EDHARLEY

Was feeling ok but now am not so sure I have faced so much but I let my number one trigger in ... my ex.. I never knew just how much I truly resented her.. Nothing to do with drinking.. she played games and I left her.. she knows nothing about this.. anyway she is always trying to get back into my life telling me she wants to see me etc.. she is no good for me and I know that it is over.. I never see her but the words its over have not really been spoken,.. or better yet accepted by both of us. I really gets me going when I think about it and right now it is my number one trigger.. I just dont know what to do.. I am scared to totally break it off for fear of how I will react.. I know we are over but I hold hope inside.. I can concentrate when she starts talking to me over text becouse I resent her.. what should I do.. Its late and I am onnly thinking about this.. should I face it now ON DAY 7 or let it ride until I am stronger?

Dee74

Only you can decide that Ed.

personally no one ever made me drink. It was my reactions to them that did the damage.
I learned to react differently though - I'm sure you will too

I'd generally avoid stress where I could in early recovery though - except where to avoid that stress bought more stress, y'know?...

What about blocking her number for now?

D

ForLove

Hi Ed,

I don't have much sober time myself but I just wanted to let you know that I hear you. As D said, avoiding stress as much as possible in the early stages of sobriety is important. If it were me, I would not deal with now or for a while. Your sobriety is the most important thing as it truly can be a life or death matter. I don't have much advice but my opinion would be to put it on the back burner until you feel stronger in your sobriety. Toxic relationships are so damaging to your well being. As you get more time sober, I'm sure you'll begin to see the reality of the relationship, whether good or bad, and can make a more educated decision at that point. Please take that with a grain of salt. Good luck with this situation and your journey.

EDHARLEY

It has been unhealthy and toxic for sure.. I block her out but when I let her in it consumes me.. I think , no I know that I am weak and that confrontation would be an easy reason for me to wollow in self pity and drink.. I am going to just try to avoid it.. I have been trying to but she just wont go away...
If I block her she will just email me and or come over..

ForLove

Are you going to be okay for tonight and stick it out without the alcohol? Just wanted to know how you're doing.

EDHARLEY

Thank you for the concern it means a lot.. yea I think that I will be ok.. I am going to go for a walk its just going to be a long night...

ForLove

I hope your walk went well and you're doing okay. Hopefully, I'll see you post tomorrow.

freshstart57

Ed, see if this rings a bell for you. Is there a parallel for you between your relationship with your DoC, and your relationship with your ex? Does this comparison make dealing and deciding about the two relationships any easier?

sugarbear1

I waited 30 days, then created, ok, manipulated an argument & he moved out. We've been in touch, but I can't see him.

Funny how he "wasn't making money" when he lived here, sat on his butt while I worked, but since he left he's bought a vehicle & is planning a trip to Spain... Yeah, I feel used. He owes me over 1000 bucks & won't acknowledge it...I worked, cooked, cleaned did laundry & he got a free ride.

No resentment, just done. I deserve better today...

Sorry! I'm having a physically painful day & thoughts of numbing self were all day flashing around my head. Today, after midnight now, is 4 months & 28 days for me and I'm sticking with an honest program.

Thanks for listening. Breathe. Your gut will let you know what to do, don't rush a decision,,divert yourself for now.

sugarbear1

Ed, you're doing well. Focus on being sober, today. Hang tight!