csim

Im new but i shouldn't be... Ive been drinking alot more the past 4 years. I usually drink on the weekends and once i start i can't stop and just about every time i drink i blackout. Ive done alot of stupid things while drinking but nothing compared to what i did this morning. I got into a fight with my boyfriend about my behavior at the bar and i got mad and got into my car. Im not knew to driving after having a few drinks but this time i should have been as far away as possible from my car. I drove around the block and smashed my car head on into a tree. I feel horrible. I can't believe i did that. Ive tried cutting down my drinks and limiting myself but it never lasts. So today or tomorrow actually i plan on being sober for life.

Dee74

Welcome to SR csim

I think most of us have done stupid or even dangerous things - but I'm really glad you're ok

You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here

D

csim

Thank you. I definitely need it.

LifeIsCake

Hi csim,

Honestly, as drinkers, we could be related. My problem was that first drink, it was usually the only one I remembered. I would quickly blackout and continue to drink until all of my alcohol was gone. I don't remember anything from my blackouts, I only remember what others were able to tell me. While I was still drinking these things that I had done didn't seem like a really big deal but now that I have some decent sobriety time and a much clearer mind these things literally terrify me. I finally realized that the terror I posses from my past actions is stronger than the terror I felt not being able to drink.

I didn't used to believe that there was life outside my drinking (I only drank for 4 years) but as I get further away (339 days today) from it the better I feel and the clearer I think.

It's a good thing you're here, everyone is very supportive. I hope I've helped at least a little. Please stay strong. Good luck.

J

freshstart57

Csim, there is a big difference between those two timelines, today vs tomorrow. I am a big fan of the whole 'now' concept, meaning that things only ever happen in the present moment, and tomorrow is always 24 hours away. I like the 'for life' concept for sure.

So, will you be sober 'today'?

csim

I know that was a little confusing! The reason i wrote that is because i was up drinking until 3am and feel like complete crap today. I was still a little drunk when i woke up at noon. This is gonna be really hard for me. All my friends seem to do is drink. Any advice on how to deal with this other than avoiding it?

ogpr54

im glad you didnt get hurt or hurt someone in the accident....now that im quitting myself ive been looking back at my past with drinking and driving and i have to thank god that no one was hurt....i am so ashamed of what i did...one night i had alot to drink at a club, gave myself some time to "sober up" and on my way home i was on a off ramp getting on the highway and i dozed off for 10 seconds and next thing you know im slamming on my breaks skidding to the side of the road to avoid hitting a semi truck that was in front of me...same thing happen leaving a house party, i dozed off ran a red light and almost hit a car going across the street like it was supposed to....that right there is terrible, i dont think ill ever get over that moment in which i could have killed someone....god saved that person and spared me that night.

ogpr54

im on the same boat...all my friends do is drink...any type of activity whether is someones birthday, watching a game, going out to eat, going bowling, going to the beach, playing pool, the list goes on. alot of them are social drinkers in which they have 2 to 3 drinks the whole night and are fine but what you need to understand is that your not like them.....best advice is to be open about your decision to them....if all they do is drink then be a strong person and set an example by not drinking, you might find that they will respect you for it and who knows they could follow your lead and want to do activities with you without alcohol....best of luck to you, your the only one that can change your situation.

CarolD

Welcome.....

Thanks for joining with us...glad you are here...

Taking5

I had to do 3 things to stay sober. It took all three:
1) Change my playground (bars and clubs)
2) Change my playmates (old drinking buddies)
3) Go to AA and work the 12 steps

Leaving your friends may sound harsh but honestly there were only 2 friends in the whole lot that actually turned out to be true friends. Most tried - and succeeded - in sabotaging my sobriety many times, even after I told them I was trying to be sober.

Today I have many sober friends, that all want sobriety as much as I do.