Page417

Sobered up in January, whe I finally recognized I was really and truly powerless and that my life had become unmanageable.

Stayed sober for over 4 months, had a brief slip that disappointed my sponsor and devastated my hope for long term recovery. Long story short, I went back to AA for a few months, then (in my infinite egotistical wisdom) decided that I had more important things going on in my life.

Emailed my sponsor & told her I was dropping out of AA. Oddly enough (insert sarcasm emoticon here), this didn't work out too well for me and life hit the skids again. I can see where this is leading--right back to daily drinking and suicidal thoughts--and I have to stop.

I want to go back, have even hit some meetings & am on day 4 once again.

But what do I tell my sponsor? How do I even begin to make amends? I'm too ashamed to even send her an email. I have let down myself, my sponsor, my family, my higher power.

Do I just start over with different meetings? That doesn't seem right.

BadCompany

E-mail your sponsor again, tell her that it still sucks out there and do what she says this time. I've got a couple of sponsees that have relapsed more times than I can count. They seem to be on track now. The only real failure is to not get back up after you have fallen down.

Dee74

I'm not in AA but I think BC's advice is great
Welcome to SR, page 417

D

CarolD

When I did drink again....I went back to my AA home group..
Then back to Step 1...and finally started my solid recovery...:

As a sponsor...I learned quickly....I can't get anyone else drunk or sober.
I have had sponsees who changed from me...and others that did not.

I'm glad you are re starting your sobreity....other AA members will be too.

Welcome ...

artsoul

Welcome Page417 -

I would think your sponsor would be glad (and relieved) to hear you want to get sober again. I think we all know how it feels to be beat up emotionally and mentally, and most of us have had more than one round with it. Maybe give yourself a day or two to get a little strength back.....

Lots of support here as well. It really will get better, one day at a time...

sugarbear1

We understand you and what happens. Go back to your meetings. I'm sure they miss you and are concerned. Welcome home again! and don't dilly-dally on the steps. Git 'err dunn!

kandi89

The first time that I tried AA I didn't last long, I felt like I couldn't face the sponsor that I had before, but when I got back in in a different state I realized that I really cared for the people in this program, if they go out I won't be disappointed in them, when they come back I want to give them a big hug and congratulate them for having the courage to come back. There's a line in the BB that says that if we doubt that we are alcoholic then go back out and try to drink like a gentleman. I paraphrased that by the way but the point is that we understand that we are all on different levels, if it doesn't stick the first time then maybe it will stick the next, we let alcoholism beat the alcoholic back into recovery. I would contact your old sponsor and just tell them that you're ready to start over that life on the outside isn't what you had thought it would be, I'm giving an educated guess that they will accept you with open arms and so will everyone at the meeting, the thing is that you just have to be honest. Honest with yourself about this disease and honest with the people around you in the rooms and on here. Welcome back, you have a shot at life. Something I like to remind myself is that I always have another binge in me, but I might not always get another chance at recovery. I came very close to a slip just yesterday, but I had to play the tape all the way through. No matter what happens, just keep coming back! Love you!

sane1963

Hi, there is nothing wrong. You have the right.
Do you have a desire to stop , today. Then dont waste time.
Go to meeting and share HONESTLY.
Everyone around you understands and loves you unconditionally
as you are.

instant

I don't know what you tell your sponsor but your capacity for evaluating what has happened is impressive.

I think if someone was to respond with "I told you so" etc they would have considerable work to do themselves. It's a personal journey and at any given point we all do the best we can.