CamilleBelle

It's not fair ... stupid statement but its how I feel.

It's not fair that I'm 27 and know I have a problem

It's not fair that I am scared I will never be able to go dancing or to clubs again

It's not fair that I was picked to have this problem

It's not fair that I cant have a glass of wine at dinner... not just one, but any...

It's not fair that superbowl sunday and beer can't be available to me...

It's not fair that I dont know how to have fun without alcohol

It's not fair that I want to give it up, but cant picture a life without it...

It's not fair that I have to ask my husband, whos a normal drinker to give up all social life he knows to help me...

It's not fair

It's not fair

It's not fair

It's not fair

It's not fair....


It's not fair that I know what I have to do...
It's not fair that all my friends do the same thing, but I admit there is something wrong and want to change things.

WHY IS IT SO FREAKIN HARD TO DO THE RIGHT THING!! IT'S SOOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!

A rant... Sorry... I'm just coming to terms with the reality of what will come of everything. If things were more night and day that would help... but its not that easy...

Off to bed to think...

instant

But ............we can surrender and be free of the struggle............and that is a gift

camedown

It is also not fair to deny yourself the opportunity to become the beautiful person you were meant to be. In time, many of the loves you have in life you will be able to do sober, I too have tons of activities that I'm abstaining from till I am more secure in my sobriety. But a day will come when I will be able to shoot pool again, and kick butt because I'm sober. A day will come when I will wake up on the shore of a mountain lake, and soak in the beauty as only a sober person can. All the things I loved as a drunk will only improve as a sober person, because it will be me, all of me, loving them. Good luck, and keep fighting.


camedown

least

No, it isn't fair, but then what is? I hope you can find strength within yourself to get out of this funk and start feeling better.

Boleo

That is pretty much how I felt until I had a spiritual awakening that removed the desire to drink completely from me. Now I see where it is better to live without the crutch's that drugs and alcohol were providing for me.

You can go to parties and nightclubs again if you have a strong program in place first. You probably won't want to stay late like in your drinking days; but it will be a because you will see how silly it was to hang out with wasted minds.

Mark75

It's not reality if it hasn't come to be yet! You've negatively projected into the future, life will never be fun again, all of that, and decided it's not fair. LOL.



No, it isn't fair... never is. If life were fair...

This journey we are on is one day at a time. Once I quit deciding that I would hate my new life, I began to enjoy it again.

Hang in there!!!

Raptor

I use to also feel as tho im missing out or somehow going to be 'short changed' by not drinking untill.... I finally realised that i was not loosing a best friend... BUT rather loosing my worst enemy which use to trick me, make me do things i was not proud of, fill me with feelings of regret, disgust, anger and self hate.

the way i see things is.... we gain a new best friend.... responsibility, good health, self pride and love, clean good living. With this new friend comes mr trust, love and acceptance.

I too wish you find this awsome new friend, i call SOBRIETY......

1983ritag

I understand the way you feel. I've had those feelings as well. But honestly, I'm so thankful that addiction may be the worst of my problems. I'll take being an addict any day over most other mental health issues. So I'm thankful. That's just the way I see it for myself.

SteppingItUp

Welcome Camille. <3

I feel for you.

I've been there too.

Actually, I might be there a bit today - sober. "It's not fair..." Ha! "Says me!"

Since that way of looking at things leads me to a dead end (just more anger, guilt, shame, blame, self-pity, selfishness, dishonesty, self-seeking, fear) what else can I do?

Let go of old ideas, stop trying to do it all my way, and let a power far greater than me take over...

...'cus that old way is exhausting! And fundamentally, it doesn't work.

I like to look at it this way, as described in a story by Paul O.: "For years I was sure the worst thing that could happen to a nice guy like me would be that I would turn out to be an alcoholic. Today I find it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. This proves I don't know what's good for me."

Looks can be deceiving.

Even on my tougher days, recovery is the greatest gift that has ever happened to me. And I couldn't have gotten here without taking the road I took to get here.

SIU

P. S. I can assure you that I don't feel like I'm missing out on life because I'm sober; I feel like I finally get a chance to live it.

lovelydisaster

I had the same feelings. Why me? Why can't I drink like everyone else? I thought I would feel deprived when with my friends. But it really isn't like that at all! I went to an event this past Saturday and had a blast SOBER!!! And realized my friends really didn't drink that much, and no one cared that I wasn't drinking! It was a wonderful feeling! I still was goofy and fun and laughed my butt off!!! And I wasn't the embarassing drunk girl by then end of the night like I usually became Being sober is totally worth the rewards of having fun and remembering your nights instead of worrying the next day, what you did, who you offended and feeling like crap.

Anna

I don't mean to sound flippant, but starting a Gratitude Journal might be really helpful. If you tell yourself you will write three things to be grateful for every day, then your brain begins to look for those things throughout the day, and your thinking will shift.

soberred

I used to think "It's not fair". Then I realized that no one every said life would be fair.

CamilleBelle

Thanks everybody for your responses. Im getting to a place of accepting things, its just taking time. Your feedback gives me hope and desire to be where you all are!

MrAverage

I'm going to +1 Anna here.. You know what's -really- not fair Camille? It's not fair that you're spending so much time focusing on what you think you can't do while sober instead of what you are now free to do. You're not being fair to yourself. No one here was "picked" to be an alcoholic. No one was forced to make bad decisions. But even the worst decisions in life can lead eventually to a sense of peace and accomplishment in knowing that history will not repeat itself if we learn from those past mistakes.

SteppingItUp

Ah, just one thing as I re-read what I posted -- I was referring to "It's not fair" as it applies to whatever. As far as drinking goes, I have been restored to sanity. Genuinely, no desire whatsoever for a very long time now. You couldn't pay anything to put that stuff in my body today. As was pointed out earlier, when we get well we can go absolutely anywhere if we have good reasons for being there. That is genuinely my experience. So, chin up. Do what it takes to get well and you can get there too.

By the way, the good news? You see recognize your problem and can see it enough to be able to do something about it. Not everyone is so blessed in that regard.

Big hugs,

SIU

Aegian

Hi Camille,

I have said that in life about a lot of things. It isn't fair that kids are born with deformities, or lose a battle with cancer at a young age. It isn't fair that some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth and never have to worry about where they will live or what they will eat. It isn't fair that some people can eat anything and everything and never gain an ounce where others struggle daily with their weight and diet. Discrimination (race, orientation, sex, age) isn't fair, but is something many people deal with day in and day out. It isn't fair that medical issues happen to some and not others, or that people are forced into bankruptcy (losing everything) because their family drew the proverbial short straw and had to deal with a horrific illness.

Nothing about life is fair.

Anna beat me to it, but I would like to state it again: The fastest way out of "its not fair" land is to focus on what you have going for you. Your gratitude list. Once you stop thinking about negative perceptions and refocus on positive, your outlook is going to change tremendously.

I would start with "it isn't fair that I have recognized the personal dangers of alcoholism in time to right my course while others are still mired in the quicksand". Because you have recognized this - and are now in a position to not only do something about it and have the opportunity to live life to your potential - you are way ahead of many in the pack.

wpainterw

Camille: Would it help to look at it this way? Deep inside your brain is a primitive area which has sometimes been called the "lizard" brain. This is responsible for much of your emotional side and, after you became addicted to alcohol, this wants you to resume drinking like in what it considers the "good old days." So it is crying to itself, like a little child, that it's just "not fair" that you can't watch TV and drink beer like all the rest. That lizard is hell bent on getting its alcohol back.
Maybe this is what's "not fair". It's "not fair" that you should be continuously at the mercy of this little runt that wants to prolong your addiction, that's out to defeat every possibility whereby you might have a happy life. That is quite content that you should exchange your soul for beer. It's "not fair" that you should be a chemical slave.
Why not be "fair" to yourself for once. Give yourself a break. You can be happier than you ever were. You can do it.

W.

Fenris

"I used to cry because I had no shoes, then I met a man with no feet."

Programmatic

Poor me

Poor me

Pour me a drink...

horsekisses

I had the "why me's" while drinking, now that I'm sober not so much and nothing else has really changed.