roscoe100

Today was day 71 and up until now I have not really had any urges to drink. I went to a 5 day detox followed by 28 days of therapy. I have been feeling great, and proud of my sobriety.

Today was different though. I found myself thinking how good it would feel to take a drink. I went to an AA meeting tonight and on the way stopped at a convenient store to get a soda. I went to the liquor section and stared at a bottle of vodka and I had this overwhelming feeling in my stomach that is hard to explain, I really wanted to buy it and drink it. I actually thought to myself that it would be o.k. I wanted to test the waters and see if I could drink, feel good, have a good time and wake up tomorrow and be alright. Crazy, Crazy, Crazy.

I did not do it. I know that if I have one drink it is all over. I will destroy all that I have accomplished. This alcoholism thing is tough and strong. God gave me the strenghth to not make a purchase. I never realized how weak I am against alcohol. The moment has passed. I cannot do this alone, I need help and that is hard for me to admit. But I do. I just have to keep-on-keepin-on. Thanks for letting me post.

least

Good for you for not giving in to the urge. The desire to drink will go away with time but it's important that you are actively working on your recovery or else you're just staying dry and not taking care of the underlying issues/reasons you drank.

I stayed sober for the first few months of my recovery out of sheer force of will as I didn't want to fail again. But I wasn't happy and I wasn't really 'sober', just 'dry'. I changed my attitude and perspective greatly for the good when I started practicing gratitude every day. At first I had to really work at it to come up with something to be thankful for. With time it got easier, more natural, and I found more to be grateful for.

My sobriety really 'took off' after that and I started feeling better about my life and my place in the world. I still practice gratitude every day, and start my day off every morning with the thought of being grateful for waking up sober and healthy. Right now I'm grateful for my 22 months of sobriety!

Now gratitude is a regular part of my life and my sobriety. Give it a try. Realizing how much you have to be thankful for will really drive the message home of how much you have to lose if you drink, at least it does for me. We even have a gratitude forum here just for giving thanks! Check it out!