I'd go to human resources; leave that between him and his boss. Would it be helpful to you if you asked her to stop giving you updates? It sounds like if his behavior continues, it's just a matter of time for him. Here's hoping it doesnt become any more uncomfortable for you.

SunnyinSC

I think it's possible to not speak of his updates, and I think it would be a matter of time until he goes...I also want to leave just because the place is full of hypocties and drunks and druggies. I'd like to have coworkers that are good people to be around, for the most part. It would be a nice change of pace for me personally.

Thank you also for the level-headed comment. That shows that I really have improved myself in the past 2 weeks It's nice to hear that from someone when pretty much everyone in my personal life thinks I've gone off the deep end for breaking it off with such a nice guy or have stayed with this crazy guy for so long.

bonami

It's hard to be in the middle. I do know a bit about what your boss is feeling. I have a responsibility to my small company but I also still care about my long-time RA friend and now former coworker. It's been difficult to watch the events leading up to his departure and even having to prepare some of the paperwork.

So your boss probably feels torn between caring about your ABF and knowing she really has to report him. You may be the only person she could have confided in about that. But that puts you in the middle, too, and it does seem best for YOU if you just stay out of it. And looking for a new job sounds like a good way to help yourself get clear of this situation. Stay strong!

Tuffgirl

Probably should find another job as soon as you can. This place sounds really dysfunctional!