drug

I first learned about heroin when I was asked by my mother to search my older brothers room for paraphernalia. I taught myself about all of the equipment and whatever else I could find on the internet. My older brother has done heroin since I was about 15. Today, he is 21 without a job or a spirit. His use ruined any bit of a relationship we had and we do not speak (even when in the same household). This experience has taught me first hand how the substance ruins perfectly good people's lives. Though he is not the issue.

My lover uses. He is aware that I am uncomfortable with it because of my history with it. I know that being lovers living two hundred miles from each other (as I am in college) I am in no place to try and control him because it would only cause him to lie more. Other than the simple fact that heroin use does not end well for the user or anyone involved with the user which I have a problem with because him and his friend are great people, the issue is heroin's effect on libido.

Since we so far from each other, the little time we get is quite dense and physical. If I am unable to make him ***, why am I even there? His use makes it impossible for me to live up to my role, therefore making me an inferior lover. The positive return from our relationship is SO great it is easy for me to overlook the massive headache and copious tension he added to my life. I fear the only way for me to end my persistent headache is to end my infrequent, yet best of my life, relationship with this guy.

I guess my question to this forum is if I have options other than 1. constantly being skeptically, uncomfortable, inferior, yet pleased, or 2. end the best arrangement I have ever been a part of.

-Torn

dollydo

Why waste your time with this guy? He is an addict and I cannot imagine that being with him is the best part of your life.

You are in school, you are young, get busy living, find yourself a new "bed buddy" and I would suggest that you get tested for STDs, addicts do thing that you cannot even imagine.

Read the stickies at the top of the page, read others posts, the answers are all there.

iliveforyou

Run.

I am a former heroin addict and I can tell you that this is not likely to end well, at all. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. There are plenty of men out there, you deserve someone with whom you can have a complete, meaningful relationship. I agree with dollydo, get checked because addicts can and will do things that you can't even imagine. Look after YOU, you are worth more than to just stick around an addict who's only causing you sh-it in your life.

-Jess

outtolunch

Heroin causes chronic impotence in many men. This is no reflection on you. There's nothing you can do about his impotence or addction.

December2011

Look, girl, you have seen what this did to your brother. You are straying down the long and horrid path of co-dependence with this person. His sexual problems are a result of his drug use. You are better then this, even if you don't think so. My advice would be to move on before more damage to your self worth is done.

One thing that helped me was reading all the "stickies" Read through them-- you will see yourself.

Hang in there, girl.. Hugs

cece1960

I guess I just can't wrap my head around how a relationship that gives you massive headaches and tension, and that makes you feel inferior, skeptical and uncomfortable could possibly be so pleasing?

I'm quite sure that as it is now, it is not the best you will ever have.

hello-kitty

Ummm why are you knowingly have sexual relations with an intraveneous drug user?

keepstrong

I can understand loving and caring about someone, but I find it exceptionally, incredibly, ridiculously hard to comprehend how this situation can be not only the best sex you've ever had, but also a spiritually uplifting experience. Those are two completely unrelated things. Spiritual uplifting is about feeling great in the moment and living toward a positive future. And personally, the best sex I ever had was with someone who, at least at the time, shared my core values, and there was a mutual appreciation and infatuation, with not a lick of mind altering substance available because a boost wasn't needed. Isn't this the opposite of that?

Not judging you, as I lost my way sometime afterwards, but being sober again finally, I can't help but admit to this and feel it necessary to respond.

tjp613

run. run fast. run far.

rose

I am not sure what part of this relationship pleases you, re-read your post as if it was your best girlfriend telling you this about herself and what advise would you be giving her.

Rose