Bijou

Hello again everyone, was just wondering when I should get a sponser. Some people say right away, while others say give it some time to get used to going to the AA meetings. I'm confused!

PaperDolls

In my opinion, the quicker the better but there is no hard and fast rule one it.
I think the quicker you get in and start working the steps the better.

Just find someone that has what you want, and ask them. Don't over-complicate it.

Good luck!!

sugarbear1

There's a pamphlet somewhere....

Get one after praying on the right person to help you...before sobriety begins to be difficult....

PaperDolls

Here is the link to the "Questions and Answers on Sponsorship" pamphlet from the Alcoholics Anonymous webpage.

Link

Fenris

Some people wait until they find the "perfect" sponsor for them, however long that takes, and others ask the first person they see. I tried to do it the first way and drank after 28 days when the "perfect" one didn't magically appear; so then I tried it the second way and asked the first guy I saw at a meeting the day after my last drink. I've still had a minor slip and a major relapse since then, but my sponsor's stuck with me and helped me figure out what I did to make that happen and how to prevent it in the future. I say get one as soon as possible. If it doesn't work out, you can always get a different one. You won't hurt anyone's feelings by changing sponsors.

--Fenris.

DayTrader

Everyone told me to get one ASAP.

I felt it best to take my time.

.....did I mention I was new to recovery and didn't have a clue about what I really needed but thought I knew.....? LOL

I believe now that the best sponsor will tell you they're your sponsor.....they won't wait for you to ask. Since it's not really in vogue to do that anymore like it used to be, I wouldn't suggest trying to wait for that to happen (but, if it does, consider yourself lucky).

What I DO recommend is that you don't try to pick them out......you don't know what to look for yet. Start asking ppl you like for who they would recommend. Do this with several ppl.......then focus on the names that pop up more than once. What typically happens it you'll get to the cream of the crop rather quickly. (also, you'll probably find that nobody will recommend the one's you think would be perfect for the job....... ).

Understand this too...... you won't find a sponsor who is everything you want them to be. They're not God......they're just a person - a limited person. They'll have skills in areas you need them and not have abilities in areas you need them.

Lucky for you though, your life, your sobriety, and your happiness do NOT lie in your sponsor's ability to fix you. If you're in AA you'll find that neither you nor your sponsor has that ability or that power.

One of the BIG mistakes I made was expecting to, some day, find the perfect sponsor - someone who was wise, intelligent, knew what I needed to hear, knew what I needed to do, would be a guide in all matters of my life, etc etc etc........ I did find that sponsor........but they're not a person. My person-sponsor is just that.....my sponsor.......a guide......an aid........ he's not THE sponsor.


**and for future reference Bijou......you'll get the best advice on AA related questions in the 12Step forum.

Bijou

Thank you all so much for the info!

Toreinne

Get one as soon as possible! You can always change sponsors, but you can't beat the support and guidance even a temporary sponsor can give.