happybear

I've been coming to aa/na for 17 years, I had some successes and some relapses. Right now I'm 7 days clean from have my last relapse. I keep getting told by the oldtimers that I need to "keep coming back" especially after if I share at a meeing. What's is it with me that everytime I share someone keeps reminding me I need to "keep coming back" even after 17 years of attendence I still get told this message, I mean like: what's so wrong with me that they keep saying that to me? Everyone else gets a "thanks for sharing that was so brilliant" I just keep getting told to just :"please keep coming back."

alaskasunshine

Me too. Ive been in and out of aa for 15 years, the last five I have established myself in a home group, have had a few sponsors, the last one for a few months, she has been the most helpful. But as I relapse over and over, and yet, they tell me "keep coming back". But now I wonder why I keep coming back. why am I just not getting it!!!

Dee74

I'm not in AA but I'm so glad I kept coming back to the hope I could recover, however small.

However bad things got, I held onto that hope and it eventually bought me here and to a massive change.

You have to be in it to win it, right? I think that's all that saying really means

D

laurie6781

The saying used to be:

"keep coming back, AA works if you work it."

For a long time it has been shortened to:

"Keep coming back."

Keep coming back until you get that 'light bulb moment' and you know to the very CORE OF YOUR BEING that you are powerless over alcohol (no doubts or reservations left) and that your life is unmanageable while ingesting those toxins. Then you will have completed your step 1 in concrete and granite and will have a great foundation to move onto step 2.

However, the opposite side of the coin is that maybe AA is just not for you and it may be time to try one of the other programs such as SMART, CBT, Rational Recovery, Life Ring, etc

So .................................. for now

KEEP COMING BACK

Love and hugs,

Terminally Unique

Insanity:

Mark75

I agree with both Laurie and TU.

Meeting makers make it... well, not always. Multiple relapses isn't "making it". Do you have a sponsor? Have you had that "light Bulb" moment? If you keep coming back and haven't had one, do something different, either within AA or somewhere else.

I hope you find that serenity you need and deserve.

And yea, people who have just relapsed and shared about it will often hear those words... "keep coming back". Rightly or wrongly, it is the reality. Sharing is not a competition... though sometimes it feels like it, and sometimes people judge others, which is unfortunate.

UofI2008

Try something else. Sometimes realizing you are POWERFUL over alcohol and that the choice to drink or not lies within you is a better attitude for some people. Don't focus so much on how you get there just keep trying and try something different until it works.

Good luck and Congrats on coming back!

MemphisBlues

Maybe you need to keep coming back because you don't get it, haven't surrendered, haven't worked the steps as the program requires...I think a sponsor is someone who works you through the steps, and for me, that has been a long-term relationship, not just a few months.

I am powerless over alcohol and drugs. That's why I don't do them. That requires internal "power" to abstain, but the steps are what makes me a person that doesn't need to drink or drugs.

You've been in and out of the rooms for 17 years. What's the longest you've stayed sober? Have you worked the steps? I believe the only step we have to get perfectly is the first one. Once you get that one, you find you are filled with power. A new kind.

keithj

'Keep coming back' is a phrase used by people who hope that eventually you will the hear message of AA if you keep trying to hear it. It doesn't sound like it's worked very well. Instead of 'keep coming back', how about the truth?

The truth is, alcoholism is a progressive, fatal condition. It is a hopeless condition from which there was no way out on my own power. It doesn't sound like you have sufficient power to overcome alcoholism as well. So, is there any hope for you in 'keep coming back'?

Instead, how about the message, 'I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the 12 Steps that has relieved me of the mental obsession of alcoholism. I've never had a drink since, nor do I struggle with the decision to drink. If you are willing to take the Steps like I did, you will have the same result."

Mcribb

I used to get a bit annoyed when I got the "Keep coming back" line. It ususually ment that I said something or my actions were doing something not in spirit with the AA lifestyle. Eventually I came back because I had a deep understanding that Good times go Bad, Bad times go Good, My House of sobriety needs to be built on House of God and AA. to be happy, joyous and free. I need to come back, I need to listen, I need to be apart of the solution. The rewards I get are endless. Playing with my children realitives, helping an aging person, being with people I love. All having God flow through me, it makes me very humble. Going to the meetings and walking through that door, I know who it is in charge, I know that I am powerless. Then my higher power is allowed into my heart, my spirit, my actions, and I am able to be who God wanted me to be. Countless hours of my time feeding the hungry, giving money to the poor, all because God has given me grace into my heart,my mind, my spirt.

Threshold

They say it not in judgement, but in encouragement. Because when we relapse we often think...that's it, I may as well give up and give in. THey believe we CAN recover, and indeed, for their own sakes they MUST believe that recovery is possible for any alcoholic, otherwise what hope is there for them?

They want you to win, and they want you to know that there is always a place for you in the rooms, no matter what. And that if you keep coming back, you have a chance to beat this.

alaskasunshine

I like what you said. I do have a choice. No one puts a gun to my head and says DRINK. That just never happens.

bellakeller

People in AA never tell me to come back after I've shared.....what's up with that?

yeahgr8

Have you considered working the steps with a sponsor, i.e. the solution in AA?

happybear

9 days clean, sponser says focus on steps one two three. i'm making meetings daily. still very anxious sad about my life, i do seem to have longer moments of serenity (usually after a meeting), I'm not too overly concerned with people saying to "keep coming back", but at times I wonder what their thinking, and i do find it annoying b/c i've been coming around for many years. I know can be hypersensitive and I tend to analyze every interaction that goes on in my life and I tend to "keep a scorecard" with others and i think: he/she shared -and admits to be in a tough spot and got a keep coming back from an oldtimer - he/she must not be working a proper program - poor soul. that what goes thru my head - pretty silly way of thinking - time for me to grow up i guess

CarolD

I sure hope this will be your time for lasting sobreity:;;
Welcome to SR...

DavidR7845

Hi, I was at a meeting last night and I heard this ("keep coming back")...didnt reassure me later on that as I had yet another close shave almost buying drink. It was 21:45 and the store closes 22:00 and I remember thinking yeah well this is whats going to happen anyway may as well. Does not inspire confidence.

sampar

Did u buy the drink??? If not then something u heard in the meeting must have rubbed off on you. The words "keep coming back" alone arent going to keep you sober, its just a way of other members to tell you no matter what happens "come back your welcome" The whole programme of AA works not just the bits & pieces we choose to pick out to suit our selves !! The only desire for membership is a desire to stop drinking, so if you have that desire "Keep coming back!!!!!"

Boleo

When one old-timer tells another old-timer to "Keep coming back", it means
"You obviously don't get it yet!"

sugarbear1

If I ask the person who says this to me-maybe they will tell me what they mean!

I'm tired of thinking for others, I have a hard enough time thinking for me.