Hidden Vodka
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 18
Hidden Vodka
I am on Day 6 and just wanted to share what happened last night. 2 times my bf was going about his business around the house and ended up finding 2 hidden bottles of vodka. One of the bottles was empty, but the other one was practically full! We laughed about it, but I also felt extremely ashamed and embaressed. I told him I must have forgotten I even had the one that was almost full, otherwise it would have been empty or not there. Craziness!! He kinda made a joke about it saying, "How many more of these am I gonna find around the house?" But, I know deep down, it was a reminder to him just how bad my alcoholism had gotten.
Being sober, it was an eye-opener to me, also.....when not in a fog, I didn't want to defend the situation. I just wanted to hang my head in shame and apologize. Wow - if I would have been drinking, I would have protected that bottle like a mama bear protects her cubs.
By the way - today is Day 6 of my sobriety AND is also me and my boyfriend's 6th anniversary!
How ironic is that?!
We will be going to an Arts and Crafts Fair, then he's taking me to dinner for Thai food. I'm SO looking forward to it! It will be the first anniversary that I will be sober. Hell - it will be the first time we ever go out to eat at a restaurant that serves alcohol and not drink any! I'm the luckiest woman in the world to have such a wonderful man stand by my side all this time even through the horrors and hell of my alcoholism. I wish I could take everything back that I ever did drunk - but, since I can't, I want to do everything in my power to be a better girlfriend and give us a better life! (Maybe even become "wife material" someday.)
Being sober, it was an eye-opener to me, also.....when not in a fog, I didn't want to defend the situation. I just wanted to hang my head in shame and apologize. Wow - if I would have been drinking, I would have protected that bottle like a mama bear protects her cubs.
By the way - today is Day 6 of my sobriety AND is also me and my boyfriend's 6th anniversary!
How ironic is that?!We will be going to an Arts and Crafts Fair, then he's taking me to dinner for Thai food. I'm SO looking forward to it! It will be the first anniversary that I will be sober. Hell - it will be the first time we ever go out to eat at a restaurant that serves alcohol and not drink any! I'm the luckiest woman in the world to have such a wonderful man stand by my side all this time even through the horrors and hell of my alcoholism. I wish I could take everything back that I ever did drunk - but, since I can't, I want to do everything in my power to be a better girlfriend and give us a better life! (Maybe even become "wife material" someday.)
to both of you ...
I love this place.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 329
Congrats on day 6! Awesome! I too was a 'hider'...reminds me of the story in the Big Book, The Housewife Who Drank at Home"...hiding bottles in the hamper. LOL! Crazy huh?
Have a wonderful SOBER day!
Have a wonderful SOBER day!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: North America
Posts: 162
I was a hider as well. I'm sure I'll be finding empties for some time. In the end the only person I was hiding it from was myself. My wife knew it the whole time. Hiding my booze was just another sign of how deeply I was consumed by this disease. I have only been sober 6 days but life is already so much less complicated when living in the light of sobriety.
Congrats on your 6 days!
Congrats on your 6 days!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 18
Wow!! Thanks everybody! It's so calming to know that there are others out there just like me. Soberwingz - I completely feel the same about life being so much less complicated. It's like taking a huge weight off my shoulders.
Northwoods - It really makes me feel good to know that my post made you happy! To tell you the truth.....I never thought I (ME!) would ever have someone say that something I did or said made them happy. I was constantly hurting people. It's a nice feeling.
It's hard to believe that just last week I hated myself and couldn't have cared less if I lived or died. I thought I would never be strong enough or confident enough to love life again.
And.....this website has helped me tremendously make that possible!
Northwoods - It really makes me feel good to know that my post made you happy! To tell you the truth.....I never thought I (ME!) would ever have someone say that something I did or said made them happy. I was constantly hurting people. It's a nice feeling.
It's hard to believe that just last week I hated myself and couldn't have cared less if I lived or died. I thought I would never be strong enough or confident enough to love life again.
And.....this website has helped me tremendously make that possible!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Lilhaze,
I actually got shivers when I read your post. Shivers thinking about the bottle hiding that I used to do (I hated trying to find them all so no one else would find them-then never knowing if I found them all.)! And I got shivers when you conveyed your plans for the day and for tonight. I am so happy for you....wish I could give you a hug. Have fun today!!!!
I actually got shivers when I read your post. Shivers thinking about the bottle hiding that I used to do (I hated trying to find them all so no one else would find them-then never knowing if I found them all.)! And I got shivers when you conveyed your plans for the day and for tonight. I am so happy for you....wish I could give you a hug. Have fun today!!!!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
lilhaze,
I was deeply touched by your post, and I wasn't a hider! Be prepared for some tough times as you start to feel again. It is not bad, just new for us that haven't been sober for a lot of years. It is good to "feel bad" when we do, and not have medicated ourselves with booze beyond feeling and dealing.
So when you feel tempted to drown it all away remember that you also will be able to feel the joys, the loves, the tenderness, the peace, and the contentment you also self medicated away.
I don't know why you are surprised that you helped others by your very touching post. I am also inspired by it, thank you for that, today.
I was deeply touched by your post, and I wasn't a hider! Be prepared for some tough times as you start to feel again. It is not bad, just new for us that haven't been sober for a lot of years. It is good to "feel bad" when we do, and not have medicated ourselves with booze beyond feeling and dealing.
So when you feel tempted to drown it all away remember that you also will be able to feel the joys, the loves, the tenderness, the peace, and the contentment you also self medicated away.
I don't know why you are surprised that you helped others by your very touching post. I am also inspired by it, thank you for that, today.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Congrats on 6 days! 
I can feel the good feelings coming from your post, too!
I found a couple of empty wine bottles last week myself - after 18 months of sobriety. So yeah, you're definitely not alone!
Thanks for sharing your day with us...... I think it's important to have things we can look forward to in early sobriety. One of those things for me was food! I treated myself a lot (and still lost about 20 pounds in the first 6 months).
Keep going strong..........
I can feel the good feelings coming from your post, too!I found a couple of empty wine bottles last week myself - after 18 months of sobriety. So yeah, you're definitely not alone!
Thanks for sharing your day with us...... I think it's important to have things we can look forward to in early sobriety. One of those things for me was food! I treated myself a lot (and still lost about 20 pounds in the first 6 months).
Keep going strong..........
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
I found some booze a year or so after I quit. I poured it out and took great precaution to get the evidence out of the house so that my family wouldn't think I had relapsed. It bothered me and I felt better when I shared the experience at an AA meeting.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Congrats on day 6 and ya , member of the hider club here and wow , I was not so smart and found one stashed away after a nice serene set of weeks and ....well no drunkalog ....heck knows I suspect I will keep finding them ( or my family will ) and the drain pipe is the place for them and ya , always vodka.
Enjoy a great 6th !
Enjoy a great 6th !
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 957
Had to laugh when I read your post.
I can't relate to the shame and remorse as well, when I found a couple of Budlite cans hiding in some boots in my closet last year.
The lengths we go to hide our addiction.
Have a good time at the fair and out to dinner.
I can't relate to the shame and remorse as well, when I found a couple of Budlite cans hiding in some boots in my closet last year.
The lengths we go to hide our addiction.
Have a good time at the fair and out to dinner.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
