Dailies from ODAT part II
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Dailies from ODAT part II
October 7 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Heard at an Al-Anon meeting:
“Before I came to Al-Anon, it was like groping around in a dark room, trying to sidestep the obstacles without being able to see them. Because there was no light, I was constantly getting hurt because I tripped over things, or bumped into them.
Then I came into Al-Anon and learned that I have the power to turn on the light, to get a clear view of my life, its difficulties and good things. Often I still forget to turn on the light. I still hurt myself. But I’m getting better as I do more reading and living the program.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Looking for light in a grim situation? Here it is, in Al-Anon. Nobody can force you to accept it, but you’ll want to when you learn how much easier it can become to deal with life’s inevitable problems. As one member put it, “I see things differently now.”
“And God said: Let there be light...” - Genesis
“Light always dispels the darkness.”
Heard at an Al-Anon meeting:
“Before I came to Al-Anon, it was like groping around in a dark room, trying to sidestep the obstacles without being able to see them. Because there was no light, I was constantly getting hurt because I tripped over things, or bumped into them.
Then I came into Al-Anon and learned that I have the power to turn on the light, to get a clear view of my life, its difficulties and good things. Often I still forget to turn on the light. I still hurt myself. But I’m getting better as I do more reading and living the program.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Looking for light in a grim situation? Here it is, in Al-Anon. Nobody can force you to accept it, but you’ll want to when you learn how much easier it can become to deal with life’s inevitable problems. As one member put it, “I see things differently now.”
“And God said: Let there be light...” - Genesis
“Light always dispels the darkness.”
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October 8 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
When I hear it said in an Al-Anon meeting that I can help myself, no matter how great my burdens and troubles are, I may think: "Easy to say, but you don't know what I'm going through."
Applying a little sensible realism to this, let me ask myself whether I’m not building up trifles into monstrosities that seem unbearable. Most of us do, at some time or other. We may magnify disagreements about money for instance: we expand minor slights into huge grievances. Without realizing it, we’re looking for trouble and are ready to fasten on little things that we could easily pass over if we really wanted our own peace of mind.
TODAY’S REMINDER
If I don’t make big problems out of little ones, I can save myself much grief. Fighting for my “rights” oftne creates more difficulty than accepting less than I expect. If I really value my serenity, I will avoid making big issues out of trifles. Giving in and letting go becomes easier as I practice it, and it pays big dividends in inner satisfaction.
“Whensoever a man desires anything inordinately, he is presently disquieted within himself.” - Thomas A’Kempis
When I hear it said in an Al-Anon meeting that I can help myself, no matter how great my burdens and troubles are, I may think: "Easy to say, but you don't know what I'm going through."
Applying a little sensible realism to this, let me ask myself whether I’m not building up trifles into monstrosities that seem unbearable. Most of us do, at some time or other. We may magnify disagreements about money for instance: we expand minor slights into huge grievances. Without realizing it, we’re looking for trouble and are ready to fasten on little things that we could easily pass over if we really wanted our own peace of mind.
TODAY’S REMINDER
If I don’t make big problems out of little ones, I can save myself much grief. Fighting for my “rights” oftne creates more difficulty than accepting less than I expect. If I really value my serenity, I will avoid making big issues out of trifles. Giving in and letting go becomes easier as I practice it, and it pays big dividends in inner satisfaction.
“Whensoever a man desires anything inordinately, he is presently disquieted within himself.” - Thomas A’Kempis
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October 9 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
When we speak of miracles happening in Al-Anon, we often include among these the entry of a spouse into AA and sobriety.
This is indeed a miracle, but it is not our miracle; it is the alcoholic’s. It is not our business (nor has it ever been!) to watch over him, worry about his sobriety, see that he doesn’t drink, that he goes to the right number of AA meetings. If we continue the techniques of management and supervision that did so much to make a mess of life during the drinking days, we’re headed for trouble.
We can and should be grateful on his behalf, but our business is with Al-Anon and ourselves. This wonderful program will help us make something of our own lives. Our responsibility to the alcoholic is to let him manage his own sobriety, and to be gentle, courteous and cooperative.
TODAY’S REMINDER
The AA member, however close to me, is the concern of his friends in AA. He must be left free to follow the program in his own way. IF I am truly grateful, I will keep hands off.
“Study to be quiet, and to do your own business.” – Thessalonians
“…and confuse not the business of others with your own.”
When we speak of miracles happening in Al-Anon, we often include among these the entry of a spouse into AA and sobriety.
This is indeed a miracle, but it is not our miracle; it is the alcoholic’s. It is not our business (nor has it ever been!) to watch over him, worry about his sobriety, see that he doesn’t drink, that he goes to the right number of AA meetings. If we continue the techniques of management and supervision that did so much to make a mess of life during the drinking days, we’re headed for trouble.
We can and should be grateful on his behalf, but our business is with Al-Anon and ourselves. This wonderful program will help us make something of our own lives. Our responsibility to the alcoholic is to let him manage his own sobriety, and to be gentle, courteous and cooperative.
TODAY’S REMINDER
The AA member, however close to me, is the concern of his friends in AA. He must be left free to follow the program in his own way. IF I am truly grateful, I will keep hands off.
“Study to be quiet, and to do your own business.” – Thessalonians
“…and confuse not the business of others with your own.”
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as I post these in this part of the board for Friends and Family of Substance Abusers, I see even though it's alcohol addiction vs substance addiction, we need to do the same things for ourselves. I've been subject to both and am grateful for the Twelve Step program for friends and family.
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October 10 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Without faith in a power greater than myself, I am like a storm-tossed ship without a rudder. I am flung from one trouble to another; however bravely I may battle the elements, my own strength and wisdom are not enough.
All of us need something to cling to with absolute confidence. If I have been disillusioned by disappointments, or have been let down by someone I trusted, it makes me feel as though I were alone and vulnerable in a hostile world.
I will not deprive myself of God’s help and guidance. I see it at work in Al-Anon as we share knowledge, courage and hope with each other. Confidence and dignity are restored to us by the knowledge that we are God’s children.
TODAY’S REMINDER
If my faith has been dimmed by disappointment, I can begin to regain it by clinging to a spiritual idea like the one expressed in the serenity Prayer. This living philosophy will give me a secure foundation of faith.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight…” Second Corinthians
Without faith in a power greater than myself, I am like a storm-tossed ship without a rudder. I am flung from one trouble to another; however bravely I may battle the elements, my own strength and wisdom are not enough.
All of us need something to cling to with absolute confidence. If I have been disillusioned by disappointments, or have been let down by someone I trusted, it makes me feel as though I were alone and vulnerable in a hostile world.
I will not deprive myself of God’s help and guidance. I see it at work in Al-Anon as we share knowledge, courage and hope with each other. Confidence and dignity are restored to us by the knowledge that we are God’s children.
TODAY’S REMINDER
If my faith has been dimmed by disappointment, I can begin to regain it by clinging to a spiritual idea like the one expressed in the serenity Prayer. This living philosophy will give me a secure foundation of faith.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight…” Second Corinthians
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October 11 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
The wife with a long-standing habit of managing her husband may not even realize that she is constantly directing and admonishing him.
“Don’t wear that blue shirt today; wear this one.” – “It’s almost time for church. You better get ready.” – “Don’t take the car out in this weather!” – “You’ve made four AA meetings this week and the kitchen needs painting.”
Trifles, yes, but such an attitude deprives the husband of all freedom of choice, all dignity and manhood. She plays the mother role and treats him like a child who wouldn’t know what to do without being told.
TODAY’S REMINDER
If in the troubled drinking years I unwisely assumed responsibility that should have been my husband’s, I will now break these habits of managing. I realize now, through Al-Anon, that sobriety might have come much sooner if I had been able to stand aside and let the alcoholic, suffer the consequences of his own choices. I will respect his rights as an individual.
“Each of us has the right and the obligation to make our own decisions. It is character-destroying to usurp that right.”
The wife with a long-standing habit of managing her husband may not even realize that she is constantly directing and admonishing him.
“Don’t wear that blue shirt today; wear this one.” – “It’s almost time for church. You better get ready.” – “Don’t take the car out in this weather!” – “You’ve made four AA meetings this week and the kitchen needs painting.”
Trifles, yes, but such an attitude deprives the husband of all freedom of choice, all dignity and manhood. She plays the mother role and treats him like a child who wouldn’t know what to do without being told.
TODAY’S REMINDER
If in the troubled drinking years I unwisely assumed responsibility that should have been my husband’s, I will now break these habits of managing. I realize now, through Al-Anon, that sobriety might have come much sooner if I had been able to stand aside and let the alcoholic, suffer the consequences of his own choices. I will respect his rights as an individual.
“Each of us has the right and the obligation to make our own decisions. It is character-destroying to usurp that right.”
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October 12 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Once upon a time, there was an Enormous Thumb belonging to a woman with an Alcoholic Husband and Three Teenaged Children.
The four of them lived under her thumb, so of course they couldn’t do much growing up. Often their spirits writhed under the weight; every time they tried to get out from under, they’d do something wrong and the thumb would clamp down on them again.
Father managed by keeping himself flattened out drunk most of the time; he was so cute about escaping to a bottle that, no matter how much mama watched, she couldn’t catch him at it until he’d drunk himself into unconsciousness. Everyone thought she was a Very Nice Lady, and they were sorry she was having such a hard time with her family.
There was really no reason for her to come to Al-Anon to solve her problems because she always knew just what to do about everything. But she did want to make her husband stop drinking, so she thought she’d try it. She was quite unhappy at first because some of the members were not inclined to Pull Any Punches. She was quite indignant when they tried to show her what she was doing to her family, but to everyone’s amazement, the Thumb began to shrink and lose weight, and things looked brighter.
More and more she realized what she was doing and, being a Determined Character, she applied the program every day and her other problems took care of themselves very nicely.
Once upon a time, there was an Enormous Thumb belonging to a woman with an Alcoholic Husband and Three Teenaged Children.
The four of them lived under her thumb, so of course they couldn’t do much growing up. Often their spirits writhed under the weight; every time they tried to get out from under, they’d do something wrong and the thumb would clamp down on them again.
Father managed by keeping himself flattened out drunk most of the time; he was so cute about escaping to a bottle that, no matter how much mama watched, she couldn’t catch him at it until he’d drunk himself into unconsciousness. Everyone thought she was a Very Nice Lady, and they were sorry she was having such a hard time with her family.
There was really no reason for her to come to Al-Anon to solve her problems because she always knew just what to do about everything. But she did want to make her husband stop drinking, so she thought she’d try it. She was quite unhappy at first because some of the members were not inclined to Pull Any Punches. She was quite indignant when they tried to show her what she was doing to her family, but to everyone’s amazement, the Thumb began to shrink and lose weight, and things looked brighter.
More and more she realized what she was doing and, being a Determined Character, she applied the program every day and her other problems took care of themselves very nicely.
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October 13 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We come together in an Al-Anon group for the purpose of sharing experience, strength and hope with each other. This we do by attending meetings, discussing, listening, counseling, and telephoning each other for comfort and renewal of confidence.
It is wonderful to know that this close communication, this keeping in touch, is not limited to the members of a single group; it embraces the whole world! This message came to the United States from the publication of the Al-Anon groups of South Africa:
TODAY’S REMINDER
“Learn to face things as they come, and when they come, with calm deliberation. We may not be able to control events, but we can control our attitudes toward them.”
This clear message from a faraway continent will inspire Al-Anon people everywhere in their search for serenity. It demonstrates how closely akin we are in our loving fellowship.
“And be renewed in the spirit of your mind….for we are members one of another.” - Ephesians
We come together in an Al-Anon group for the purpose of sharing experience, strength and hope with each other. This we do by attending meetings, discussing, listening, counseling, and telephoning each other for comfort and renewal of confidence.
It is wonderful to know that this close communication, this keeping in touch, is not limited to the members of a single group; it embraces the whole world! This message came to the United States from the publication of the Al-Anon groups of South Africa:
TODAY’S REMINDER
“Learn to face things as they come, and when they come, with calm deliberation. We may not be able to control events, but we can control our attitudes toward them.”
This clear message from a faraway continent will inspire Al-Anon people everywhere in their search for serenity. It demonstrates how closely akin we are in our loving fellowship.
“And be renewed in the spirit of your mind….for we are members one of another.” - Ephesians
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October 14 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We come to Al-anon because we believe it has something we want. In other words, we come to get something for ourselves. At first we have no idea that this “getting” is intimately involved with Giving.
We soon discover that our willingness to help others has an immediate and beneficent reaction on us. Our progress in the program depends on that satisfying sense of sharing, giving of ourselves, whether it be to enlighten and comfort a newcomer, serving as a group officer, supporting our fellowship or listening patiently to someone in trouble.
TODAY’S REMINDER
The more I give of myself and the more generously I open my heart and my mind to others, the more growth I will experience as I deal with my problems. I learn in Al-Anon never to measure my giving against my getting; the very giving provides my reward.
“The giver is only a channel for the gifts he has received from God. He cannot hoard or withhold them without blocking the channel.”
We come to Al-anon because we believe it has something we want. In other words, we come to get something for ourselves. At first we have no idea that this “getting” is intimately involved with Giving.
We soon discover that our willingness to help others has an immediate and beneficent reaction on us. Our progress in the program depends on that satisfying sense of sharing, giving of ourselves, whether it be to enlighten and comfort a newcomer, serving as a group officer, supporting our fellowship or listening patiently to someone in trouble.
TODAY’S REMINDER
The more I give of myself and the more generously I open my heart and my mind to others, the more growth I will experience as I deal with my problems. I learn in Al-Anon never to measure my giving against my getting; the very giving provides my reward.
“The giver is only a channel for the gifts he has received from God. He cannot hoard or withhold them without blocking the channel.”
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October 15 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
The new member of a group is understandably upset, distraught and perhaps even desperate. Just as ours did in the beginning, her trials seem too great for a human being to endure. She is not yet aware that she may be making it worse by complaining, weeping and trying to outwit the alcoholic. All these things we learn not to do after we’ve been in Al-Anon for a time. Her recital may even be distorted by hysteria – this is natural, too.
All this should warn us not to make sweeping judgment on anyone else’s problem or suggest making any decisions for her. We must help her become able to make them for herself.
TODAY’S REMINDER
No matter how unbearable a person’s situation appears, I know I am not capable of judging it since I can’t possibly know all the factors involved. Nor can I measure another’s emotional pain by my own experience and feelings. But I can offer comfort and hope, and the healing therapy of the Al-Anon program.
Our Eighth Tradition says, “Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional.”
The new member of a group is understandably upset, distraught and perhaps even desperate. Just as ours did in the beginning, her trials seem too great for a human being to endure. She is not yet aware that she may be making it worse by complaining, weeping and trying to outwit the alcoholic. All these things we learn not to do after we’ve been in Al-Anon for a time. Her recital may even be distorted by hysteria – this is natural, too.
All this should warn us not to make sweeping judgment on anyone else’s problem or suggest making any decisions for her. We must help her become able to make them for herself.
TODAY’S REMINDER
No matter how unbearable a person’s situation appears, I know I am not capable of judging it since I can’t possibly know all the factors involved. Nor can I measure another’s emotional pain by my own experience and feelings. But I can offer comfort and hope, and the healing therapy of the Al-Anon program.
Our Eighth Tradition says, “Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional.”
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October 16 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
All kinds of people turn to Al-Anon for help – rich and poor, educated and unschooled, people with social polish and people without.
Sometimes, it may be observed that those who have had more advantages tend to be a little patronizing of others; they may criticize faulty grammar or poor speech or inappropriate clothing.
It is fortunate that those with the illusion of superiority have come to Al-Anon, for they will find out that it is a fellowship of equals. It often happens that a person from whom they least expect spiritual insight will make a statement that reaches directly to the heart of the hearers, to give light and comfort and hope.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I am in Al-Anon to help myself solve my problems, to overcome my shortcomings, and to help others find serenity just as I am trying to find it. I will make no personal judgments nor criticisms, but will humbly accept the good in everything I find in the fellowship.
“Who am I to judge God’s children by their manner of speaking or by what they wear? I will listen for the help they can give me.”
All kinds of people turn to Al-Anon for help – rich and poor, educated and unschooled, people with social polish and people without.
Sometimes, it may be observed that those who have had more advantages tend to be a little patronizing of others; they may criticize faulty grammar or poor speech or inappropriate clothing.
It is fortunate that those with the illusion of superiority have come to Al-Anon, for they will find out that it is a fellowship of equals. It often happens that a person from whom they least expect spiritual insight will make a statement that reaches directly to the heart of the hearers, to give light and comfort and hope.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I am in Al-Anon to help myself solve my problems, to overcome my shortcomings, and to help others find serenity just as I am trying to find it. I will make no personal judgments nor criticisms, but will humbly accept the good in everything I find in the fellowship.
“Who am I to judge God’s children by their manner of speaking or by what they wear? I will listen for the help they can give me.”
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October 17 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
The Twelve Steps make up a body of spiritual wisdom that unfolds and expands our understanding as we study them, one after another. There is one Step, however, that could be studied from the very outset, very day, for its extraordinary power to throw light on the others. This is the Eleventh, which speaks of prayer and meditation.
Meditation is the quiet and sustained application of the mind to the contemplation of a spiritual truth. Its purpose is to deflect our minds from the problems we are experiencing, to raise our thoughts above the grievances and discontent that color our thinking.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will set aside at least five minutes, morning and night, for spiritual concentration, excluding from my mind all but one spiritual idea. I will begin and end each meditation with a conscious awareness of God.
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” – Step Eleven
The Twelve Steps make up a body of spiritual wisdom that unfolds and expands our understanding as we study them, one after another. There is one Step, however, that could be studied from the very outset, very day, for its extraordinary power to throw light on the others. This is the Eleventh, which speaks of prayer and meditation.
Meditation is the quiet and sustained application of the mind to the contemplation of a spiritual truth. Its purpose is to deflect our minds from the problems we are experiencing, to raise our thoughts above the grievances and discontent that color our thinking.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will set aside at least five minutes, morning and night, for spiritual concentration, excluding from my mind all but one spiritual idea. I will begin and end each meditation with a conscious awareness of God.
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” – Step Eleven
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October 18 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
A brief study of some intangibles:
Our attitudes are usually conveyed to other people by what we say and do – and how, if the attitudes really reflect what we feel. Gentle actions and soft, courteous words may only counterfeit our true feelings. We may even think we have overcome resentment, self-righteousness and self-pity, but if they are still there inside us, they will, in some mysterious way, emanate from us and deny what we try to convey by our play-acting.
“How can he tell?” asks a confused wife, “I never raise my voice, never argue, try to do what he expects, and yet he’s always challenging me!”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Merely to change my behavior, and what I say and do, does not prove a change of inward attitude. I am deceiving myself if I imagine I can completely disguise my real feelings. They will somehow come through, and prolong the hostility in my family. I must root out entirely the troublesome emotions I’ve been trying to hide.
“There are more things in heaven and earth…than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” – William Shakespear
A brief study of some intangibles:
Our attitudes are usually conveyed to other people by what we say and do – and how, if the attitudes really reflect what we feel. Gentle actions and soft, courteous words may only counterfeit our true feelings. We may even think we have overcome resentment, self-righteousness and self-pity, but if they are still there inside us, they will, in some mysterious way, emanate from us and deny what we try to convey by our play-acting.
“How can he tell?” asks a confused wife, “I never raise my voice, never argue, try to do what he expects, and yet he’s always challenging me!”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Merely to change my behavior, and what I say and do, does not prove a change of inward attitude. I am deceiving myself if I imagine I can completely disguise my real feelings. They will somehow come through, and prolong the hostility in my family. I must root out entirely the troublesome emotions I’ve been trying to hide.
“There are more things in heaven and earth…than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” – William Shakespear
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October 19 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
In the great Spanish classic, Don Quixote, the author tells about a bemused hero who goes forth to right the world’s wrongs. Among his adventures, he has an encounter with some windmills that he imagines to be menacing giants. He fights them with his rusty sword until he falls exhausted.
Don’t we, too, often wear ourselves out “tilting at the windmills” – using our heavy artillery of anger and worry over trifling annoyances that aren’t worth all that futile struggle?
TODAY’S REMINDER
Do I waste my time and energy fighting situations that are actually not worth a second thought? I will not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I will try to see each situation clearly, and give it only the value and attention it deserves. This is the sanity to which I want to be restored, as the Second Step suggests.
“God grant me the sense of proportion to judge the difference between an incident and a crisis.”
In the great Spanish classic, Don Quixote, the author tells about a bemused hero who goes forth to right the world’s wrongs. Among his adventures, he has an encounter with some windmills that he imagines to be menacing giants. He fights them with his rusty sword until he falls exhausted.
Don’t we, too, often wear ourselves out “tilting at the windmills” – using our heavy artillery of anger and worry over trifling annoyances that aren’t worth all that futile struggle?
TODAY’S REMINDER
Do I waste my time and energy fighting situations that are actually not worth a second thought? I will not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I will try to see each situation clearly, and give it only the value and attention it deserves. This is the sanity to which I want to be restored, as the Second Step suggests.
“God grant me the sense of proportion to judge the difference between an incident and a crisis.”
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October 20 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Our slogans are so clear and simple, yet they may still mean different things to different people. We naturally color them somewhat according to our own experience and reaction to the words and ideas.
For example, the slogan “Let Go and Let god” may suggest to some people that all we have to do is sidestep the challenges that confront us and somehow, by a kind of spiritual magic, God will do all the work.
There was a purpose in His giving His children free will, intelligence and good sense; we can fulfill ourselves only by using these gifts in dealing with the daily problems that arise.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I may be ready to submit to God’s guidance; I may humbly ask for it; but along with being willing, I must cooperate by doing my part. If I am truly receptive, he will make His will known to me step by step, each day; but I must carry it out.
“Surrender to God’s will does not give us a passport to inertia. Each of us must try to carry out God’s will, which He transmits to us in ways we recognize only after we have made ourselves willing and aware.”
Our slogans are so clear and simple, yet they may still mean different things to different people. We naturally color them somewhat according to our own experience and reaction to the words and ideas.
For example, the slogan “Let Go and Let god” may suggest to some people that all we have to do is sidestep the challenges that confront us and somehow, by a kind of spiritual magic, God will do all the work.
There was a purpose in His giving His children free will, intelligence and good sense; we can fulfill ourselves only by using these gifts in dealing with the daily problems that arise.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I may be ready to submit to God’s guidance; I may humbly ask for it; but along with being willing, I must cooperate by doing my part. If I am truly receptive, he will make His will known to me step by step, each day; but I must carry it out.
“Surrender to God’s will does not give us a passport to inertia. Each of us must try to carry out God’s will, which He transmits to us in ways we recognize only after we have made ourselves willing and aware.”
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October 21 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
One suggestion we hear in Al-Anon is: Don’t take anyone’s inventory but your own. This may surprise us if we feel, as many of us have, that all our misery is caused by the actions of the alcoholic. We are eager to justify ourselves, explaining what he or she did that was so shocking, so inexcusable! Then how, we ask, could anyone think we were at fault?
Gradually, we come to understand that we could have done many things more wisely. Perhaps we have criticized actions that we need not have taken to heart. We brought many troubles on ourselves, we find, by interfering. Finally, we see that we have much inventorying of our own to do.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Do I habitually criticize others? I will learn to Live and Let Live.
Am I fearful, picturing with dread what the future will bring? I will Let Go and Let God, and live only for this one day.
Do I aggravate family problems with temper tantrums and uncontrolled words and actions? I will remind myself to Think. Am I constantly in a state of flustered confusion? I will put First Things First.
“I find the slogans a great help in taking a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.”
One suggestion we hear in Al-Anon is: Don’t take anyone’s inventory but your own. This may surprise us if we feel, as many of us have, that all our misery is caused by the actions of the alcoholic. We are eager to justify ourselves, explaining what he or she did that was so shocking, so inexcusable! Then how, we ask, could anyone think we were at fault?
Gradually, we come to understand that we could have done many things more wisely. Perhaps we have criticized actions that we need not have taken to heart. We brought many troubles on ourselves, we find, by interfering. Finally, we see that we have much inventorying of our own to do.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Do I habitually criticize others? I will learn to Live and Let Live.
Am I fearful, picturing with dread what the future will bring? I will Let Go and Let God, and live only for this one day.
Do I aggravate family problems with temper tantrums and uncontrolled words and actions? I will remind myself to Think. Am I constantly in a state of flustered confusion? I will put First Things First.
“I find the slogans a great help in taking a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
October 22 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Once I am immersed in the Al-Anon program in my search for peace of mind, I feel I am committed to the effort to understand my own drives and motives, and to correct those, which are hampering me.
The search for self-understanding is a difficult, if not impossible, thing to achieve fully. But we can learn a lot about ourselves if we have the courage to face our real motives, without deceiving ourselves with evasions. We can, if we don’t allow uneasy guilt feelings to obscure our good qualities, which we must recognize and build upon.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Taking my own inventory does not mean concentrating on my shortcomings until all the good is hidden from view. Recognizing the good is not an act of pride or conceit, as I may have feared. If I recognize my good qualities as God-given, I can do it with true humility while experiencing joyous satisfaction in what is pleasant, loving and generous in me.
“I am larger, better than I thought, I did not know I held so much goodness.” – Walt Whitman
Once I am immersed in the Al-Anon program in my search for peace of mind, I feel I am committed to the effort to understand my own drives and motives, and to correct those, which are hampering me.
The search for self-understanding is a difficult, if not impossible, thing to achieve fully. But we can learn a lot about ourselves if we have the courage to face our real motives, without deceiving ourselves with evasions. We can, if we don’t allow uneasy guilt feelings to obscure our good qualities, which we must recognize and build upon.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Taking my own inventory does not mean concentrating on my shortcomings until all the good is hidden from view. Recognizing the good is not an act of pride or conceit, as I may have feared. If I recognize my good qualities as God-given, I can do it with true humility while experiencing joyous satisfaction in what is pleasant, loving and generous in me.
“I am larger, better than I thought, I did not know I held so much goodness.” – Walt Whitman
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
October 23 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Sometimes, it is good to examine a commonplace familiar phrase, meditate on it, take it apart and explore its inner meaning.
We hear someone say, “He is standing in his own light.” How clearly the picture emerges of our shadowing our own happiness by mistaken thinking .Let us stand aside so the light can shine on us and on all we do, so we can see ourselves and our circumstances with true clarity.
If we have Al-Anon, there is no need to stand in our own light and try to solve our problems in darkness. The ways and means that Al-Anon offers have lighted the way for so many thousands of despairing people that no one can question their power.
TODAY’S REMINDER
When I am faced with a problem that seems impossible to solve, when I feel trapped in a situation and can see no way out, let me ask myself whether I am standing in my own light. I must find the vantage point where I can most clearly see my difficulty as it is; then, answers will come.
“…and the light shall shine in the dark places and make all clear as day.”
Sometimes, it is good to examine a commonplace familiar phrase, meditate on it, take it apart and explore its inner meaning.
We hear someone say, “He is standing in his own light.” How clearly the picture emerges of our shadowing our own happiness by mistaken thinking .Let us stand aside so the light can shine on us and on all we do, so we can see ourselves and our circumstances with true clarity.
If we have Al-Anon, there is no need to stand in our own light and try to solve our problems in darkness. The ways and means that Al-Anon offers have lighted the way for so many thousands of despairing people that no one can question their power.
TODAY’S REMINDER
When I am faced with a problem that seems impossible to solve, when I feel trapped in a situation and can see no way out, let me ask myself whether I am standing in my own light. I must find the vantage point where I can most clearly see my difficulty as it is; then, answers will come.
“…and the light shall shine in the dark places and make all clear as day.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
October 24 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
One evening at a meeting, there seemed to be an unusual number of complaints from members about not having what they felt entitled to, or about the alcoholics’ behaviors and generally about their sorry lot in life.
One, a forthright person, spoke up.
“You know, all this sounds as though some of us were childishly expecting life to be entirely free of problems. I recall a long-ago radio comedienne whose favorite line went something like this, ‘Well, you have to take the bitter with the better.’ That’s pretty good Al-Anon philosophy, too, because it tells us we have to accept some unpalatable experiences along the way, never forgetting, at the same time, to keep an eye on the good things.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Am I expecting everything in life to be just the way I want it? Maybe I ought to take a good look at those expectations and see if they are realistic for my particular situation. If I’m constantly reaching for the moon, I’m going to miss a lot of pleasant things right here in my little world.
“The Serenity Prayer is excellent medicine for discontentment.”
One evening at a meeting, there seemed to be an unusual number of complaints from members about not having what they felt entitled to, or about the alcoholics’ behaviors and generally about their sorry lot in life.
One, a forthright person, spoke up.
“You know, all this sounds as though some of us were childishly expecting life to be entirely free of problems. I recall a long-ago radio comedienne whose favorite line went something like this, ‘Well, you have to take the bitter with the better.’ That’s pretty good Al-Anon philosophy, too, because it tells us we have to accept some unpalatable experiences along the way, never forgetting, at the same time, to keep an eye on the good things.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Am I expecting everything in life to be just the way I want it? Maybe I ought to take a good look at those expectations and see if they are realistic for my particular situation. If I’m constantly reaching for the moon, I’m going to miss a lot of pleasant things right here in my little world.
“The Serenity Prayer is excellent medicine for discontentment.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
October 25 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
People often marvel when they see the Al-Anon program bring about changes in the lives of those who practice it. This is its secret: that it is built on the fundamental ethical philosophy which has been known throughout the ages. It is stated in such widely different books as the Bible and the fables of Aesop.
To deal gently with our fellowman is suggested in Galatians: “The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, gentleness…”
The same thought appears in the fable of the wind and the sun, who challenged one another as to which could first remove the cloak of a passing traveler. As the wind blew hard and cold, the man wrapped the cloak tightly around him; then, the sun shone, and its warmth made the man take off his cloak.
TODAY’S REMINDER
In Al-Anon, this same thought is repeated in many ways that point out that we can do nothing by force or compulsion. I will remind myself not to be too determined in my judgment and actions.
“Kindness is the mightiest force in the world.”
People often marvel when they see the Al-Anon program bring about changes in the lives of those who practice it. This is its secret: that it is built on the fundamental ethical philosophy which has been known throughout the ages. It is stated in such widely different books as the Bible and the fables of Aesop.
To deal gently with our fellowman is suggested in Galatians: “The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, gentleness…”
The same thought appears in the fable of the wind and the sun, who challenged one another as to which could first remove the cloak of a passing traveler. As the wind blew hard and cold, the man wrapped the cloak tightly around him; then, the sun shone, and its warmth made the man take off his cloak.
TODAY’S REMINDER
In Al-Anon, this same thought is repeated in many ways that point out that we can do nothing by force or compulsion. I will remind myself not to be too determined in my judgment and actions.
“Kindness is the mightiest force in the world.”
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