Messages from the past
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 9
Messages from the past
My thought for today...
Living with alcoholics in my life I sometimes find myself coming face to face with painful reminders of the past, I am talking particularly about "wreckage" from the disease of alcoholism that takes time to surface whether it be hidden bottles or drugs, or facebook posts, emails, texts, or unwanted updates from well intentioned friends about our Alcoholics.
This happened for me today, when a forwarded message that was totally innocent had some painful reminders via old emails attached. Almost instantly I was reminded of another time when on the anniversary of an affair, the other person affected sent me an email that obviously came from a place of great pain. This has me spinning this morning, and this post is part of my process of getting re-centered.
For me these events often stirs up powerful feelings and in the past have left me reeling for hours, days or weeks. It is also a time to practice the tools of recovery. I still find myself getting sucked into those negative places, thinking unhealthy thoughts, but more and more it is easier to experience those feelings and to let them go. By writing, calling my sponsor or reading recovery literature I can help dis-engage from obsessive thinking. I can also practice the slogan "progress not perfection" and realize it is normal to feel these feelings and even get stuck for a while. I don't need to beat myself up for feeling them or getting stuck, but I don't have to wallow in them, and can use the tools to get back to a better place.
Messages from the past (whether good or bad) can be very powerful, because they remind us of where we have been, and can put events in the present in a new perspective. This is a tool that I use in recovery, I send emails to myself in the future... (futureme.org) When I am faced with powerful events I will use this tool to send myself a note, to be read, as a message from the past, sometime in the future.
By looking back without dwelling on it, and looking forward without obsessing, I can focus on the present, and I don't always do it perfectly, but I don't have to.
-Brian
Living with alcoholics in my life I sometimes find myself coming face to face with painful reminders of the past, I am talking particularly about "wreckage" from the disease of alcoholism that takes time to surface whether it be hidden bottles or drugs, or facebook posts, emails, texts, or unwanted updates from well intentioned friends about our Alcoholics.
This happened for me today, when a forwarded message that was totally innocent had some painful reminders via old emails attached. Almost instantly I was reminded of another time when on the anniversary of an affair, the other person affected sent me an email that obviously came from a place of great pain. This has me spinning this morning, and this post is part of my process of getting re-centered.
For me these events often stirs up powerful feelings and in the past have left me reeling for hours, days or weeks. It is also a time to practice the tools of recovery. I still find myself getting sucked into those negative places, thinking unhealthy thoughts, but more and more it is easier to experience those feelings and to let them go. By writing, calling my sponsor or reading recovery literature I can help dis-engage from obsessive thinking. I can also practice the slogan "progress not perfection" and realize it is normal to feel these feelings and even get stuck for a while. I don't need to beat myself up for feeling them or getting stuck, but I don't have to wallow in them, and can use the tools to get back to a better place.
Messages from the past (whether good or bad) can be very powerful, because they remind us of where we have been, and can put events in the present in a new perspective. This is a tool that I use in recovery, I send emails to myself in the future... (futureme.org) When I am faced with powerful events I will use this tool to send myself a note, to be read, as a message from the past, sometime in the future.
By looking back without dwelling on it, and looking forward without obsessing, I can focus on the present, and I don't always do it perfectly, but I don't have to.
-Brian
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Hey thanks Brian for the great post (and the website...pretty cool idea!)
Yesterday, while running errands, I stopped to get my girls a coffee and there was the ex's car in the lot...I had a powerful reaction...I couldn't even stay in the lot. It took a complete 45 minutes to pull myself out of the funk I was instantly in and refocus back to the beautiful sunny day with my daughters. But I did, and we had a great afternoon of shopping and pizza.
It takes practice to retrain your brain, but it is doable and so nice when it works!
Yesterday, while running errands, I stopped to get my girls a coffee and there was the ex's car in the lot...I had a powerful reaction...I couldn't even stay in the lot. It took a complete 45 minutes to pull myself out of the funk I was instantly in and refocus back to the beautiful sunny day with my daughters. But I did, and we had a great afternoon of shopping and pizza.
It takes practice to retrain your brain, but it is doable and so nice when it works!
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