Eliasson

Two of our couple friends, who are IMO highly functioning, very successful alcoholics, are coming over for dinner tonight. It is very hard I have 60 days today and the martinis, beer and wine will be flowing right here in my home (my husband also heavy drinker at very least). I don't know exactly how to handle this and my anxiety is quite high. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions? I am a chronic relapser. This is the longest I've gone without a drink and I don't want to blow what I've worked so hard for but I'm feeling shaky. Any encouragement would be most welcome.

juststopit

decide ahead of time what you will drink instead. If you begin to feel yourself giving in, excuse yourself for a few moments, take a deep breath, and talk to yourself about all of the reasons you have decided not to drink (maybe you can go ahead and write them all on a little slip of paper and keep it in your pocket). Let your husband know ahead of time that you don't plan to drink, and ask (if you can) for his support.

you can do this; you have already made it this far, you can make it one more day!!

least

Sixty days sober is great! Try hard to make your desire to stay sober your focus, not the people at your house who are drinking.


Just my curiosity... the people coming over to drink will be driving to your place, yes? Any way you could be a designated driver to get them home safely? If you were a DD you'd have a(nother) very good reason not to drink.

Deserto

Remember that the point of having dinner parties is to connect with interesting people.

If they're interesting, enjoy the connection! And remember it will be better sober.

Not saying it won't be hard, but really connecting with people -- not just laughing drunkenly at some stupid story -- is an important goal of sobriety (at least for me).

Good luck!

roscoe100

That is a tough situation. I have 70 days sober, when I am in a situation where it will be easy to drink I take a moment and remember that I will feel much better about myself at the end of the night knowing that I beat the urge to drink. You can do it. alot of work goes into 60 days. This is just a small moment in time, it will pass. Tomorrow is a new day and it will be so much better for you when you wake up with the accomplishment of knowing that you won.

onlythetruth

Well, first of all it might help you to cease thinking of yourself as a "chronic relapser", even if you have in fact relapsed previously. That is in the past. You have 60 days now--build on it!

Anyway, what I did in such situations was to think about how I wanted to feel the next morning. Did I want to feel like crap, or did I want to feel good, and proud of myself? I always picked the latter, and acted accordingly. The feeling of getting up after an event like that and feeling good about myself was a powerful motivator for me!

Dee74

obviously not all these will be applicable, but you might find some ideas here.

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Above all don't be afraid to excuse yourself - whether it's to go to bed, watch TV or come here and log on if you need to.

It might be a hard night, but in the end Eliasson you know all the reasons why you want to be sober - don't lose sight of that.

Nothing is worth going back there for.

D

sugarbear1

Prayers to you!

Anna

I hope it goes well!

sissy07

Hi Elliason,

Just keep remembering what you went through to get those 60 days sober - it is so not worth blowing it for maybe a few hours of drinking. (Which probably wouldn't be much fun anyway.) Think of it as another inevitable challenge - there will be more - and stay sober. Positive energy, love and hugs are coming your way from Austin!

freshstart57

I carried this list around in my pocket for a while, and found that it helped to read it when I was feeling a little shakey.

reprinted from 30 Great Reasons to Quit Drinking Alcohol

Eliasson

Can't thank you all enough for your wisdom and encouraging words! I made it! Sounds silly but I'm pretty proud of myself. Couldn't have done it without y'all, I'd go to bathroom when feeling anxious and read what you all were writing. It gave me strength and courage! So glad I didn't flush 2 months down the drain. Love and hugs to you all!

Deserto

Congratulations! Fantastic! It's not silly to be proud -- you should be proud. You faced a tough challenge and overcame it. Good job!

roscoe100

Eliasson good for you. I came back to this thread to see if you posted. I wanted to know if you made it. It brings joy to me that you made it. You have to feel great about your decision to stay the course of your committment to not drink. I now will use Sober Recovery as a tool to help me through tough situations. God bless your effeorts.

freshstart57

Well done, eliasson. Strengthening that sober muscle takes some exercise, knowing that you can handle this challenge will make the next ones easier.

LittleSparrow

Great job, Eliasson! I'm so glad you stuck with it, even when it wasn't easy. Thanks for the inspiration.

Taking5

Good job in a tough situation. You should be proud. I have a rather uncomfortable question though - doesn't your husband have enough respect for your decision to not drink that he could've not had this couple over? Was it that important to have them over? I guess I question his support of you at this point.

Dee74

I don't think it's silly - I'm pretty proud of you too
well done

D

csim

Awesome job Eliasson! If your ever in that situation again you could always make up your own drink. If you like any type of juice you could pour some in a really pretty pitcher and add some cut up fresh fruit to it. Its elegant sophisticated and good for you. Also, congrats on 60 days. I hope to make it there too :-)

ttbp

Well done