NotSoSmart

My partner will be out of her 90 day rehab on Tuesday. She'll be moving into a sober living program.

I am both ecstatic and anxious. It feels exciting b/c I'll be able to talk with her more than 10min 1x a week. She'll have her cell back so we can talk daily if we want. She'll also be able to leave the sober living as long as she's back on time so we'll be able to see each other at least on weekends.

However the night she told me she was graduating on Tuesday, I had another relapse nightmare. I haven't had one in awhile. It sort of took the wind out of my sails b/c it reminded me that all the progress can go up in smoke instantly. She's been in a safe place all this time and while the sober living is safer than home, she still has opportunities to relapse she didn't have before.

I talked to my sponsor about my concerns and she said it is "step one stuff". I thought I finished that step!! LOL. Anyway, I realized that yes, I am powerless, which was like step 1 part a, but when it HIT me that she could relapse Tues night and there's not a damn thing I can do about it, that was like step 1 part b. When I did step one i was still halfway. (So that's why people do the steps over and over... I get it now).

Anyway, I did connect with the sponsor and we actually have a lot in common. All of you who said to give it a shot even though I thought she and I were too different to relate to each other get Gold Stars

I hope things go well but I'm really trying to live in today, not future tripping in the positive or negative. I'm going to work the steps (one again) with my sponsor and work the program as hard as I hope my partner does.

TMZ

Your doing good. Keep on the positive !!

The are not locked in rehab, and can leave at any time.
This is her improving just be supportive.

Ann

Don't "awfulize" and try to second guess the future, it won't change the outcome and may drive you crazy for nothing.

Embrace the joy in today and keep your recovery in place and all will be well...no matter how she does.

Hugs

greeteachday

If I had a dollar for every time I had to circle back to step One, I'd be rich, lol. You're doing great and it sounds like you have a great sponsor to help you through this.

Freedom1990

Yep, the steps are a lifelong process. It's a good idea to start my day with step 1, reminding myself that I am powerless over others, and that my life can become unmanageable quick if I am not working a program.

Sending you hugs of support.

NotSoSmart

My partner talks about "awfulizing" a lot and honestly I wasn't sure what it meant, but I think that I do now. I am trying to look 10 miles down the road for even the tiniest pothole.
We had our last visit (pass) today and got into some squabbles with each other almost immediately. When we talked it over she said she's feeling stress about leaving the program b/c it is new and unknown. She's been wrapped in a bubble for 90 days with lots of supports and now she's feeling like the bird going out of the nest. Anyway in the end we both thought it was good that we argued, simply b/c before "Pass Day" was like this sacred cow and nothing should sully it and make it imperfect. However real couples argue over silly stuff and can get grouchy with one another from time to time.

I know this is random and off topic but I've got TV on with sound down. There is a grown obese man in footie pajamas being bottle fed apple juice by an older woman. Now he's got a bib and she's going to feed him. What channel is this??

useyourwords

Thank you for these posts (and not just because of the amazing description of the man in footie pajamas!) as I am also dealing with some "step one stuff" now and am doing a lot of awfulizing :-/ It sounds like your pass day meeting did end up being a good thing for you both! All good thoughts from me since today is the big day . . . breath and take it one day at a time!